A FanTAsY LAnD oF MINe AnD A pLACe to DreaM Of>..

Last night in Singapore and will only be back 10 days later...

2008-03-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

Woah...

this is the last night i am actually typing in the cyberspace of dear Singapura... Tomorrow, i will be over at Beijing skies. And, for the first time ever at the 1.15am flight, i will be boarding the plane.. (even though they want us to go to the airport at 1030pm.. arrr).

Nothing to really blog and i am tired.

shall rest.

goodbye people. cya in 10 days' time...

I run.

2008-03-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

During the cycle at ECP, the wind tugging at my hair, the fast-paced cycling against all odds was the best moment. The night breeze touching lightly on the skin and i felt the shivers of pure bliss. I love the action and the serenity in the surroundings. Its definitely an escape. "A great escape. We're finally free tonight!" (By Boys Like Girls). There i was being cut off from the world and for a moment, it feels great. I want to do it again. The cycle. The night.

I am really an idiot where these kind of matters are concerned. I always say the wrong things at the wrong time... I don't mean to hurt but i am just confused and its gnawning at me... I know this isnt being fair. I'm messed up. I don't know why it affects so much since the last. What does it mean? I am really bad at interpreting things and guessing at every step. I am sorry.

I guess it has come to mean something but i'm not sure what.

I just know that i need to run. Maybe one day i'll stop and see. A good training for 2.4km. haas... I know i still have articles to write but i am just bored and need my run. Maybe, i'll finally do some work after i come back.

This is irritating...

2008-03-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

I hate it when you do that.

You scream.
you shout.
You hurl all sorts of accusations.
I don't want to respond.

But you said i don't care.

I just don't want to put up a fight.
I rather have some peace.
You can say whatever you want.

I am bored.

2008-03-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

I didnt get what i want!

I guess i will just have to resign to fate and i tend to accept reality really fast. Because i believe in not dwelling on things that make me sad. Because i will be down the whole day. ok, does it even make sense? i guess not but who cares. As long as i understand, right?

I got PRINT! I mean obviously i dont HATE it... I actually love writing... when i came into MCM, this is partially the reason for my exisistence and the sole reason why i wouldnt want a rudimentary education system, fixated only on the subjects i have absolutely no interest in. I think if i were to go JC, the only subjects i might even be remotely interested will be GP and biology. ok, i think biology is the most interesting science i have ever encountered in sec school.. no reason why. just pure liking. But, to others, that might appear crazy... its like the worse 2 subjects!

But, that's not the point!

The point is: I got PRINTJOURN! I wonder how i will survive in it. because i know myself that my writing is jus average and most of the times, below average.

Save me.

I want PR because it fits like lock-and-key to IMC, which i chose. Now, i have IMC with nothing to fit and it kind of feel weird and out of place.

And, since i have started complaining, i might as well continue grumbling...

My classes are like at the unearthly hr of 8am for 3 days of the 4. Argh. yea, i like it in the sense that it will end early. BUT, 3 days... and i live at HOUGANG. that's like so unfair.

Mon 8 to 12am.
Tues 10 to 2pm
Wed 8 to 4pm
Thurs 8 to 4pm
Fri (IS day)

ok, well well. its a long weird post. full of grumbles but oh well... these few days have been out and about the whole day... From jogging with 3 weird, funny, nice MONSTERS (some with magic... as if) to out with my cousins to eat, talk and play majong... haas... i know how to 'play'. Well, just some fun to kill the boredom.

And, my thumb hurts for no particular reason.

And, i am dreaming of my glasshouse. When can i have one... One with an open-roof at night so i can look up at the stars!
Dreaming again.
Yea.
Now, i can only resort to looking at nice pictures in books.
Library books.
haas.

After 2 years...

2008-03-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

"went to 4i gathering tdy after work...
went to ms neo house...
at some weird ulu place...
mimosa terrace...
not bad...
abt 30 ppl turned up...
everyone still same same la...
and me and nic and zj as always..
haha bully ph... fun..."

- Taken from Jel's blog
________________________

ok... originally, i dont even want to blog and all but after reading Jel's entry (and owing to her having no tagboard...), i have to sort of reply here. The focus is on the last sentence. grr.

Now, it all begins on Sat night, when we went to Ms. Neo's house for 4I gathering. Ok, i missed like 3 and well... i thought i would better come for this. haas.. And, i beleive ms. neo lived at some jungle because the road names are like Mimosa terrace, saraca or is it sacarra road... and begonia road... PLANTS! We took a cab there and even alighted at the wrong place.

And, after some calling and all... we finally got there! Haas.. and that reminds me, nic tan is always like such a street directory (ops... hopefullym you are not reading this... haas.) Whenever I got lost last time, I will always know who to call. Thanks, yea?

Ok, and now the part is when we go in, its only within 15mins or so and i am like "bullied". Argh. that is so unfair! But, i agree with you, Jel, is that.. its still the same ppl who did that... same in class and 2 years later, same here.
"and me and nic and zj as always..
haha bully ph... fun..."

oh well, i will just have to resign to fate. Even Ms. Neo said, i am still the same in that aspect.

All in the good name of fun i guess... But, I think this gathering is one of the most successful one amongst the 3 others over the 2 years? At least the turnout is good. And, yea.. played all the silly games and all...

ok, the best part: We were going to leave.

GY: "Qi Li, Xing Li" (translation: class stand, bow)
[ yea, this is what we have to do in sec sch for every class]

ALL: "Thank you Ms. Neo, Goodbye Ms. Neo"
[ For old times' sake]

Aww...

The day to remember...

2008-03-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

She said:

I escape.
I avoid. I remain nonchalant.
I cast it aside.
I wanted to make my life simpler.
I don’t want to think too much.
I want to live life as it goes.

It’s been like that since the last one. I know I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t keep running away from my problems and lack the courage to face up to reality. I am quite a coward to say the least. But, i am not sure of what i want and all... So, i chose to put it aside and wait for the answer to be brought to me. Yes, that's not being fair but for now, i guess its the best solution as it is yet.

I don't want the distance of an ocean.
---------------------------------------------
Ok, another abstract piece since my last long long post... its not exactly directly related to me at all... just some random thoughts to start this new post. ever since the last. It's being long overdue i know and its gonna be long.. so just stop reading here.

Reason for choosing this day for my blog piece: Its results day (and, its more than just results) and the thought of Dennis when he asked about our results and made us set our aims. We exchanged our aims and report our results. But, not now anymore. I made a promise that i will fulfil my aims because of him. So, if anybody is the source of motivation for me, it would have to be him. Thank you, dennis.

When i said its long overdue, yes it is. Because i wanted to blog on his one yr anniversary, but i thought today would make it extra meaningful. I remembered the times we sat in the clubhouse and exchanged our aims and goals. And, i remembered the cremation day last year was the release of our results. its been a year.

Memories as if yesteryear.
The shout-outs from the bridge.
The fun-filled sessions we had.
The msn conversations.
The friend I found in you.

All's been well. I looked back at the post of March 2006 and read through how i captured you at my best memories. At least, its imprinted and i can always look back. But, shron, you captured him best.

-------------------------------------

Now, as promised its gonna be a long post.. so too bad. pls stop here if you are really reading.. because its really long... haas. long overdue! And, as like always i have no pictures.

Results. well, its been ok i guess..And, i am satisfied, especially after the worry. The previous night has been a toss and turn because of the worry for how it will all turn out. I know i did not do too well for feat and radio because of the last 2 assgns. And, that's been nagging at me. I have always loved feat. writing even though the outcome has always been blatant or a staggering disappointment. So, now i don't dare to say i love writing as it is. Has that fire diminished?

I chose the electives:
Integrated Mar. comm
Photojournalism
Public relations

Now, i pray for the miracle to happen for me to get into these choices! I know PR will be kind of hard since i placed in at the third but i still hope for the miracle to happen.

Why photojourn? Many would ask. Even i myself toyed with this idea for a long time before finally placing it down. Well, i have always loved photography. ok, love is a strong adjective. More the adoration and infatuation. I only possess a normal digital cam. Not the SLR, neither the DSLR. So, i wonder how i will survive in it. But, i believe if i get into it, it will be the one module i will really enjoy myself and go the extra mile.

A picture tells a thousand words. How can one live without images?

-----------------------------------------

Lastly, i am starting to get tired of all these typing and long post. Argh. But, how can i conside this a LONG OVERDUE post if i don't mention this factbite that i am FLYING soon. to Beijing. Nah, its not the olympics though i could probably sneak off and stay there till the olympics. But, i wont.

yea, to those i have mentioned countless of times, i am goin beijing for a study trip. Only 10 days from 2 April. But, its my first plane ride of my life. (laugh here if you want, but its true.) I am finally one step closer to freedom and one step closer to fulfilling my dream of travelling around the world.

Even though i would have liked my first stop to be SPAIN but one cannot be too greedy, right? Learn to be satisfied not to be satiated. One day, i will go Spain. But, for now. Beijing it shall be. At least, its an SQ flight.

----------------------------------
Phew.

This is horrible!

2008-01-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not.. this week is horrible. So does this sem, even though yea, we might have compplained about the other sem too.. But, comparatively, this sem is shorter and datelines are really tight. These 2 weeks has been the most horrible times but also the best times in sort. well, last week, we had production going on and that's the good part, especially when the curtains were down and everything ended nicely. But, the bad part will be the time juggling between going for rehearsals and rushing through projects datelines... Then, the worse is yet to come.. This week, though it has been only 3 days and equally hectic, 2 fattt projects were due yesterday: PR FInal and WebD Journal. Don't be fooled by the word 'journal' and thinks that its some personal diary of writings where you can easily do up to 10 pages at one shot. But, alas no. It involves a whole lot of cutting, pasting, designing, drawing and writings... All in one. And, 50 pages of those. This is totally horrible. Considering I only really started in the weekends, did from 12 to 7am for sat, 10 to 2am for Sun and 8pm to 8am (all nighter) on tues, the dateline day. NO SLEEP!!! argh. And, there's hardly breathing space as i rushed for class, staggering into a cab, which is seriously overpriced and got to school just nice.

Not a wink. Nothing.
Now, today, doing an all-nighter for webD presentation tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Why not just send me Good Luck Chuck?

A wrap!

2008-01-25T20:21:00.000-08:00

2 weeks of severe lack of sleep finally crept in and yesterday was the one day where i slept most blissfuly.. Yea, i mean there are still tons of work to rush and datelines to meet for next week but... after PSF's production, everything is nice and completed. well, i would like to think that though its not true as yet... enough about all these ramblings because the main focus here is the play we staged yesterday: BLK 117.

After the months of 'toiling' and endless hours of rehearsals, we finally staged it to a roaring crowd... (though i have no idea why the audience laughs at almost everything... but, well maybe its because we are desensitised and too used to the scenes). But, beyond that... this Arts' Outreach! might not have garnered the support we would have wanted in the first show.. but, at least we tried and no matter if the audience is just one.. THE SHOW HAS TO GO ON! And, it is when everything comes together and everyone has a good time... I know its worth it! BLK 117 is our fruit of labour.. the first play that is considered a full-length play to say the least... A script not taken from anywhere else but from PSF members and written by our dear VP... *pass some phelgm* and serena, our dear director. During the process, we might have faced a lot of difficulties and a clash with all the schedules, but ultimately, we made it and yesterday's turnout is the best testament PSF could have.. Before we step down. this is something we are all proud of.. at least, me.

For all those who turned up, thank you for giving us your support and believing in us. To my dear friends, thank you for coming and for those who 'shouted' for me.. haas.. (almost making me laugh!!!) , thank you too.. its been great and awesome last night! Though everytime before a play, the feeling of trepidation and butterflies ae always around, but that thrill of going onto stage and belting out the lines... the ambience and everything else jus fills up that hole. Before going up the stage, we told ourselves, we will just go up and play, have a good time... because after all, to me.. the stage is ours at that time. haas...

Awesome. And, finally, ending with a rememberance of the pillar of light, support and motivation for me and for us: Dennis, happy birthday. On this day, PSF put up this day, i hope we made you proud of us. The times where we struggled with the venue and the selection of the scripts, copyrights and all.. It all happens now. everything's finally right now. The year has been long and things happened... But, I will always remember what and how you believed in us.. pushing us along and conceiving this arts outreach programme (a slight change) and many many more.. for staying with us in our discussions and setbacks. We fulfiled what you have wished upon us and i sincerly hope that you are watching us from above and grinning from ear to ear.

Happy Birthday!

Thank you PSF.

Poly Stage f'Actor production...

2008-01-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

Hey people, below will be the details of PSF's upcoming play... DO come and support us. If you want to book any tickets, do call me and i will pass the tickets to you..

Poly Stage F'Actor (PSF), Ngee Ann Polytechnic's only English Theatre group, presents....

Block 117 (Play)

Arts' Outreach! 2008 (Arts event)

____________________________________________________

Block 117

Venue: Ngee Ann Polytechnic, LT 26
Date: 24 & 25 January
Time: 7 pm
Tickets: $5 (All proceeds go to charity.)

Block 117 is a heartwarming play about two families living in the same block. Sentiments, Comedy, Dysfunctionality and queer, yet interesting characters make up the ingredients to the play.The story is woven by the members of PSF and refined by a student scriptwriter and The Director. Touching on issues of ageing, and family problems, this is a play set to tug at your heartstrings and leave you wanting more. Surprises are in store for you, here at Block 117!
So hurry! Buy your tickets and treat yourself to this heartwarming play this January!
You can call me if you have my number, or email me at esprit_detruit@hotmail.com. I'll book the tickets for you and arrange for you to receive them. Looking forward to seeing you at the play!
_____________________________________________________
Arts' Outreach! 2008
Venue: Ngee Ann Polytechnic: The Atrium (Main events); LT 26 (Groove! Concert)
Date: 23-25 January
Time: 12-2 pm (Gigs and performances)
6:30-7:45pm (Concert)
Tickets: $2 (Groove!) (All proceeds go to charity.)
The Arts' Outreach is essentially an event to celebrate and promote the arts to the Ngee Ann Polytechnic student body. The event is pioneering this year and is created and hosted by Poly Stage F'Actor. The event is pioneering as a simple event with performances and a concert. A collaboration of the Ngee Ann Arts' Community and student musicians, the event is set to promote the arts to you, all for a worthy cause. All proceeds from the performances and the concert will be donated to charity.
Groove!
Groove! is one of the two main events for this outreach. It is a concert whereby the Ngee Ann Arts Community comes together to put up several performances to quench your thirst for the Arts. Music, Dance, Theatre; whichever is close to your heart, we've got it. So what are you waiting for! Come join us, in the celebration of the Arts!
Look out for us, as Poly Stage F'Actor stages it's comeback!

- taken from http://life-infested-with-laughs.blogspot.com/

The New Year 2008

2008-01-01T01:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, its a new year and looking back at the past year, I must say many things happened. Happy moments and not so happy ones.
For one, this "Yeah! A great 2007 countdown and may all be blessed!!!" will not pop out at my MSN anymore. I know it's been some time but I will still say that I won't forget the few months in 2007 where we talked and joked. Thank you for all that you've given me, given us. It's a great deal. And, in 2007, it's the most memorable part.

In 2007, I made a bunch of new friends and yea, thanks for being there and riding throught the insurmountable load of projs thrown at us. The singing sessions, project-ing sessions and sometimes even just crapping about during lunches. I explored ulu pplaces in Singapore and feasted myself with the photo-galore. I went about approaching people for donations and really made a bunch of good colleagues, who showed me what loyalty to friends is all about. Year 2007, I did a lot of things, played a lot, worked hard and had fun.

Now, it's a brand new year, with lots mroe awaiting me. I won't do any goals and aspirations list because it's going to be the same old thing every year and I know as long as I do it, I'm proud of myself and you'll be proud of me... Bur, a short term goal won't be so bad right? Just for 2 mths, Jan and Feb, I hope PSF's play and Arts Outreach is a booming success and I can complete my projects and exams on a high note! Well, who doesn't?

P.s.
3/1- Beauty World
4/1- Radio test
- 56's album
- Comm Is due

Guess which I am most happy?

What makes me happy...

2007-12-27T20:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, even the simplest things in life makes us happy but sometimes it's more than that. To, me I have a list of what makes me happy and contented. These things will just plaster a huge, big grin on my face. Some of which I have done but some not...

1. To be on a plane
2. To be able to travel to Spain
3. To be able to explore undiscovered places even if it's just in Singapore
4. Scoring well for anything and everything
5. To be able to take good shots
6. To sleep for 24hrs straight
7. To have plentiful and bountiful energy
8. To get an internship in Taiwan, though my mandarin is...
9. To study overseas in King's College
10. For xz to talk to me for 5 whole mins
11. To have an elder brother
12. To be able to write something I am proud of
13. To finish every project and exam
14. To have lots of free time
15. To go to the gym
16. To go take the River Taxi ride at Clarke Quay
17. To get into Clinic
18. To watch theatre plays
19. To work in a musical
20. To remember about Dennis
21. To work on a play together
22. To meet TPH
23. To meet up with all my sec sch friends
24. For someone to remember me
25. For a shooting star
26. To be surrounded by friends and family
27. To play card games with my cousins
28. To go back to my Kindergarden
29. To make merry
30. To not care about anything that's happening in the world
31. To get to watch my favourite shows
32. To have cash
33. When we are talking about our dreams
34. Sleeping under the stars
35. Have my dream glasshouse
36. To have our own company that we planned for
37. To be a free soul and not be tied down
38. Finding my lost friends
39. Eating nice food that i've never before
40. To just be myself
41. To have a villa in Spain
42. To draw and doodle on my desk
43. To have great memories
44. To live to enjoy life
45. Winning a lucky draw
46. Studying something I like
47. Just reading my favourite book
48. Listening to The Click Five and 5566
49. Seeing 5566 live
50. Waiting for 4th of jan 2008 to arrive

It's quite long and not really very realistic but well, that's just what I think.. in no particular order and only makes sense to me.

I m officially broke...

2007-12-24T09:32:00.000-08:00

Instead of starting to go on about how i spent my Christmas eve this year, why not a more realistic angle: How much I spent my cash in just a short one day! Here it goes...

1) This morning, I woke up late because my mom forgot the time to wake me up. Ok, i am dependent on human alarm clock but i just can't seem to wake up based on the mechanical one. So, there be it. And, I have to cab down. Yes, you did not get it wrong: I meant CAB. And, i foolishly took a Comfort cab too. So, as you can calculate the journey from one part of Singapore to another, that will be how much my cab fare is to school. Let me put in the surcharges: $2 (morning extra) + $2 (CTE) + $2 (PIE). That is only the surcharges alone. So, do some calculations and you'll know I start my day with a hole in my pocket, not literally.

2) Lunch was fine. But, we(candy, Peggy and I) decided to treat ourselves to something better so at Clubhouse. We ordered 3 dishes and feasted on them. The price was still quite reasonable.

3) Then, went to town to meet with Jel, Zijie and Marcus Chua. Apparently, they 'planned' this for quite some time but when I reached there late.. ok, sorry. haas... they still have no substantial plan or something called a plan to begin with.haas, the both of you... So who should be planning? haas. So, we just began to walk around aimlessly and fruitlessly. I bet we must have combed the streets of Orchard for at least 4 times to and fro? Ok, that's pathetic. 3 bored souls just walking... Oh, but i ate an Ice-Cream. So, bored as we are, we decided to go catch a movie: quite silly a notion because holiday pricing is EXORBITANT! But, the movie is at night. So, once again we have nothing to do. But, this time Marcus Chua met us and we were having a good laugh at his shaved head (haas, quite nice to touch! ) and he looked so different even after just one week in NS. But, yea.. back to how we acc him to shop for his clothes and stuff... After which, we wanted budget dinner isntead of the original fanciful one we planned. So, LGS is shall be!

4) Last part of the night, after catching the quite boring and still in the process of analysing movie, I am legend, we walked around Orchard again. This time, the lights are all lit up but the human traffic is as horrendous as ever. It's almost as if the whole Singpaore is swimming amongst the tiny concrete pavement. So, we decided to escape to somewhere saner but still high in the count of ambience: Clarke Quay! Ok, well, i wanted to take the river taxi because in my 18yrs of being in singapore, i have never been on its wooden boards and touch its smooth furnishings. Not to mention, feel the bob of the no-currents singapore waters. Well, but in the end, after touring around the area, and we see that the river taxi is closed by the time we want to take it. So, we kind of explored the place and soaked in the ambience and finally settled in TCC to drink and fill our stomachs. I must say the food and drink is superb but so is the price! EXORBITANT once again.

well well, now you must see that i shall be a hermit crab for the rest of this week. I hope. But, we shall see about that. At least i have to complete my work before even thinking of stepping out of the house! But, yea, that's how i spent, literally now, my Christmas eve. And, yea, the wee hrs of Christmas...

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Spirit...

2007-12-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

The past week, especially thurs is really a bad bad week for me... Totally bogged down by the projects, the unpleasant happenings in my life and the mishaps and throw in some super bad medicine (can't believe it... After a week and I still have yet fully recover and the flu is not gone... ). Yes, so all in all a really bad moment for me.

And, today... finally things changed and the skies cleared. I am in a really good mood even my proj is still yet to be done... I know my piece of good news might not even be anything to any of you but whatever... it's the best for me!

1. 5566's 4TH ALBUM AND NEWEST ALBUM IS COMING OUT ON 4 JAN 2008. PRE-ORDERING STARTS TODAY AND THEY ARE COMING ON THE 17 DEC FOR AUTOGRAPH SESSION. I heard their new songs online and see them boogey to the tunes, with slick and fabulous dance steps, which is quite different from their previous albums... It even won rave reviews in youtube comments page.... after 2 years plus of not having a new album... imagine the wait! And, now you know why this piece of news totally raised my spirits! But, I am still waiting to pre-order...

2. The best Christmas present: The theatre play by Dream Academy Playhouse - A Crazy Christmas. Just watched this like a few hours ago at The Drama Centre. It's a concert with no plot and no storyline. So, you might think it's just some christmas carolling and all but lo and behold.. IT'S NOT! The cast of 10 which includes Selena Tan, John Lee, Lim kay Siu, Pam Oei, Robin Goh, Tan Kheng Hwa, Lim Yu Beng, Sebestian Tan, Denise Tan, Lim Shi-An and finally.... HOSSAN LEONG! This guy, stand-up comedian and acclaimed actor is totally rave-worthy and definitely one to go ga-ga over... When you see him take the stage and even when he doesn't sing and just plain talk is so engaging and captivating. He's a star upon himself and this guy belongs on stage! Look at how he twists and turns, exaggerated hand movements and totally cool vocals...I can only say: throw this person at any sad, weeping soul and viola! I bet the person will be spinning in no time... How can someone be so at home on stage? That's the power of theatre. The Live! And, that's also the reason why i would rather cash in over-the-top amount on a play than on a concert by my favourite pop star! I have no explanation but it's just that. Be there and you would understand the difference in the ambience.
The play is a concert and the songs are not carols but jazz, pop, rock and everything else... I am not bias in saying this but they should totally have a soundtrack because it totally beats any Christmas singles or albums out there... The festivity is in the air, the mood is 'woah' and you get to see all the familiar faces in the local theatre scene all in one night, one play.... If it;s not for a sold-out one tomorrow night, I would have gone again to catch them in action and see them bring the house down! Anytime, for Hossan, the best comedian and my favourite theatre star!
I am so going to catch The Dim Sum Dollies re-run next year... but yea, gonna save up starting now... Argh, such a theatre bug... Sometimes, i wonder what it will be like being up there and doing all these... The feeling of stage, the presence of real audience and the proximity of the stage...
I'm Loving it...

ok, totally raving post... but, well, still in the mood because I just came back from the play.. haas.

Anyway, now that I feel so christmasy, I shall be a little cliche and do up a wish list:

- my dear 5566 album
- MatchBox Twenty album
- Bluelist 2008 travel Book
- watch Dim Sum Dollies
- Tour Singapore on Christmas Eve
- For all the projects to end (which is impossible)
- To have dinner at Fullerton WaterFront at night
- To be happy and not be sick again
- To meet Santa ( a childhood wish)
- To take beautiful pictures
- Just to be out and really enjoy myself for one night

Ok, it doesn't make sense but still...
just ignore this post!

The horrible week...

2007-11-30T03:06:00.000-08:00

Cobwebs are all over the place... Hanging spiders threatening to shut down the operations of the location. And, with that i mean this place called my blog. Checking from the date of my previous post, its been ages since i even blogged something at least half decent.
And, here... pls stop reading because its just going to be one long string of complaints and grumbles, which no sane person would really be interested in knowing... So, just sod it!

This week is just Bad. Yes, with a capital B because its to the extent and of horribleh...
Been sick with flu, cough, sore throat, fever and the resulting deep, resonant and "un-me" voice. I've 2 days MC but what's the use? I still have to go all the way back to school to work on my projects and whatever consultations to begin with... I guess, half of this week is spent being 'medicated' and drowsy... I don't feel all that great. And, i can't even begin to complain and being like a normal proper patient and having a decent much-needed sleep. Even till now, my voice is still bad and my throat still sore...

Well, in the midst of all these, throw in a major RADIO ON-AIR PRESENTATION test (will elaborate later) and a FEATURE ASSIGNMENT WRITE-UP, which i shalln't even start on how many drafts i actually wrote and consulted but still turned out to be a mess. It's possibly the one thing that i really worked that hard on but i guess it just further reinforces the blatant and jarring fact: I'm not cut out to be a writer and i am no journalist... probably a wannabe and i would rather be none then. I'm not there and not in the middle... That's quite depressing.It's like having those fanciful and great ideas but when written, it's been thrown into the gutter just with one flush. And, the worse in all these is that i actually love writing and still do but just not up to it. that's how bad.

And, now as promised, elaboration on the radio presentation... A bunch of nerves and jitters will probably cover what i have to say about the 'live' scale of the test.... Beginning with the practices a day before the actual one, which i screwed up totally due to an overrun that cannot be explained ont the 2 tries... Believe me when i say i have absolute faith in my counting because i have 3 people counting for me too and its accurate... But, well... let's just say it made me panic and keep thinking about this the whole night.... AND, today is the big letter day, which i hoped that i will at least pass and the timings to be right... The hands shaking as i fade-up the music and the words i rushed through... FINALLY, i have to say this: I PULLED THROUGH!!! Phew... It's as if a big stone is lifted off my shoulders and i can finally breathe already.... the minute i see the second hand reach 12.

Cliche but still i hav got to say this: Both of these finally ended.. a moment of life again before the clockworks get into another routine for next week's killer projects...

I know i have to perservere and really work for it... I have to better balance drama and schoolwork, which i am doing ever so badly now.. i feel really bad for missing on sessions this week but my vocals are not cooperating and the clasp on my throat is still sore. i know i should go even then but i just feel really bagged down by medication and sleep deprivation (which i know many will have). I promise next week, with or without the voice, i will be present. i want to be committed and should be setting a good example. I fail in doing so. Don;t think i don;t feel guilty.. i do. It's just sometimes.. i don't really voice it out... but, despite all these... i still want to make this production a success because it's a promise!

I wish i can be better. i wish i can do better. i wish everything will smooth its creases.
I wish more.
Can I?

It's really been a... time.

2007-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

School's been 'great'... Yea,you get it. its totally ripping every sane person apart. But, i guess, after 3 semesters, it's kind of expected. well, i shall not complain about projects since its already been done every sem. But, well, just to say its all been a rollercoaster ride. Even when i'm now in the lib, its also been a 'work-experience'... want some rest? oh well, forget it!

Well, when i have the time, i'll post a much longer and nicer post... but, thats for now.
Ok, this is bad.

The start of another one...

2007-10-14T01:08:00.000-07:00

Summary of my 7 weeks (chronological order... haas):

1) Went for some interview at a tuition agency and yea, got it but the job starts just as school is going to reopen. So, it's kind of a part-time sort of job. However, after much consideration, i rejected the job offer due to the expected load of school work that is 'going to be bestowed' upon me when the new semester knocks.

2) Tues and fri spent in school, for PSF sessions. So, actually i have been back to school so so often that it doesn't even really feel like a semestral break and a new beginning tmr. But, no complaints here because the sessions are actually quite funny. Well, one will just have to see how the grandfather hobbles, how the banglah speak in some 'new language', how the senile old lady farts in directed directions, how Maria speaks in her filipino accent, how ah boy fears the grandather and finally how the teacher invents some new 'right hand day'...

3) Attended one wedding dinner of my cousin. It's a good venue with good food and all but well... it's more of a smaller setting as compared to the more elaborate one explained in the previous entry. And, the smaller setting means 20 plus tables, which is not small at all. But, well... there's the factor of comparing and contrast especially since 2 cousins having their wedding dates so close.

4) Went for another interview and yea, got it too. But, this time round, i stuck out with this job. The company DynamicAsia Marketing is certainly a dynamic co. never to be underestimated. Well, i guess i have also explained in detail about my job scope in one of the previous entries. But, just to recap: DONATION TICKETS. It's really a different experience and totally new from all my previous job experience. Some call it buzz marketing or rather 'word-of-mouth' and it made me talk to every single person on the street, be confident to close the sales and being thick-skinned is also a trait not to be missed. Well, so much for that but the reason i've yet to really quit is that i kind of like the environment there. The people are quite friendly and even though i am there just for one short week of 6 days, i must say: "thanks guys! for helping me, for motivating me and all... i will come back if i can".

5) The rest of the time is spent on outings, cramming drama serials and shopping sprees. It's a time for catching up on lost sleep (I slept till almost noon everyday and now when i look at my timetable and finad that i have all the morning classes... hmm... pray that i will be able to wake up in time... haas.). During the school period, there's hardly time for shopping or just hanging out with friends so i guess this is really a good time to do all of the above.

In conclusion... ok, i am not writing some out-of-the-zone essay titled: "How i spent my holidays", but well, to sum it all up: Satisfied but hoping for more!!! Well, who doesn't? Time is quite a wonder because just when you are enjoying yourself and letting up and all, it pulls you back to earth and SCHOOL STARTS! So, that's that.

Oh and finally if ever i disappoint any of you guys in whatever i have said or done, i feel a need to apologise and pleases let me know what i can do to make it better because sometimes i am not quite sensitive to stuff and needs things to be spelt out. well, this is just what i feel so don't read too much into this... haas.

Over.
Done.
Gone with the wind.

p.s. 8am class next day. wake up at 530. GREAT! not.

Weddings...

2007-10-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

9 cars.
Amongst them, 2 sports car.
9.15am.
Loud honks from each of the car.
Followed by lous "zooms" from the sports cars.
8 bridesmen and 8 bridesmaids.
A traditional tea ceremony.
In a small-neighbourhood called Hougang.

This is exactly the scenario of my cousin's wedding, which i attended just yesterday. The enormity of the whole "bride-fetching" and tea ceremony is totally beyond what i've thought of. Granted, this is my first time participating in this ceremonious event but a total of 16 bridesmaids and bridesmen is really something in itself. Who do you fathom such an entourage?

The moment where the bridegroom entourage reached the bride's house was coupled with lots of bargaining for a bigger red packet, games where the bridegroom and hos entourage has to do before being let into the house and lots of singing... And, one of the 'games' the bridegroom has to play includes singing a love song to the bride from the carpark area. That's like 7 floors! Now, do you feel the incredulity, just like I do? But, yea.. he completed all of the above mentioned and ferried the bride away in his splitting-red and alluring open-top sports car.

The moment of bliss and love, watched on by relatives and friends who gave their well-wishes to the beautiful couple.

40 tables later,
wedding dinner at a hotel,
3 loud but amicable shouts of "Yum Sengs",
the champagne 'popping',
cutting of the five-tier wedding cake,
the round of sumptuous fare,
and lots of phototaking...

"They are pronounced as husband and wife."
find this line familiar? Look below.

"I pronounce you Chuck and Larry."
haas.

yea... that't it. It all ended at 11 plus. But, the new couple shall now take on a new chapter in their lives, together.

And, that's the second wedding I hav attended in this short holiday period. What do I say? If it's me, I would choose somethign simpler, not as glamourous, not as grandeur, not as big-scale, not as tedious and something towards a lighter note. I would want something by the beach, with lapping waves as my 'wedding march' and a simple buffet banquet where guests will just mingle around and enjoy the wide selection of food. I would only want close friends and relatives to grace the inaugural event and not some far-off relatives and friends whom i don't even recognise their faces.

But,if i can, if i will, i would just want a simple ceremony on top of the hill, in Andalucia, just my partner and me. And, throw in a couple of flamenco dancers and country music.

That's is if i can.
And, if my parents don't slaughter me and disown me.
Till then, i guess there's no point dreaming,
since wedding is so far off my beaten track now.

A bondage.
A committment.
A marriage.

OutcomesII

2007-09-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

Sequel: Work

I went to work. for one week. ok, rein that laughter that is threatening to explode because i did not say i quit. I am still on the job though the piority is now shifted to PSF's upcoming production. Wonder what this almighty job i have? Think no firther and look no further because lo and behold, unveiling... Selling donation tickets! ok, once again it's not the mediacorp glamourous career nor the executive in business suit kind, which fall into the category of the most desirable jobs that people 'claim to yearn for'. They do not understand that these jobs are not some swanky, waltz into the office just before noon with sashimi on the desk and manicure done 'bee-you-tee-fulll-lee'. A friend once said to me: "Every job has it's pros and cons. No job is perfectly-tailored for the individual. "

It's quite true right? I mean yea, you have to like the job too. Like a relationship takes two to clap. A job and the jobseeker also shares the similar bond. It's no use pushing yourself mentally and physically for a job that you have no liking for and even to the extent of repulsion. This will just take you no where.

In life, try everything at least once and live the moment happily. Why bother getting scrunched up over some unhappiness and let it ruin your day? In the end, you are just getting cross with yourself... This is what i will not do.

So, even though my job is not even near to glamourous or ritzy, i still think its ok. Though admittedly, today i went to work being hard-up and decisive about my decision to quit as the promised one week is up and i need to attend to PSF sessions ans stuff. I even prepared my well-rehearsed script that i wan preparing to launch on my boss but... things changed!

And, i did not quit. Want to know the factors involved? haas... such a teaser! Ph, why are you doing this? ok... enough crapping.

Number 1: Someone's words of encouragement.

Number 2: A bunch of colleagues who kept persuading me not to quit.

Number 3: The close-knit feeling amongst these people.

Number 4: The flexibility and 'originality' of the job.

Number 5: The little dough.

Number 6: The company's culture and its people.

Yea, though i must say this company is really made up of people just like you and me. They are all almost the same age as me, some younger or older by a few years. So, i guess it's kind of easier to relate and all? That's just my analogy with no back-up research...

Confusion...

<>

What i like is not reflected there.
What i admired is just a facade.
The signs are soft and flickering.
But, i guess that's just my own wishful thinking...

Because i guess there's always been that zero in between.

It's just too far off the beaten track.
Not what i always wanted.
Did my expectations change with that?
Or is it just a moment of folly and immaturity?

Please give me a sign!

- Sorry, just trying to be cryptic and all wise- sounding.

Outcomes...

2007-09-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

I am such a procrastinator when it comes to blogging and writing everything down. I don't really think of myself as one before this because I am never one for being late. Ask any of my fellow classmates or friends.. I am quite punctual, though not really say on-the-dot punctuaity but not exactly those that warrants for one to keep calling and being diverted to the voicemail sort. Well, but i guess this just applies to anything school-related or work-related. I am quite a lapper for authority. Call me timid or whatever other unkind names you can think of because it doesn't even bother me. As long as i think what I do is right, so be it. The rubbish chute is where all those unkindly remarks shall go.

And, now while we are at the topic of nasty comments and unkindly remarks, let's delve in further about more 'serious' topics. But, note that it's not exactly on the path of nasty comments now. Ok, i must admit i do veer off-track once in a while, as do all my writing when it goes unplanned. I just pen down anything i can think of at 'press-time'! haas. Stuff it!

Results
The 'R' word is the one students are feverish with excitement, knee-deep in worries and sleepless with anxiety with. When the semester comes to a closure and all the exams and final projects are done with, the same scenario that will always be recurring over the years will be the "yeas!" , " Phews!" and " Come on let's go hit the malls/ clubs!" AND not to forget the more negative " Oh my, I am so going to have 10 or 20 marks off..." , " Argh, I did not get the correct answer... " and so on and so forth. If there's anything students fear as much as getting the rod, I would say it's this 'R' word.

This sem's results. Some will be jumping with joy while others will be sobbing with misery. Some will exclaim at the ridiculity of their good grades while others might be dumbfounded by the bad grades they get despite the amount of effort put it. I am kind of seating on the fence this time round; definitely not good grades but yet within my expectation. That instant before the results were sent to us, I prayed for the miracle, which never arrived. I am not downright sad and all but well, I accept it and just learnt to live with it. Disappointment is inevitable but if i recognised that I have really worked my butt off for these grades, I guess that's enough.

No doubt, it changed my dreams just that much because of the unattainable goal i set for myself. But, nevertheless i won't give up. Because, a wise woman once said: "Perservearance is the key to success."

Who's the wise one?

You are speaking to yours truly.

Hold your pukes first because I still have a sequel entry to this post as i don;t want it to be a long and wordy one.
Though it is already.

Thank you...

2007-09-06T00:20:00.000-07:00

Well, the camp came to an end. 3 days 2 nights. Personally, i think we kind of pulled it off. The members are interacting and bonding. They are having fun. Granted, the food is horrib-leh. But, yea, it's fun, though i wished i stayed back because the journey to and fro is really taxing and teadious. What's more? I totally missed out on the night walk. argh. oh wells. reckon that's that. It's still fun and totally worth it.

And, the special mention yesterday night before i 'trekked' back home for the night: A really ORIGINAL present from the whole club for my belated birthday. haas... it's really belated and it caught me off guard when you guys started singing birthday song for me. haas. I even wanted to join in the singing and was looking around for the intended person. haas... But, yea. thanks anyway. A well-received surprise! Not to mention, the really hmm... THOUGHTFUL gift? how 'thoughtful' of you guys to be way too CONCERNED about my studies? haas.... ok.. i am so not going to even mention what are the stuff you guys gave me. Though yea yea, i appreciate it. Especailly the wishes by each and everyone of yoou on the covers. haas.. And, just from that i realised i have so many namesake. hmm... i wonder why.

Oh, and i must say this: THANK YOU shawn and andrew for this *ahem* idea. haas... can't believe you guys actually thought of it. But to show my appreciation,

thank you to:
Melissa
Jeeva (Broom..)
Faizal (Grumpy bear)
Timothy (Sarah)
yiwen
Amber
Gloria
Shafik
Jama
Aysha
Brian
Wella
Kash (Broadway)
Nadia (Chronicles of nadia)
Kim (Maria)
Noor (beloved president)
Shawn (chimology)
Shron (ShronTheGreat... or so she claims!) Opps.

ok... that's one helluva long list. My hearfelt apppreciation. Gah.

And, suddenly i thought of him.

A new beginning from the old...

2007-08-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

Now, everything has come to an end. Projects. Exams. And what not. I bid my goodbye to the long nights rushing DEADLINES. I bid the times where we run around the central district of singapore to cover events. I bid the helpful community centres who rendered me assistance in those wonderful moments. I bid the times spent in the Tvprod studios, freezing our butts off in the arctic-like climates (even polar bears have fur and blubber... ). I bid the times spent polishing our advertising campaign, designing those 10 over creatives, putting together the 160 ppt slides (Yes, and you may exclaim over here, but its true.) I bid the really cool spanish classes and photgraphy lessons, which i admit were the ones i am most enthused about. I bid the mrm lessons in the business block and the terminologies that is a killer. I bid the times where we struggled with the MM business plan and i fried my brain dry with all those figures (yes, the queen bee will laugh here.). And, finally i bid goodbye to all the wonderful lecturers who will not be teaching us next sem. Thanks for being such a ball of laughter! And, i dont need to say goodbye but rather thanks to all the people who helped made this all possible and tolerating with my 'moments of BEARABLE jokes' and being such fuddy-duddies. gah.

This sounds like a damn long speech. Maybe cordelia might even consider grading me for it.

i spent my birthday with my advertising text. This must be the 'best' birthday ever. Nah. I mean its not that bad, at least i thank the 30 people who wished me one way or another and the 10 of u who msg-ed me quite on the dot. i was similing at the phone the whole time i was studying late into the night because not of all the weird msg-es but rather you ppl who remembered. Just when i was struggling with my advert text and getting exasperated with all the hundred over pages i have yet to lay my eyes on. yes, i am 18. But, i guess its just another year.

I want something different this year. I have yet to fulfil my dream of travelling to Spain. I wonder how it's like just exploring the grounds and not follow a strict regime or even a tour group. It will just be me and maps. Well, one word for it will be backpacking.

I made a promise to myself: to go to Spain when i turn 21. yes, its 3 years from now but i will need to prepare, to be financially stable and to be independent. And, my itinerary, food supplies, right clothing, AND language. I give myself 3 years and i'm out of here: the cage. I m not saying Singapore is a boring place but rather i want to experience the world outside of her. Spain is just the country, which is worlds apart from here. The different culture, people and traditions.

Will I be able to do that? To just pack and leave?

I just know the desire is surmounting.
Because i need it.
And, i want it.

When the going gets tough and lull... ironic.

2007-08-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

Imagine this scenario:
A group of us having newswriting meeting/consultation in the room, at Level 7 FMS office.
We were hungry and deadbeat.
Rushing our newspaper design, for some (yea, my poor designer!)
We want FOOD!
ANd, we got FOOD! From where you wonder?

From our dear lecturers who has a buffet farewell thing and gave us the food.
Wonder what the menu contains then? Look no further:
- A plate of Mrs. Sng's carrot cake with prawns
- Another huge plate of fried rice and fish
- 3 bowls of 'chocolate fondue' by Mr.Tay
- dessert of a tub of honydew sago
- And, we went back for second round.

Haas... How good is it? How lovely they are? In bliss.... Just when we were knee-deep in newswriting and needed a breather. Just when we were hungry. Just when i was bored! (Sorry, i should help more!)

You know what's the difference between secondary school teachers and polytechnic lecturers? Well, for one: (not because of the food...) they are more interactive and laidback. It's more like a "friend-friend" situation, though we still have to treat them with due respect. But, you get what i mean. It's like they know to have fun outside of classes and joke around with us.

I don't see my secondary school teachers do that! Though, i must say i do miss them. After all, they have been my mentors for the past 2 years or so. And, just as suddenly we graduated, it seems all ties are severed and a portion of our being is left in the school.

Yes.
It's tough to meet datelines and spend almost every waking moment doing school work. But, (yes, you might find me insane) sometimes in the midst of it all, there's actually that moment where i feel glad to be in MCM or rather to be in NP or in PSF. Whatever it is, it's good to be where i am and if ever you would want me to choose all over again, i wouldn't want no where else.

I am feeling light (for now.) because projs are over (sorta).
Now, 2 pressing exams!
And, signed, sealed, delivered! I am ready to start my holidays...

I am now almost 18 in a few more days.
Though its sad i can't enjoy, but well, it's like a closure.
Time flies.
Many things come to an end:
I lose some, i gained some.

You are sorely missed.

The Not-So-Peaceful world we call our home.

2007-07-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

This past week was not a sane ride. It's full of bumpy roads and skewed paths. Every step I took seemed to end somewhere terrible or in some godforsakken place.
The feeling is horrible and ripped me apart inside out. Many a times, I feel like screaming or just shutting myself away from this 'dump' of a world, that's suppposed to be this hot, tropical island but turns out like some wretched demon-controlled world. Yes, i use these strong, provactive words but besides doing this, I seriously dunno what else I can do to ease that bout of strong emotions within me.
I don't want to be negative because I will seem like such a hypocrite doing it. I consoled people and tried to cheer them up. But, when actually i am the one who needs some cheering up. This is not really about stress because which sensible being in this "work-dominated" world of ours don't have?
Well, it might be the people. It might be the events. It might just be nothing and i'm just feeling rotten. I don't usually sink to that level because i believe every thing has a way out of the pothole. i still do believe. But, just not this week i guess. 'Cause it doesn't show me any mercy that every self-respecting being would have pleaded for.
-----------------------------------
You think you are wrong in your ways.
I think I am too.
But, neither of us would make the first move,
to apologise.

It's because of that incident, ain't it?
It's because of that fateful night, not?
You caused a stir;
hollered at the top of your voice.
I stood stunned.
But, i recovered from the initial shock
And, everything seemed so surreal.
I don't even understand why it's happening.

I didn't think i was wrong.
Like every hormone-raging 17yr old,
I stood up.
And, I stopped short.
Because explanations were not necessary anymore.

The battle ensued.

I lost.
You lost.

But, what's left hanging:
A strained relationship.
And, a pair of strangers.

p.s. ignore this post. I m not even sure what i'm writing. This is quite emo. well, one can be granted the freedom of being emo once in a while, right? esp when things go awry.

A lull...

2007-07-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

Actually, I hav no idea what this entry will be about. So, a large neon sign flasjing: DO NOT CONTINUE READING!!!

Waiting to go for Tvprod class.
In this weather where i would rather stay home and pplay 'sick'. I wish. But, nah. I guess not.
Just called sistic to check for the avaliability of Dim Sum Dollies tics and alas, it's all SOLD OUT. yea, i guess its kinda last min to say come on, let's go. But, oh well.. jh only told me ytd. So, too bad. haas.. don't be too disappointed.

This is so random.

And, it has no ANGLE or whatso ever. Sorry Tommy Wee. haas.
I'm just bored and tired at the same time.
And, i hurt my foot while playing Pepsi-Cola. How? well, I stepped on myself and now my flesh tore. It has this stinging feeling whenever i moved it. And, i hav to brave the 'waters' later. Gosh. Help. And, my foot looks so red and 'feo' (ugly). plaster marks and what not. plasters help yea: by putting black marks on my leg. Thanks so much.

randomness shall end.

Ta.

Angles and right angles.

2007-07-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

Controversy sells or so they say.
Even writing a blog entry, you have to think of ANGLES.
Aren't blog supposed to be just some 'rubbish chutes' OR ' ranting dumpster'? Yea, like how i am suppossedly doing it now?
No, i'll have an angle for this entry: THE MOTIVATION.

Sometimes, just suddenly, I'll have this motivation; the urge to do something. To complete all the projs, to finish all the exams and the drive to just keep going.
Yes!

But, as sudden as this comes, it fades aways. Once the momentum is lost, there's nothing I would do about it. That's how dejected and just a deflated balloon i've became.
well, i do ponder over this. Is my drive to do well, because of something else? Am I trying to prove to someone I could do well? What am I trying to prove? And who to?

I'm lost. Temporary or so I say.

Am I just burdened down by expectations that people fix it on me?
"I expect you to do this this this...."
" So, this is my least expectation for you..."

But, ultimately I can get away if I want. It's my choice.
If I want out, I will go out.
But, there's this promise that I'll stay.
And, i'll.

What mass commers have in common...

2007-06-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

DARK EYE CIRCLES OR EYEBAGS!

Yea. You guessed it. This whole week has been a wild ride on the deep end. On Wed i had less than 3 hrs of sleep. Thurs I slept 5 hrs. the total combination of hrs i slept= 8hrs out of the 48hrs. Is it even a quarter?

But, my case is comaprably better because when i went to school on Thurs for advertising. Everyone has droopy eyes and dark circles under their eyes. They are not trying to look gothic and neither is it thick make-up. The miraculous answer for this "make-up" is sleep 2 or 3 hrs OR not sleep at all.

The cause of misery:
1) Advertising presentation, which consist of all the creatives and 100 plus slides...
2) Newswriting Assignment news report, which consists of through drafting and ANGLES
3) Tvprod not that serious but the filming, preparation and all zapped a partial of our energy

That's just for now. With the term coming to an end soon, you will see all the haevyweight projs piling on our shoulders. Shall I beg for mercy? But, that's uncalled for since it won't really help matters. Just like how i feel like screaming on wed night(Or rather thurs morning) while putting together the 100 plus slides, with a lagging computer and to edit my creatives. It's so late but there's this urge for me to just shout:

"HELP!"

Crazy but true. That's how my life is for this one week. You bet how glad i am now that the week came to an end. That is not thinking about the tests and individual proj to hand in next week.
I'll force myself to throw this piece of information to the back of my mind. At least till I've finished watching JUMP! - A korean play on physical theatre.

It's tomorrow and shawn just reminded me the time (though more like he asked me... haas..). Sorry Nadia, forgot what time you told me. Ops! But, yea... At least it's a break.

A wrap!

I send a prayer to please let me survive this hectic and "mind-gobbling" semester.

feel like sleeping...

2007-06-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

Spanish and hispanic is different.
I learnt this today.
oh well. Spanish is really cool... i m serious. haas.

And.
I feel like typing in single lines today.
I'm really tired. 2 weekends of long hibernation doesn't really cure the sleep deprivation.
Arr...

I have still got countless of projs. Now, to all who wants to come to mcm, beware.
Not that it's not fun, but the price is smacked in your face.
I still feel like complaining.
But, i shall not turn into a naggy old granny.
Better get back to my advertising, which is staring at me straight in the face.
Arr...

This feels so much like a "monosyllabic" piece of writing.
Just suits how i am feeling now.
mono.
Asi Asi.
(That means so-so in espanol)

Shall sleep early later.
Ta.
Adios.

It's over...

2007-06-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

The measly 2 weeks term-break is officially over in a day's time. And, welcome to the world of projects, exams and 'torture'. is it even a break? someone correct me if I'm wrong... It's more like "I give you time to finish up all the projects in time for submission". Adding on to that, the last week of school, I went back to school almost every day except for Wed, which I'm held up at some event of sorts.

But, the best part of it all is: The holiday ended with a BANG last night, with our first production TOP OF THE WORLD. After all the rehearsals, the glitches, the time, the frution of the hard work paid off! Yesterday night, it was almost felt like a grand theatre experience. Granted, it's only at LT 26, but the ambience, the audience, "it's just... MAGIC" (Whose line is this? haas...)Thanks to the cast for all the hard work and effort you guys put into the whole performance. *Triple cheers* And, not forgetting the crew, which pull off all the technicalities of the night. And, everyone who contributed to this success in one way or another. it's really fabulous. We pulled off the whole thing, depite the short amount of time, the projects and the clashing schedules.

A good performance is made up of a good and committed cast, crew and audience. without the audience, will there even be a performance? So, to all who's there to support, thank you.

Dennis, I hope you are proud of us, wherever you are.

We'll continue to reach the TOP OF THE WORLD.

And you are not here...

2007-06-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

It's our minor production 1 tmr. Or rather i mean today. Since, it's 12.15 now. An official THE OTHER DAY.

And, you are not here.

It just feels weird that we had a production without you. Just weird that you are not there trying to calm us down before the performance. Weird that every step we took contains a trace of your presence. Remembered the first production we had, or rather only production with you. The fun, the fluster, the sweat and 'phelgm'. I thought back to how you tried ever so patiently to make me put more emotions into my character. To how you teach us the games. To the rehearsals and meetings we have before the final one. It all adds up.

Now that you are not here. We all miss you ever so and your trademark comments will always infiltrate our conversations. But, we want to show you: PSF is capable of being the TOP OF THE WORLD. I want you to be proud of our achievements, albeit a small one.

PSF will go a long way. Please believe in us. People say promises are meant to be broken, but i thought otherwise. Because, if there are no promises in this world, won't hearts be broken? Tear ducts dry? There will not be happiness in this world. Just because nobody values promises. I won't give up. I believe nobody would. Or so I hope.

Sometimes, believing is all that matters. Because, there is hope.
Nadia, i agree with what you said today. people shouldn't die. Nobody should leave this world.
Because there will not be heartache following the departure.

---------------------------------------------------

Ok, i shouldnt go on like this.
Because a production is suppossed to be a happy event. Dennis always says... ENJOY. Serena always says... DON'T STRESS. Because a production is a joyous occassion.
Because it is the fruit of our labour.

Three Cheers to TOP OF THE WORLD!

memories in a vault...

2007-06-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happened yesterday, but it triggered the latch to my memories and allow them to flow out. I was overwhelmed by the amount of memories that cruised through my brain matter; memories of my secondary school days. I remembered the time:

1)... wake up at the unearthly hour of the day to take 80,82 or 87 before changing to 163.

2)... being in the sardine packed bus, where you actually get to see the frontal view of what's looming up straight

3)... walking the same path everyday to school and towards the parade ground straight if we are later than usual

4)... Going to school everyday with you people.

5)... my different 'coaches' for the loathful subject MATHS( ok, not particualrly hateful...). They helped me after school in class, tutored me about the equations Mr.Song gave that i cant solve and studying with me and my tuition notes.

6)... On the topic of maths as well, i remembered attending maths after school remedials in 4E because apparently my maths can't really make the mark.

7)... The relay shoutings we have across our classes's windows when we want to convey a message across. And, how we once jokingly think that we should get a basket to deliver our messages instead. And, how the 'nice' people in my class tried to help shout too! haas...

8)... the water bombs and 'childish' games we played then.

9)... the truckload of comprehensions Mr.Mok gave us; the ten-yr series. And, how sometimes copying is in place. Ops. But, the compositions are the best, the writing and all.

10)... When O' levels is on the cards, we have all those after school stay-in sessions in the library to pore through the ever-thick textbooks and TYS. And, yes... maths is the topic which I stayed overtimes most.

11)... And, there are those night sessions, where the school is opened till late at night for us to study. And, yes. I went back a couple of times: Bio consultation, maths consultation and what not. I remembered the din we created, running from one end to the canteen to the next at times.

12)... the PE sessions, where we played Captain's Ball with the guys and gawked at how they manage to get the ball spiralling from one end of the court to the next and just dropped it into the goal. Not to mention, NAPFA where we encouraged each other to jump the standing broad jump and chin-ups.

13)... Oh, and i have no idea why but quite a portion of my memories came from MATHS. Like now, i rem how Mr.Tan coached us after school, outside the staff room. His ever-patient style is really appreciative.

14)... And, how could i forget chinese lessons where we copied the sentences Ms.Lee gave us and really memorised them for O'levels.

15)... And, the hug she gave me when i got back my chinese results. That moment was just a whirlwind of emotions. everyone was going around congratulating one another and it's the first time when tears are freeflow.

16)... Ms Neo, our lovely form teacher who looks stern at times but can actually take quite a couple of jokes. She 'mothers' us and is involved in all our class activities.

17)... the mural painting we did, the times where we decorated the classrooms and the festivals and occassions. And, how every chinese new year celebration ends with someone peeling the oranges and eating them right in the hall. And, the times where we came back on sats, blast the music and paint the backboard in the classroom.

18)... the rehearsals we have in the music room for ELDDS. the performance on stage. The syf days in AC Barker and the happiness that ensues as we were awarded Silver. And, the drama camp in YMCA, which is the best i hav ever had.

19)... the walks to compasspoint from school. And, the hordes of students we can always find there after school.And, where teachers tried( emphasize on tried) to ban us from going.

20)... And, the bus ride back from CP.

That's all. I just missed those moments. it's as if 2 years is too fast. we are thrown into the real world too soon, too furious. but, no matter what memories will still stay and friends i have i have met in my sec school days will still continue to remain my great pals. At least we've met, there is no room for regrets.

Argh... Someone tell me this is HOLIDAY.

2007-06-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, screaming aloud is good?

Sometimes, having a good bawl will make you feel better.

But, it's in the middle of the night.. where even the slightest bit of noise will wake my whole family out AND get the neighbours dailing the triple-9 they so like, typically neighbours? So, what is the best way to release the mounting level of stress (Or yea.. PRESSURE) and open the floodgates? NO... i will control. Aren't I always controlling? I don't like to kick up a fuss in public or bawl my eyes out in full frontal view of anyone. I mean its just me. I don't feel good being the centre of attraction. Ok, and here you will pause and wonder: "Then, why do I even join drama? Perform? Act? Being in the limelight?" well, reason being theatre is a different thing. Acting is a different matter. If the situation warrants that i need to be in the limelight or act, well.. why not? This is what theatre is allabout. It's live. It's real. Granted, i m not a good actor, neither am i a prima donna... But, there are many othe roles...

Ok.. wierd.. the topic veered to this.. haas.. ok... restraint.

Projects and projects. Argh. feel like complaining but its gonna be soooo boring. shall not do that. shall talk about my DREAM SPANISH TRIP... Ever since we heard that those taking french as an IS module get to go to France, we are thinking of ESPANOL- THE DREAM VACTION! Because we are taking Spanish when school reopen... all those hyperventilation... arrr.... excitement... the foreign tongue... BUT, there's this strong feeling that it's only those taking french who get to go... ( kill the bad omen). I WANT TO FLY.... TO ESPANOL, NO LESS. i don care how demanding i sound.. haas... do i? oh well.. all for espanol! It's been my dream since i started liking the language. Imagine the picturesque scenery, the architecture, the arts... the people... EVERYTHING.

And, to top it off, if i get to go.. it will be my first ever flight! I know this sounds really dumb. But, i have never never been on a flight, grace the seats, pass the gates, say hello to the flight attendent and eat the microwaved food. This will be my first step to travelling to prepare me for BACKPACKING across the globe. haas...

*fantasy again*

ESPANOL does have the power to make one swoon and just drop everything into the abyss.

ok, enough about that. Shall move on to Live The Dream auditions. Went to help out 2 sundays and it's really rewarding to a certain extent. cant reveal too much if not there will be some copyrights and some legal restrictions... So, one thing to say is... we saw Utt. And, he's so totally not stuck-up and all like how people stereotype a celeb. haas.. Good job! It's really an experience working behind the scenes and all... A different perspective and being in a real media environment.

That's what it's all about.

The gruelling Term one!

2007-06-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's been eons since i last blogged and people hav been complaining that my blog is now filled with cobwebs and what nots... But, you should be here physically, mentally and emotionally to actually understand what took me so long to pen my thoughts and translate everything into an actual entry. Let me tell u: It's PROJECTS PROJECTS and more PROJECTS! I'm not being anal or whatsoever but BEING A MASS-COMMER= NO LIFE=TIRED= PRESSURE ( And, Mr. clement still claimed that pressure is good and we 'love' pressure.. Argh..)

Oh well, i shall'nt turn this long-awaited entry (haas...) into some complaint letter to the GRC or MOE because it will seriously not be worth it to be some gargoyle and moan over what's not to be changed right?

Ok, fresh start on a fresh sheet of paper (not literally of course, but just the next para). So, what's been happening to me? HAve i been living under the rocks for these months? Days? Weeks? frankly speaking, you can hardly see me prowling the streets OR beneath the tons of bargains during the GSS. that's not assuming that i do not want to. I mean, hello, which self-respecting female don't like to shop. Ok ,granted i am not for crowds, compulsive shopping nor a 'get something wich i don't need to'. BUT, it's the pleasure of being out in the streets, being a shopper ducking into shops with flashing neon lights that beckon( exaggerating!), being a clothes-hanger, making the fashion statement carrying bold prints even in hideous colours. And, mostly it's just FREEDOM: the choice to do what i want. No restrictions. No time constraint. None. Zilch.

You'll probably say: BULLSHITING.

But, well... whatever. It's just me and my opinions. I don't obstruct and neither do i construct( ok.. kind of rhymes?). Don't be mistaken. Though i spend a good portion of my entry basically dishing the dirt on the misery of projects and the nitty-gritty details, I still LOVE what i am doing.

You'll probably say: CRAP.

i chose this path myself and i have to complete it either way. I'm not forced into it. I chose it. And, I'm happy at what i have done, the great pals i have made, the things i have learnt ( a definite improvement to my general knowledge, no doubt.) and just being there done that matter-of-fact thing. Starting of this school term, it's a whole new class, new environment and new people. well, and i have SURVIVED it and enojoying myself with those new fellas in my current class... Couldn't be better.. haas... And, most things will eventually find their way out. So, why bother being bent out of shape over it? It ain't worth nothing to rack your brain over some issue when some others dont even care about. or so i think.

I guess what really made me break down is just work. I don't normally break down, at least not in school. But, i hate last-minute stuff and the pressure it causes. So, I guess that incident in wk5 is it. There are ups and downs in everything you do. So, i guess that's just my down. What are my ups this term? Those are as mentioned above.

PSF. They have a be a topic in my entry, no doubt. I think i have yet to really write about the new members who joined us this new acad year. the turnout has been great in the start. Now, i'm not too sure but being positive helps and i believe that those who stayed on are the ones who will bring PSF's namesake to glory( ok, exaggeration). At least, they are the warriors? Well, a lot has happened. i'm not sure if it's all entirely good or bad. It's more of a mixture, really. we have compelling plans and activities in our hindsight. We are moving on to our first production in just 2 weeks. I guess time is not really by our side but i believe. And, believing is the strongest power one can ever possess.

And, just yesterday. We celebrated Shron's birthday. Happy birthday girl! The cake is a thank-you from me for being such a good friend to me (excluding all the bullying.. haas.. kidding!). Although yesterday kind of made me miss Dennis. Remember the time during Jo's birthday and he was there. ok, sorry. But, i believe he'll be happy that we are doing well.

That's all. Its already very long. And, i don't think anyone would really read but it's more for me, really.
p.s. dennis, you're still missed. But, be happy!
p.p.s. The first term is over! Yipee!

personality tests

2007-04-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

Firstly, i must thank Audrey for introducing me to this bout of personality tests because i was bored stiff. Well, went to look at her blog at ta-daah... So, anyway thanks audrey!

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.
You know that love isn't like a greeting card...
Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.

You are the best of both worlds
Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.
Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic?

I don't know how accurate it is but its kind of fun just to do it.

And, i actually have a japansese name! Too bad they have nothing that shows my spanish name...

My Japanese name

Your Japanese Name Is...

Yama Matsumoto

What's your Japanese Name?

Woah, there's even one on my career type. Well, i think some are true, esp those parts on the NOT jobs for me! I can do these jobs but not for long. I want excitement and i don't think an office job is going to warrant any excitement?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Woah, this is like a horoscope test but its called an element test. So thats that.

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.

Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.

You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Lastly, i think the last test is accurate to some points but not in some. Like the last 2 points, well its true that i don't like to commit now but i can't flirt for nuts!!! SO, its an irony!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Not exactly the best of attitudes...

2007-04-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i really feel ashamed at my identity of a Singaporean. Granted it's not most of the times but at moments like the last.

Went cycling and met some people who spit profanities at the rate of a bullet train, except worse. yea, my friend rammed her bike into theirs. But, Hello, it's an accident for goodness sake. yet, the couple cursed and sweared for all their worth. They blamed her for not looking where she's going and getting them into scarches and what's not. However, did they even stop to think RATIONALLY? If she's not looking at the path she's riding, what about you guys? You guys claimed to be "on the lookout" or rather "concentrating" but if that's the case, why didnt you swerve? Furthermore, the road is wide and flat; no slopes or any obstrusive object. If you see her coming your way, you can always go another direction. So stop pushing the fault around. We apologised profusely and admittedly we were in the wrong but are profanities really necessary? We were sorry for the injuries we caused but do you have to 'reek of sarcasm'?

After which i sped for the nearest bicycle rental shop for help. Look at the response i received:
" We can't help you because the bikes are not from our shop".

After much pleading and explaining how we have people injured,

" you ride all they way to the shop la and ask for help. very fast, only 25 minutes".
( and they were jesting and jeering at how the shop has this buy one hour, free one hour and the free hour is for us to roll the bike back.)

I explained that people are bleeding... They replied

" Then you ride faster if not they will finish bleeding already".
( with laughs joined in by a fellow worker from the same FAMILY )

So, looking at the above 2 instances, i feel utterly disgusted by how singaporeans behaved.

Yes, i am a singaporean too but to say this is really the limit.

fulfilling my dreams...

2007-03-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

The day of the cremation. The day of the release of our semester results.

I remembered the aim we set for our results. I fulfilled my aim, my promise- got the results you would have been happy about. I am glad but when i thought back to how you will never be there to see us exchange our new aims and report our results... well.. its just not the same anymore. Don't get me wrong. I am satisfied with my results but i guess the joy is not whole because of your non de presence. Yet, i believe you are there watching and you would have been proud of me too right? I want to continue working hard, fulfilling my dreams and promises to you. I want to make you swell with pride at the achievements of PSF. I want to be able to pursue my dreams and live my life to the fullest because you did it and so will I.

These past few days were clouded with memories: the games we played during sessions, the toilet-paper-made-sash awarded to us for the 'news commercial' we made about you, the various names you had, our first session, the way you directed Blueprint and just being you, yourself. I'm writing it all down so that might there be a day where these memories slip away, i can always look back at what i have written. I know as time passes, bits and pieces will get lost in transition. The memories i have will shrink each day. No matter how desperate i try to retrieve these memories, i know a portion of it will trickle away. Yet, i know there will still be just a locket to lock a portion of it away in my life. As long as i know i've the chance to meet you in life, i guess the rest doesnt matter anymore. If there's one thing in my life i know is a kosher, it would have to be finding a steadfast friend in you. Thank you, Dennis.

A dream is not only a fictional shaft of light from our sleep, but a reminder of the past and a motivation for the future. I will work hard to attain my goals and to gratify myself in the snippets of everyday life.

I will because i believe.

Final goodbyes...

2007-03-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

I said my final goodbye to you, knowing that you are in a better place. At least I am comforted in the sense that you are not suffering anymore, that you are rested well and that you lived your life to the fullest. You made a difference in my life and this will never be erased even when you are no longer around.

Before today, I chose not to believe that you are really gone.

I composed myself not to cry because Dennis will want a happy farewell. And, I did not cry. Many times, tears threatened to spill especially when I saw the article and when I talked to your mother. But, I controlled. However, when I walked out of the wake, I kept thinking of all the good times we had and how cruel it was to have it all taken away in a blink of an eye.

Emotions swarm in my head and memories flooded my brain. I am sad but I am not one with expressing myself. I don’t know how and when to. Yet, on the train ride back, a tear spilled.

And, you are really gone.

Dennis, I hope you are happy wherever you are now.

In loving Memory of Dennis Tan...

2007-03-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

He’s not only a director…
Or an instructor.
He’s neither a somebody
Nor just a someone there on every Tuesdays and Fridays.

He’s more of a friend…
A good friend
And a close friend.

But why do you have to leave us just like that?

Blueprint:
He guided me in my first step to take on an emotional role. He never fails to comment on the lack of emotions and the display of affection and lack thereof. “ More emotions…” he said. When we rehearse at the sauna-of-a-clubhouse, when we rehearse at some old classroom and even just some open space… And, he teased relentlessly about Ian, and me, which brought about a whole truckload of after-effects riding on the wave.
I wished he could do that again. I wished he could tease me all over again.

Rehearsals and sessions:
Disagreements exist and emotions frayed but we persevered. “ I want to ta-bao chicken chop and [the infamous] green apple”. “ It’s ok…” “Haze, Haze go away, little Dennis wants to play”. I missed all these. I missed your snickers, your lame jokes, your laughs, the space- covering, the heads and toes game and even how every time a new member joins us, the introduction will always begin with name, course and whether we are single or attached. The easy banter we had and the laughter we shared, will there even be a next time?

Meetings:
The meeting we had at your house. I complained about how far it was and almost got lost. Can I get lost again? This time I’ll not complain. I promise.
Dan Dan. Remember how you introduced your precious friend to us? The friend you have to go sleep with every night? Is he by your side now?
You always try to come for our meetings. No matter how busy you are, you never fail to make time for us; attending our meetings and giving your suggestions. Even when you are on treatment, even when you are not feeling well because of the haze, or even when you are not supposed to be out and about, you came to our meetings. We appreciate what you have done for us. We really do.

Msn conversations/ SMS:
A window popped up. “ Are you busy?” or “Hi, are you tired?” or “Can we talk?”
The conversations over MSN and SMS are what made you more like a friend. I can sense the concern you have both for me and for the club. I took it for granted, thinking that you’d always be there at the next session. But alas, reality fails me.
The window “Yeah! A great 2007 countdown…” will never pop up again. My message inbox will no longer contain your messages.

When I think about it, part of me blames you for what happened. I know its wrong of me to have this opinion or thought for that matter but I just can’t help having it. I blame you for not telling anyone of us and for self-discharging. Why did you do that? Why did you lose hope in yourself? The Dennis I know is a happy, shiny person. Even when rehearsals got cancelled and plays got axed, you kept generating new ideas to push the club and raise our morale. Now, you lose that hope.

You left just like that but you did not teach us how to cope without you. You entered our lives and now you are out of it in a split second. It’s not fair to us. You can’t just enter and leave as you please. Take a look at the wounds you have left gaping wide. You never taught us how to sew them together again.

…I thought blaming you would make it easier.

I thought wrong.

The moment I’m told this devastating news, I did not cry. I did not weep. Everything seemed so surreal, as if it had all been a nightmare. I thought when I wake up the next morning, everything will be fine; you’ll still be the old you, with that eclectic brand of humour and personality. I thought back to 2 weeks ago when I last saw you. And now…

Everyone comes to our lives for a meaning. They will affect us one way or another. Here, you, Dennis Tan made that difference in my life. I will accept that you are really gone. I will be brave and not cry because I know you won’t want to see me cry. Your presence for that short one-year in my life is filled with glorious moments and halcyon times.

When you are gone, I’ll face life bravely. When you are gone, I’ll still do my part for PSF. And, when you are gone, I’ll still remember you: My director, my friend- Dennis Tan.

I miss you. We all miss you.

In loving memory of Dennis Tan.

Holidays: The bore The work.

2007-02-28T02:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i really wish for holidays to be shorter. You think i must be mad. Who wants shorter holidays? Who in the right state of mind would ask for shorter holidays? But well.. that would be me. At least i wont be straddled with this 'burden' of scouring for a job to fill the lull in the holidays; the days where i have absolutely nothing on except staying at home. I hate looking for jobs, going for interviews, flipping through Classifieds, calling and getting rejected because of contractual dates and just a whole ton of poring over the newspapers( Imagine: Thick horn-rimmed glasses peering at the words in the newspapers... DISDAIN!)

How many interviews i have gone to: FUTILE. Not exactly rejected but rather its not suitable. What with cca timings and locations?
1. some tuition coordinator
2. telemarketer
3. travel agency
4. admin
5. (just the bulk of it all...)

So, after weeks of gruelling interviews, i just stuck out on this one finale: POPULAR BOOKSTORE. Well, at least its near my house and i save on travelling time and expenses. Just got to stuck it out for one month and so... And, ta-dah... i will have school to look forth to and a whole load of shopping to do. The shopping equates to a month of slogging. Why slogging? Because my work hours are like min 10hrs per day. YES. ok, granted at least its 5 days work, inclusive of weekends. BUT, the 2 off days i have: Tues and Fris will be spent in Woodlands CC for PSF sessions. SO, to put it all in words: I am so going to turn into a HUMAN MACHINE.

* Gears clunking, rollers pushing*

And, i think by that time... i will have less than half a wink a day. oh gosh!

PSF. The session.
Lovewaves 96.6 cancelled. Various reasons for this harsh decision. reasons we shall not dwell on. Yea, throughout this whole process, sessions got axed, morale took a dip and emotions got involved. But, at least things are straightened out after a session on tues. At least we hav a solid plan for the next acad year. A load of work no doubt but if everyone is committed to push it through, i guess thats the fun in it. So all hail to the next production!

Thats bout all. Will update if i can.. considering WORK!

... starting tmr morning at 10.

Chinese New Year galore...

2007-02-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

A celebration of the 'pig' year, a season of fun, peace and prosperity. What comes to your mind when CNY is mentioned?

Red packets.
The allure of cold hard cash never fails to brighten the days of kids and adults alike. No matter how demure a lady you are or how 'buff' a guy you are, you will always fall prey to the RED gleam of red packets. Escastic is the word. Ang Pows are more of well wishes than the material meaning it carries nowadays. 2 days of chinese new year gone, let me see how many red packets i hav accumulated... Not much i guess considering i only have relatives at my father's side to visit as my mom's relatives are all non- singaporean. 10 plus plus.

In addition to the 'significance' of the wad of cash, the design of the red packet itself is also something to be applauded. From the traditional red with just some simple greetings engraved on it( or printed on it), it has since evolved into a commercialised agenda where businesses give away exquisite red packets with their company logos. Agenda setting? However, credit given to those designed for the purpose of the appearance itself and not any nonsensical 'master scheme'.

Togetherness.
It's a day for families to gather and embrace the joyous occassion. Over the past year, there might be time constraint and what's not resulting in... no meet-ups, no contact, and just seperate entity for each and everyone of the extended family. Yet, on this day, (well, it might be because of the public hols factor...) everyone comes together to catch up on the going-ons in their lives, gamble and just make merry.

Food.
Glorious food. Sumptous fare. Plush ingredients cooked in a not so regal way. The food might not be the swanky and ritzy cuisine in restaurants but the homecooked nosh we eat every other day. For me, every year on this day, i never fail to have steamboat. Its not exactly gruel nor is it swanky but at least its cooked by my granny! Sometimes, homecooked fares taste better than any other dishes in top-notch restaurants or so i feel.

What about the new year goodies? Love letters, kueh bahlu, box of ferero, cookies, prawn crackers, cashew nuts and BAH KWAH. BAH KWAH is a typical chow which you can see in almost every home you visit during CNY. People can queue for hours under glistening sun just for a few kgs of that in Chinatown. That is plain crazy since you can practically get that all over the island. I'm no food gourmet but correct me if i'm wrong, almost all taste the same to me! how different can it get?

Well, i guess that's about all to Chinese New Year excluding the nitty-gritty details to it all.

V-day special...

2007-02-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

February 14. Does this day ring a bell?

To a pair of lovers, it might mean a celebration of undying love, devotion and passion.

To a pair of married couple, it might mean a day to ‘humour’ their wives.

To a pair of young lovebirds in the early stages of the relationship, it might mean more blissful moments with this person.

To a pair of ex-es, it might mean a day for sobbing your hearts out and being all lonesome.

To stags, it might mean a wonderful get together with friends at a bar.

To businesses, it might mean the windfall of a century, what with the gifts, roses, dinners and all.

Valentine’s day might mean the world to some but may just very well be the pitfall of the other. The symbolism of this day might be of extreme importance to some but on the other hand, it might be a whole commercialized hogwash that gets businesses all waxing lyrical.

So, to ask yourself a question: “ How do you want to spend this day?”

There are two kinds of attitudes towards this celebratory ‘festival’—the “ I hate the world for such a day” attitude or the “ I wish this day would arrive soon so I can express my undying desire to him/her” attitude.

For the first scenario, we can always expect stags, lovelorn characters, pessimists and those who just got out of a case of unrequited love to be the leads. They might get all mean and demented because of having to spend the day all alone while others are getting all lovey-dovey. Most of the times, they are just lonely-hearts waiting to delve into the next opportunity that knocks on the door. Granted, not all will act this way but a couple might.

They go around snubbing every couple in sight and turning their noses up at every Valentine’s Day decorations around town. They question the significance of this very day and go fleeting around from place to place trying to dissuade people from plunging into a relationship. The devils you call it or some might just say they are speaking from experience; a sage in love.
Either way, they are just non-believers of the existence of this chemical reaction called: L-O-V-E. I don’t blame them especially since this has evolved into a day of posh dining, bouquet of crisp-fresh roses and exquisite gifts. Businesses snap their fingers and did a low-down move on these unknowing folks and just look at how they lapped up the offers thinking these are godsend essentials to a successful Valentine’s Day. But, are these material gains equivalent to a halcyon day?

Now, moving on to the second scenario where the couple declares their undying love for one another. This scenario is typical for couples, for those on the brink of being a “twosome” and young married couples. Well, I wont rule out the possibility of friends getting together for a rave till the wee hours, because who states that Valentines Day is a day for LOVERS? Its just a day of showing love and appreciation to those who love and care for you.

The second scenario is what Valentines Day is all about: spreading the love around, having a great time with the people you love and care and just embracing the ambience of what the whole V-day is suppose to bring. It doesn’t have to be top-grade wine with succulent steak or some French cuisine with hard to pronounce names like Foie grass. It’s how you want to spend this day and the agents involved that matters.

That said, I guess its time to wish everyone in every corner of the world a happy valentines day. To the lovers, to the friends, to the ex-es, to the family and even to the grouchy one: Live it, love it and enjoy it. I sincerely wish that everyone in every corner of the world will be loved and love one another.

What’s the world without love?

Part 3

2007-02-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

Part 3: The agents...

T106. Hmm… though we are not exactly close-knit like other classes, I guess we are still a good bunch of people. People as different as two peas and people just like you and me. Despite the “ I think Ph should go first” s and all, I still think it’s a good brew of personalities and characters that we possess. The jokes that go, the fun in some of the classes, I can only say it’s ‘classical’. Nevertheless, glad to know you guys and all… (leave the soap-opera whines and sobs cause that’s not going to happen here! Haas…)

PSF. They played almost an integral role in my process of ‘self-actualization’ or rather just being here and fit in. It gives me the sensational fun, put the kibosh on a bad day and just grant me access to people who became such great friends of mine. It’s almost as if it’s a diamond studded privilege card to “The life” or “The boudoir”. Ok, I know I make it sound like this overrated imagination of mine but well … one can’t be blamed for having an active imagination on the overdrive, especially when I have so much time at hand without the technology of the e-world. ( And, I’m blabbering gibberish!) In conclusion, to break this bubble of yours and mine if you happen to chance upon this ‘miniscule’ post of mine, it’s just something MORE than “ It’s just a cca!”

Reality sinks in and Titanic sunk. (And, my mother is applying some icky ointment on my brother’s sprained foot)

After everything and anything. After the world decides to revolves and 365 days past, we are back to a SPANKING (mark the word!) new year, with new revelations and new resolutions (not the photography kind of resolution)!

New resolutions and new revelations: what about too many to write, too little to speak of? I guess what’s above will be able to constitute the months I have been through and the joy, laughter and ho-hum days of the contemporary.

Part 2

2007-02-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

Part 2: Our last day!

Two semesters later…

Change is inevitable. Though I feel I have not changed much, both mentally and physically? In terms of age-wise, I guess that’s kind of obvious since everyone grows one way or another. But, I feel that I’ve learnt a lot over this period, two semesters. All that I’ve came across: coursework, internal ‘politics’, professionalism, rivalry, friendship, tears, backstabbing, laughter, teamwork and lots more. Every little thing that happens, every other person you meet is there for a reason. Nobody is just an extra in your life. Nobody is non-existent because non-existence is something in itself.

The aunty you pass by on your way out. The curry-puff seller who sells curry puffs at the MRT station everyday. The friend you smiled at. The person you knocked into. EVEN the bird (Egret) you see everyday by the same drain is there for a reason. You never know. It might save me from a group of baddies one day by pecking at them relentlessly.

Hoots

So, yes. The semester draws to a close. And, it ended on a high note! The day our radio assignment was due was definitely an EVENT-full day for the three of us. It’s “events full” and you would better believe it. We cant finish our radio assignment on time due to various reasons: people ‘eating’ into our timeslot (well, though its our fault for not asking them to leave), computer went bonkers on us, not having envelope and having to ‘hiked’ up to SIM to buy, the printers everywhere suddenly decided to play truant and we have to beg and plead a guy from IS dept to help us (that is after being rejected once and running all the way to LSCT to no avail) and finally rushing to level 7. Yes, we have to thank Mr.felix for helping us. Though I have this bad omen that we might be marked late? We’ll just have to cross our fingers and hope for a time reversal of some sort? Or leniency. But, thank you anyway.

And, the adventure doesn’t end there.

We accompanied Dorcas to the library to print her stuff and I wonder if it’s this spur of a moment thing but we ended up taking the uber-slow glass lift. And, this great idea came from yours truly I think. Anyway, we got STUCK mid-way. Yes. It’s true. The lift practically hung in mid air, like a resigned old fella. Ok, and as I have mentioned earlier, it’s a glass lift so imagine if SOMEONE tries to hide while everyone is staring, sniggering and all. Who’s that someone? Hmm… I wonder. But lo and behold, a comrade of ‘soldiers’ saved us from the tyranny of the ‘lift gone berserk’ by pressing the button from outside and commanding the lift to go up. The master and the slave. So, yes. Thanks to this group of saviors (though we forgot to say thank you).

It still doesn’t end.

We had no cashcard on us and good think we met Kash. Kudos to you for lending us that. And, after that we went through a series of cashcard problems which I would elaborate no further if not its going to turn into a novel named: “A series of SPANKING events”.

And, it ended with us taking the train back. But, that’s before us rushing into the cabin just seconds, milliseconds before it shut its doors on us, barring us out. So yea. A bang indeed!

So, ended!

Part 1

2007-02-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

Part 1: Pondering...

End of semester.

End of 2 semesters, which are equivalent to one year of poly education over. I wont elaborate on all these “ Time passes so fast” kind of stuff because I guess everyone and everywhere you will hear people say the same thing or something similar. So what’s the novelty in it? NOTHING. So, shall just proceed by reminiscing about the days in campus.

Notice the difference? I used the word ‘campus’ instead of ‘school’. Tertiary education is no longer known as a school but something more like a campus, with all the avant-garde stuff that you wont ever chance upon in a secondary school. I’m not gonna get all waxing lyrical about these little differences that these cafes, canteens, studios, labs, radio station, multi storied library make because I guess the picture of a campus wont be painted just by the mere descriptions of it all. For everything, the visual element plays a part in bringing out what the writer is trying to convey. So, why bother painting a luscious portrait of the campus when the truth could be unveiled in a matter of “being there and experience it”?

So, that brings us to the topic of “Being there and Experience it”.

Before embarking on this bohemian path of studying in a polytechnic, I once thought JC environment would be my way. I admit that memorizing textbooks is part and parcel of my life in secondary school. The chunks of text. Blocks of historical remnants. Lines of formulas and what’s not. Tell me you don’t memorise any of these? That’s a lie. Nobody ever gets through secondary school education without the ‘memorising’ of text. Unless you tell me you are the genius and I will probe no further. So, yes. The Jack of all trades, the master of none.

And, since I’m neither prodigy nor the master of any ‘conventional subjects’, I veer towards the doors of poly education. An education, which I feel I will enjoy instead of being forced into. An education, which needs not as much tests and exams. An education that requires not only the brains and wits but the perseverance and exceptional high amount of interest. That’s an education for me.

I doubted whether I will even survive in the world of “hands-on” and projects. Considering the previous universe I came from; the “memorizing world”, where books and memorizing power (a little of understanding too… for application questions) outweigh almost everything else, I guess there’s a reason to worry.

Australian Landscape

2007-01-26T19:06:00.001-08:00

Australian Landscape
Originally uploaded by ambientlight.

Resplendent is the word to describe this beauty of a photo. Look at how the clouds are of the same shade as the hay beneath it. It makes the whole picture blends with each other and never fail to exude a sense of warmth.

Imagine a life in the countryside, the rural areas, where there's nothing to worry about each day. Though this picture is more of a wasteland after it failed to be commercialised, the beauty of it all gives it another new lease of life on its own. There's just the living, the hay, the disposed and the sky as our blanket. This is a life to behold.

But think of this: Will a person that has been in the viscous cycle of technology and competition in the industrial world ever get used to a life of no technology? Being thrown into the widerness now, will we be able to turn into savages or just prey to the vultures?

Sometimes I do think that our world is too comercialised; everything for a profit- making motive. revenue? profits? The what nots? every corner we turn to, competition is always the word to be held at arm's length for the fear of it all. But, it always exists. Yes, some will say that competition breeds success and its a viable option to bring up the quality of our work but at times, its just too much.

When can we ever get to see a sky like this, a scenery like this... in singapore? Probably its just me, but i hav never witnessed dawn and dusk- the splendid.

(this picture is from flickr. )

NP's Open house...

2007-01-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

Its Ngee Ann's open house tmr.. yes! 18, 19 and 20 Jan. Do feel free to come down.. And, if i am dere, i can bring you guys around... Its really beautiful... Our school has gone through quite a couple of renovations and its looking splendid. Not forgetting the respective schools and their facility tours that will be a moment to behold. esp that of FMS (not because i'm bias or whatsoever.. but.. its just great!). FMS has like all those nice equipment, production studios, radio studios, broadcasting rooms, Dub and Splice rooms, Locvid cameras and stuff, TV production room! What's not to like? But, well.. thats just me.. but i assure you that coming to NP is the choice to make.

5 canteens. 1 clubhouse. Various Co-ops. Campus Deli. Sao Paulo pride. SIM Mega bites. SIM canteen. KAP Macdonalds.
Is this spoilt for choice or what? haas..

And, lastly i muz touch on the cca fiesta. performances will be put up by various ccas and renowed local bands, project superstar finalists are going to do some "Jam and Hop" at the Atrium. Of course, don't forget to pop y at PSF's booth at the atrium! haas.. Thanks to those hardworking rangers behind it, its fab! Sad that i can only help out for a very short time.. Projects and stuff! well.. my sincere apologies to these ppl.

So, anyway.. feel free to come! (and.. spot our cute, little MASCOT! i just love thee...)

Time seems to fly and its been almost a year at NP and its beginning to feel so much better. To a certain extent, i would say NP brings to me a lot of opportunities and experiences. So, go for it! Ngee Ann..

P.s. TP has the same open hse as us.. haas.. my second choice! haas..

Realized its a long while...

2007-01-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, i came to realize that its been kind of long since i last posted on new year. How many weeks have gone by without me knowing? These 2 weeks or so have been like a long train ride, going through tunnels and never seem to stop at any station. Everyday, its almost been a routine for me to stay up till the wee hours in the morning. Written comm essay, socpsy test, socpsy journal... Now, adding on will be proposal essay, accessed tutorial for socpsy, final accessed speech, debate,radio information capsule, IAC presentation... When can it all come to a standstill? When will everything fall into place?

Conflict is a struggle. So, am i engaged in a conflict now? against my inner self?

There's this day when i am quite unhappy in school. I wont elaborate any further because we know that blogs are not the best place to vent your frustrations towards someone or something. This particular written 'evidence' will then be testimony on the further actions and continued agression. So, i would rather remain silent. Just that, after some pondering at home, i came to a conclusion that i should naver judge others based on what they are labelled. ( yes, socpsy.) i should give them a chance to prove their worth and deploy the use of an extensional device. Judging a book by its cover might not give anyone a clear picture of whatsgoing on beneath it.

Always been this way. I can be really down at the particular moment and it will show on my facial expressions but i can be perfectly alright after i sorted out my thoughts. I don't wallow in self-pity and go around mopping over something i can't change, but rather work with it.. work along it. I don't see te point in getting yourself bent out of shape because of something so insignificant. Something i can solve. Pressed for time, tired mentality, continuous cycle of insanity: all these have remedies. So, why even get chronic depression or worse still, procrastinate and wait for an answer from the skies.

Procrastination will bring us nowhere. Learning to live with what the world has to offer is the work of a true hero!

Coming to year 2007...

2006-12-31T05:10:00.000-08:00

A couple of hours or so. A brand new year will come knocking on our doors or windows for those who dont have a door ( as if! ). At this last couple of hours before we welcome this spanking new year, what am i doing?

Many people choose to go for a raving party either at Vivo City or one of the various countdown parties around the island. For others, a vigil may be observed with the family. Or we can choose to write down our resolutions for the new year and reflect on the past year. Guess which option i choose to 'abode'? well.. yes.. thats kind of obvious since i am here and not raving mad outside; where the crowd is. Listing down resolutions and wishes for the new year are kind of a hogwash and to some complete bollocks! But you can never blame the girl for trying even though I know and you know that for me to follow these resolutions are kinda far-fetched. Yea.. So let thou begin my list:

1) relieve my workload
2) excel in my studies
3) stay out way past midnight
4) growing taller? (well.. its kind of impossible )
5) travelling overseas ( and its not malaysia )
6) indulge in something exciting
7) Do something i have never done before
8) able to fulfil my responsibilities
9) enjoy myself to the fullest
10) be NOT afraid of pets...

Ok.. that done, what about the more emotional ones? Not the crying-emotional nor the gut-clutching laughter but just that it is cognitive. Well, it might be just a futile attempt by humans to make their year appear a better one and a more organised life but it does no harm to continue believing in what we call destiny and hope, even if its just a glimmer.

I wish to:

1) be happy and carefree
2) for others around me to stop their rivalry and live in harmony
3) thank all those who love me for who i am and never give up on me
4) to be just me
5) just have a happy new year

I am not some saint who prays for world peace and cease fire because i know its all impossible but i can only wish for those i know to be safe and happy. Thats not too greedy is it? Just five little wishes for me to cling on to and ten resolutions to make my life appear nicer; a fantasy u called it? But who cares? Do we even have to think that much just to write these down? i dont think so. Its in our physical self, emotional self and spiritual being.

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After these, stand up with me and let the new year rush into our embrace. let us welcome this year full of surprises, happiness and excitement BECAUSE this is the ending of a new beginning. The start of the end. The birth of a new nation begins when the chime sounds.

This is it. Thank you for the past year of bliss and let me have more years of bliss to come!

my philosophical moments...

2006-12-29T08:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its feels as if time is not by your side and that everything is just moving too fast. U cant pull the lever to make it short and you can't snap your fingers to make the world come to a standstill. Yet, sometimes people just need a breather. Even if its the tiniest moment in life to pause and rest. yes. Even that. See how desperate i m.. And u better believe it.. desperate for some time to rest. Some time away from all the insanity wrapping my life now.. I am screaming, like a silent protest against all that takes my breath. My voice raw from emotions, my mind a whirlwind of images, but i continued my tyranny amongst all the others.

Because, it is this that kept me going. The adrenaline cruising through my veins serves as my petrol to move, to go. After this, i w won't complain no further. Or do I? Come to think of it, no single moment i spend is wasted. Because, like what Mitch Albom said, " Only time spent thinking that you are alone is time wasted." I am not alone in this battle. I have people who care for me. And, being alive is the greatest thing being bestowed upon. Nobody is born to be wasted. Nobody is born to be useless. Because, you are alive while others are not. Sometimes, people sacrifice so that others can live; for a purpose. Even if its for a stranger. 'cause, a stranger is just family you have yet to recognise. Everyone of our lives intersect in one way or another. We may not recognise the person we pass on the street or the person you knocked into on your way out. Yet, our lives have already intersected. Some of the stuff we wont make sense of now but we'll in the future.

Love ourselves before you learn to love others.

The above seems very philosophical and might just be a load of crap but they are my thoughts and so be it. I learnt a lot from Mitch Albom. He's a great writer.

..................

Went out wif jel n zj today.. haas.. kind of long since i last saw either of them.. esp jel.. that girl went MISSING! haas.. i almost put out a search for her.. haas.. kidding! But anyway, an enjoyable movie: Night at the museum and a game of bowling.. hmm.. which apparently i do not know how in the earth to bowl.. So, i ended up throwing the ball instead.. And, it went so slow that it jammed the machine.. grr.. But, well.. its fun.. A break from my insanity! haas.. School reopening soon.. Lets all have a good year ahead...

Happy new year 2007...

P.S. get rid of my workload...

merry christmas...

2006-12-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

I am really suppossed to be doing my para outlines now.. i mean seriously.. the assignments are like piling up.. who says this sem is going to be an easy life? i beg to differ.. i shld really peel myself off from this technology which robs my precious time.. I have minimal time and yet i spend them typing away at this place... Argh.. really shld get off.. oh.. come on..

But its going to be christmas soon.. Surely i deserve a break? even if it jus a small small one..

After the malaysia trip, thinga hav been kind of hectic.. Been rushing my projs, meetings and all... Sometimes it feels as though 24 hrs are hardly enough.. Bring on the 36hrs.. the 72 hrs( oh.. i hope not..)! i mean.. its christmas ppl.. Its party time.. Don be a sod.. get urself out dere in the crowd.. let the lights along orchard roas blind you with their dazzle.. let the music make you groove away.. let the world around you dissolve into tiny bits and trickle away.. this is what all of us deserve.. A party of the nation!

Yet, access denied.

Reasons we know. Reasons not worth knowing. But, i console myself with the New Year! At least smth to look forth.

In the morning, i don feel good. In fact, my mood was kind of lousy. I'm unhappy. I shall not flood tis post wif all the misgivings because nobody deserves this right? Its suppossed to be a happy day.. BUt, i hav since recovered. I dont noe y i m always de first to apologise.. first to bow down in the face of an argument. I jus do. Call me coward... Whatever you like because i jus don like to be caught in these matters, because it will jus blow everything out of proportion and at that time.. it will be unstoppable! If its just a sorry that can help matters, let me do it.

But, sometimes SORRY does not help.

But, shall not dwell on it.. because i m really alright again.. nonchalant? not really.. but fine. Because i noe.. Christmas is here. I'll be happy.. Everyone will be happy!

Is it typical singaporeans or what?

2006-12-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

Went to Sentosa today.. Ask me whats most memorable.. well, the palawan beach will be it.. because its really de cleanest beach i hav ever seen in Singapore.. I wonder * dreams* if THE GREAT BARRIER REEF will be as clean or even better.. clearer blues.. majestic waves ( not tsunami of course ) ... pristine white beach.. Throw in the surfers and some nice, groovy music.. Thats heaven and beyond! ok, snap out of the day dreaming..

We played water and suntan.. or jus about made frens wif the sand.. Haas.. The water is jus nice and cooling.. not the murky waters at coasta sands or pasir ris.. U can even see fishes and crabs.. ok, though seeing crabs are not really worth rejoicing cuz their pincers will attack u if provoked.. n de worse tink is u wont even noe if u provoke it because it might be a case of accidental " step-ons". So anyway, yea it was a fun day.. though i wish i could take all de rides there.. they jus seem so fun yet.... everything costs.. * boo- hoo* Nevertheless, a nice day.. n i gt some sun in my skin so its not dat bad.. i wan a tan! I noe some people wan fair skin but i don really fancy dat..

LAstly, is it jus Singaporeans that has the "kiasu" syndrome? going up buses they want to be the first.. going down buses they want to be the first too.. Queueing up they want to be the first too.. whats de world coming to/ And the THEY mentioned here refers to both foreigners and Singaporeans.. So, who says singaporeans are the "kiasu" lots? i tink it is some sort of psychological effect in everyone.. Or more specifically anyone who happens to be in Singapore! So u see..

Ok.. a short post cuz i hav officially onli less than 4 hrs to sleep.. goin to begin my ODDYSSEY tmr dawn.. or rather at 5? what part of de day is dat? go figure cuz i figure i need my beauty sleep now!

Bon Voyage ( to myself? )

2006-12-13T04:37:00.000-08:00

Do you know that spainiards have three names? One is a name given by the parents just like how we are each given a name at birth. This is called nombre. The second and third ones are the surnames of the parents, known also as apellidos. The first name will be the father's surname, followed by the mother's surname and finally the nombre. Hence, in actual fact Picasso's full name will be Pablo Ruiz Picasso. Interesting, isnt it? A small fact bite from LonelyPlanet.

Sometimes when life gets really boring and you find yourself having nothing to do for the long stretch of the week, what is your first thought? That excludes the word BORED! You racked your brains for something to do, something to take your mind off from whatever thats bothering you but you end up with nothing! Isn't it really pathetic? No.. this is not a depressing thought nor a depressing post but rather what i call an informative one that provides ideas to clear your boredom. Everyone one of us gets bored one of these days... You will question the routine of life and the way you live it. Here are some answers for the boring ones:

a) break social norms which is suppose to be a "project" that we are to do for social psy. Guess what we did? Some went up to random people to ask for signatures. Some ask: " how many steps are there from here to the convention centre? Because the fortune teller says that i can only take 50 steps today and i have laready taken 45 steps". Some walked into the lift and starts talking to the walls itself. Some stand outside the toilet and bow to every single one who walks out. Well, hilarious isn't it? Though thats not to say we did all of the above, only selected few. Yes. embarrassing but its a thrill.

b) indulge yourself in some dramas so you will find yourself 'chained' to the plot.

c) Try bungee jumping in SINGAPORE

d) call up everyone in your contact list and just talk about nothing in particular

e) attempt to do some D-I-Y stuff. Emphasis on the word ATTEMPT. Haas...

f) Hopping on to a random bus and scoot from one end of the country to the next.

g) Bar- hopping? but that depends on your age and curfew. People associate clubbing with booze but in actual fact its oyur choice whether or not to drink. Its not to say i drink, cuz i don't and i don't want to. can't stand it. Don't want to try. It reeks... Yet, i want to feel how its like to be in a club. Exclude the drinking and the smoke!

h) Try every single food in town. Let your taste buds sizzle to the exotic ones! But, i will pull a stop on the DURAINS! they are the worse fruit one can ever find it in us to consume... And, its still known as KING of all fruits in our country... How can anyone even stay within one metre of it and not 'collapse' is really beyond me!

I) And, lastly if you really can't find anything to do: Book the next flight out of the country...

This list will suffice i guess.

P.s. Sentosa on fri! yea...

P.p.s. having a break soon.. countdown: one more day!

P.p.p.s. Still can't believe that NUM is like...

Marriages?

2006-12-10T16:14:00.000-08:00

Is it the peak season for marrages now? This year and the next year... There are like tons of wedding dinners to attend.. Not that i'm complaining.. My dad jus attended like 3 wedding dinners in a row.. from fri to sun.. imagiine it! He doesnt really like these kinda stuff and complained about it relentlessly. However, imagine the food dere.. Thats heaven.. Or rather most of it is i assume.. yes, i go there partly for the fabulous food and the lavish surroundings. So, GUILTY AS CHARGED! But who cares? As long as you make an appearance and give your well wishes, the rest can be taken in as well.. But, thats not to say i dont mean the blessings i give.. Because i do.

people marry for various reasons but the most common one being: IN LOVE. Thats the best wedding one can ever get i believe. whats better than marrying someone for a reason like this? Instead of the darker side of marriages: for cold, hard cash and an arranged marriage. Oh come on, who does this in this century? But, thats not to say there are not a few minorities who will do this. This type of marriage is what i would call a marriage without HAPPINESS. Imagine facing someone you loathe, or ok not exactly loathe to the core but just do not like in all the years to come. Do you see yourself in a joyous family gathering or do you see arguments stringing the marriage? Your life, your choice!

Come to think of it.. When someone marries, they will have a house. A spanking new HOUSE of their own! what not to like? I love looking at houses though its not as if i m goin to get one any time soon.. But it doesnt hurt to look and appreciate right? Well, so my dream house qualities: Dome- shaped attic, glass house by the pool or in the midst of a snow- covered forest, velet curtains, full- height windows overlooking the beach, open deck, sleeping porch built like a cave, glass conservatory containing a long strech of pool with chandeliers. Woah.. This is so amazing.. Throw in some gadgets such as a hidden bedroom, walk-in bathrooms, underground chambers, a detachable glass attic! Furnish it with sculptures and paintings whats not!

Definitely a mansion to yearn for. Yes, i know this is kinda impossible but i hav seen house: HDB houses that are modified to be kinda a perfect loft for the tired days. So, you neva noe, i might see this house one dy though not exactly afford it but looking at it would be nice! SO, that brings me back to travelling all over to look at houses.. Beverly Hills and whats not.. Bring it on.. A goal makes my life so much focused. But sometimes being spontaneous will be great.. Like when you are travelling... Its not exactly fun to plan everything ahead.. A few here and there yes but not all cuz where's the fun in dat? everything according to agenda.. BORING! ( however, if you are someone who gets lost easily, better get someone along and do not backpack alone.. haas.)

And, yes.. the 2 weeks break coming! And, i will be scooting off to Malaysia for my "so- called" hols.. But, thats better than being here.. Bored stiff.. Nothing and No where to fill my life.. Oh.. except to catch a few much needed winks! haas.. At least i m TRAVELLING...

Adios.

Cars

2006-12-08T04:38:00.000-08:00

Some drivers can be such jerks.. They don't want to stop at zebra crossings and even gave a smirk when confronted with the pedestrian. I mean.. come on, is having a car such a big deal? Must you be all cocky-willy? Is this what it is all about? Getting a car just for the glory and pride it involves? This is the character that results in the increase of accidents on the road due to road rage. People with big, inflatable egos( just waiting to be trampled...) are those who are what i call:" the non de car drivers". However, i guess buying a car is just a matter of an investment: whether you have the ability to hold on to the investment. Its all just a game of gambling, just like how life itself is a big gamble. If you struggle to maintain your car and end up losing everything else, is it all worth it? Just for a few moments of pleasure and you lay such a stake?

I have nothing against cars or car drivers for that matter. In fact, i believe cars help facilitate our daily lives in a way. Though considering the fact that our country is not exactly what you would call big and unreachable by foot an the extensive network of public transport, there's practically no need for a PERSONAL transport. Yes, thats it.

A personal transport.

I guess everyone just wants something we can call our own. Something thats within our control. Something that belongs. So, a car is the answer. We will be able to go as and when we like. Speeding off in the wee hours is more pleasurable since there will be no public transport avaliable then. Avaliable during an emergency getaway. Basically, just a set of wheels to take you everywhere. A personal investment nonetheless.

And so eventually, you will ask me: do i want a car then? Well, my answer will be kind of vague. I can say not really now but you neva know what the future holds rite? Firstly, i hav practically no sense of direction. Secondly, the mechanism involved is really... Lastly, you can't just abandon a car when you get lost, and flag a cab instead rite? There said, ask me 10 yrs down the road, i might hav a diff response altogether.

Relationships?

2006-12-06T05:47:00.000-08:00

Does being in a relationship means constant reporting to one another? Does it mean spending every waking moment with one another? Because if thats the case, it will beat the life out of it. It will seem as though you are being chained to someone or smth. After a few months, all the fun and excitement thats initially dere will be gone ( like the wind! ). Thats because you will get tired of one another. FREEDOM will be robbed of you and you will turn into a GROUCHY, GRUMPY, NAGGY, MISERABLE AND HAGGARD person altogether. All the past virtues will be forgotten and whats left will just be hate. I don like a CONTROL FREAK. Or shld i say i don like to be controlled. This is my life and i want to have a say in it. I know that this statement has incurred the wrath of my parents but this is who i want to be. I believe no one can dictate our lives and our destiny. Its all in our own hands.

The country is really stifling our lives. Its controlling the way we work. what with the rules and all. If given an opportunity, i would really like to travel. I wan to go to places wif historical monuments, scenic views, exotic cultures, amazing experiences. BAckpacking? well, thats a good tink but if backpacking involves insects and treks in the jungle? well.. i guess i would hav to pass it up then. But, mountains would be nice. I hav always wanted to take a picture of a snow- capped mountain and the dropping sun. Explorer? Not really because i hav not EMBARKED on my odyssey.

The time is not ripe yet. My chariot awaits my timely arrival. Reaching.

And, well.. though saying that this act of "reporting" is kind of not my cup of tea but a few calls of concerns will be nice. When you are down and wan a listening ear.. When you are happy and wan someone to share the joy.. It all comes together! If your partner doesnt care enough to call when you are down or so, i don tink you will feel great rite? That goes to say that constant reporting is a no- no but a few now and then in the day will still be ok.

Its smth of a blend: not too much and not too little.

Fine, i m no guru but i jus chanced upon this article which says smth bout this topic and jus feel that i hav smth to say. The above is just my comments and nothing more.

P.s. waiting to fly, to travel and to indulge in photography( though i m no photographer.. )

fatigue

2006-12-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

Noticed commuters on a train in the morning rush hour...

Sleeping heads bent low. Sleeping against the pane. Sleeping mouth open. Sleeping and snoring. Sleeping with hands propped on the knees. Sleeping against the door while standing. sleeping on their partner's shoulders.

Thats the "style" today for sleeping on the train. The morning rush hour is the time where corporate people are catching up on their sleep. Its also the time where people are at their most natural self. People worry about their appearances but when they sleep, its as if this subject does not appear impt to them anymore.

Why is this so?

Fatigue. In most of our lives, everything is moving too fast. Its as if the world is spinning and churning you out in the process. Sometimes all we ask for is just a break. Yet most of the times, we cant get the rest we want. Its normal for a country like ours to be moving in this kind of pace. Go to a rural habitat. Go to a forest habitat. You will hav a culture shock! But then to say, who wouldn't like sleeping? I like it and so do you.

Anyway, thats all fer now.. really tired..

P.S. Goong part2? hmm..

day of firsts...

2006-12-02T19:26:00.000-08:00

Went to Queensway to eat mac aft grammar test-- the first time there.. It seems as though i'm a tourist exploring the unknown part of the country. Well, though the shops are not opened yet when we went for breakfast, it still never fail to amaze me! However, the place reeks of rubber smell and that of new shoes! And, aft dat we journeyed to IKEA which was also a first for me. Ok, i know a lot of ppl hav been to this place one time or the other over the years. Yet, this is truly my first time there. Fascinated by the restaurants, the shops and the main focus: The furniture! Yes, i saw a lot that i would like to get my hands on but its supposse to be DIY! Thats like Design and Technology in sec sch and i m not much of a technical person. Ask me what screw to use? i don tink u will get a satisfactory ans from me.. haas. I mean why cant they just fix everything for us, just like normal furniture shop does? Make us go through all the hard work and if the table or chair we DIY-ed collapsed, all our hard work will go into the drain. yes, just like dat. But, besides all that, i saw smth i would really like to hav: a canopy bed! Or a canopy for my bed? ( does it make a diff?) Its really so nice and some even have this victorian style to it.

Have you ever walked under the stars and felt that they are following you?

Felt the night breeze whispering to you?

The tingling feeling that make your pulse runs, just a wee bit faster?

Thats what the night does to you. Cruising along the pathways, floating up and away, jostling crowd in the bustling city( that we can do without.. argh), finally just you and me. I always love the night the best of all times because thats the time where people no longer rush about for work or anywhere for that matter. Thats the time where people are stripped off their defences and run amok? The darkness can also serve as a shield to hide our flaws. Lastly, not forgetting the emotions involved-- the happiness, the sadness, the surprise and shock. everything and anything just seem to stop at this juncture but the partying will start. Yes, this is because the night is still young and wild. everything takes on a whole new meaning and a new lease of life on its own..

i love the night, do you?

p.s. i just saw a bird at my window.. wanted to take a close- up shot at its facinating eyes but...

What a week!

2006-11-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

No comments on internet connection. Though its wireless now, the way it works, its still wierd. Grr..

Ok, grammar test tmr. woah.. thats exactly like back to the good old days in primary school.. Hmm, its been ages ago, or eons that i have taken a grammar test. I wonder how it wil be like and yes, i hav not finished studying but we shall not go there. Let me enjoy my one day break first before doing anything worth doing that is.

A week ago, someone asked me this question: " what is your ambition?"

I considered this well.. I don really have long term goals or anything for that matter. Short term goals: i wan to be an instructor or more specifically camp instructor. For kids camps! i like the excitement of the activities and the fun of it all. Kids know whats fun.. they do not have any obligations or any namesake to uphold. All they know is just to play and have fun. Thats enough! So, they give it their all in playing and with no restictions. As we grow older, we tend to have social restrictions: the 'do's' and 'don'ts'.

For a long term goal, i don tink we need to tink dat far yet( present orientation). Not a specific goal: i want to fly all over the globe. So, a job that meets this requirement will definitely obtain a *thumbs- up* for me. Ain't it so?

I jus saw this act of a person that irritates me to a certain extent. HE SPITS ON THE GROUND ON BROAD DAYLIGHT! i mean that equates to a crime in broad daylight. This is a social problem that must be rectified as soon as possible. How can he do that? Its wrong. just downright wrong. The path is for people to walk, not his alone. Its not a rubbish bin, for godssake! Some people are just not social- conscious. They are individualistic? They are big ego-ers who care only about their own well- being or so i would like to assume. Not caring whether my assumptions are correct or no, i hold my stand! These people deserve to be convicted and put not to jail but to do corrective work order. *phew*

So, i guess i will end this post short. I realisr this post has no main point. everything is just kinda random and all. So, my apologies to anyone who even bother to read. haas

Something out of the norm...

2006-11-24T04:33:00.000-08:00

Imagine this: Looking across the vast 'continent', dotted by meer mortals in brown clothing. They are squirming, struggling and scuttling away( if they can that is..). Standing among them, searching for a focal point in the " sea of browns". You advance towards a clear landing( trying to find one that is) but a 'brown' staggered your way. You dodged and fled. Why not just crush them? End their suffering? you mean like Eutanasia? Nah-ah..

Answer: they are the COCKROACHES!!! Mercy be instilled... What happened was that on my way to school one morning, these frightful creatures are all over my void-deck and a few to come.. That is plain gross.. What a sight to behold.. I have to turn and go another way just to aviod this massacre -- the graveyard for the cockroaches. That's what i call it!

So, anyway what happened to my blog.. Grr.. its been a busy week for me.. Pardon my insolence! I will work doubly hard from now.. Haas.. nah.. Sometimes, its just the feeling of writing and all but most of the time its really the time factor..

Anyway, before i stray off course once again.. i went to watch happy feet today!
Its really hilarious, that kind of roll- off- the- couch humour. A musical like movie, with its distinctive 'poop- star' like dance steps.. A definite teaser that will leave you in a spanking good mood after it..

Catch the penguin movement...

Snuggie quishy.. a lazy day.. Or not!

I jus saw this advert that advertises for police officers.. haas, the bell in my head went off! Guess that triggered me once more.. I dunno whats this fettish will bring me but well i noe this is kinda impossible, but a person can dream, right?

i have plenty of big dreams but its the mind that can't seem to take it! i want to fly.. But, not a pilot.. i want to visit exotic places, go backpacking and just trot the globe twice over.. But, obligations,responsibility and material needs put a stop to all these dreams. Its as if a cap is screwed tightly around the bottle neck. Even though the water is threatening to overflow, the cap pulls a tigt one on it. Tip it and give'em a few knocks but the results still remain the same. If there is this one day where the cap loses its grip, the contents will gush out in torrents, relishing the new- found freedom! That is the day i am waiting for.. Its not the intangible freedom that i am waiting for but the ability to savour the contents that go along... I know that too much freedom is detrimental to our health.. freedom muz come with a warnig label! Just think about freedom of speech in our media.. ( which will make me launch into another series of debate which i think i will not jump into..)

So, yes.. sorry for those who even bother to read.. Cause, its really just my 'dumping grounds'. Excuse my illogical rantings.. Its building up but its like a valve, opening up.

P.s. 2 more weeks to malaysia trip.. Oh my, my accessed speech again nxt week..

Indulgence

2006-11-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

This is mine assignment for written comm. We are aupposed to choose a topic to write a para on.. And, guess what i chose? yes. my favourite food in the world--- chocolate. How can anyone aurvive without chocolate in their lives, i have no idea. They are just the most fabulous food that will never fail to tickle yourtaste buds and make you yearn for more. However, that only applies to certain chocolates... Not those with less than 50% of cocoa and just throw in some waffles or nuts to call it a " chocolate bar". That's plain bollocks. A good piece of chocolate has its unique characteristics. You will say:" its just a piece of chocolate, what's the fuss?" But, it is only when u tasted a piece of good chocolate then will you know what i mean. A piece of good chocolate does not necessarily mean it has to cost a bomb. Its the ingredients inside that counts. Cetainly, gourmet chocolate has its attributes but chocolate brands like kinder bueno are just as fine to satisfy a coquettish craving.

Saying so much, why don't we see how we are suppossed to taste a piece of dark chocolate.

To be able to truly enjoy a piece of dark chocolate involves a number of steps. First, you must clear your palate. This means that you have to clear your mouth of any lingering flavours. In doing this, you will then be able to taste the intricate details of the chocolate. Second, the appearance of the chocolate attributes to the flavour. The chocolate must be large enough in order to discover every little detail as it slowly melts. The surface of the chocolate should not be covered in blooms and it should exude a bright sheen. Third, smell the chocolate. Breathing in the aroma prepares the tongue for the chocolate itself and helps in taking in the subtleties of the fragrance. Fourth, let the chocolate cool down to room temperature before consumption. Cold temperatures will hold back your senses and will not allow for you to detect the intricacy of the chocolate. Fifth, place it on the tongue and let it melt. This allows the cocoa butter to spread evenly in the mouth, taking away any bitterness in the chocolate itself. As it melts, focus on the flavours that it conjured. This process will release more compounds that will tickle your senses. At this moment, close your eyes and enjoy the flavours exploding inside your mouth. Finally, the chocolate reaches the end of its spellbinding odyssey. You will then ask the following questions: “Is the chocolate heavy?”, “ Is the chocolate bitter or light?” and“ Does it leave a strong lasting taste in your mouth?”

How's that? After writing this para did i realise chocolate appreciation is actually a form of art on its own. Hope you guys enjoy them as much as i did.

Ok, and since this is going to be a food post, more food....

I am having a terrible cold.. since yesterday.. Stuffed nose, puffy and trearing eyes, incoherent words.. The ultimate downer! And, despite all these, i bought myse;f bubble tea on my way home.. Just wanted smth to quench my thirst for the walk home, under the ever- scorching sun beating down my back. And, yes. Miracurously, my nose cleared and it became better.. Though it only holds for a short whille before riveting back to a blocked nose.. But those few moments of pleasure is better than nothing.. So, wonder where this wonder drink is? location: Hougang mall level 5, Happy Cup. ( though the cups they use are not exactly happy.. haas!)

Next, u know where's thes best cream puffs? Ans: beard papa.. they have those cold ozzing cream that makes u swoon and ask for more.. the coronet with its crisp skin is mouth- watering.. the chocolate has chocolate that fills ur taste buds immediately but eating these items of 'lust' can be a messy affair at times.. So, savouring at home will be a much better indulgence.

Last on my list of recommendations will be Ben n Jerry's ice cream.. exotic flavours like Dublin Mudslide, chunky monkey and fudge... woah.. These are really "to-kill-for". Though the prices are kinda exorbitant and thus make it a splurge that we could not have often.. Under the chef's thumbs: A 5 star! Because, the friendly service crew with their mega-watt smile adds to the ambience.

So, thats all for now. Start drooling over these tasty treats! i entitled one long post for these cravings! yum..

The contrast..

2006-11-09T05:46:00.000-08:00

A shift from secondary sch life to poly life is smth that needs getting used to. You don't just get in an find yourself immediately settled in the lifestyle. Some adjustments are needed nonetheless. Here, let us look at the transition between sec sch rigid educational system to tertiary lifestyle; the inevitable changes:

1) No fixed classroom
2) get use to the terms lectures and tutorials
3) small class size
4) travelling all over a sprawling campus (on feet)
5) Long breaks up to 3 hrs or even more
6) lots of project work and flexible assessment
7) lots of canteens and food choices
8) long periods like 3 hrs for a module
9) e- based learning
10) cultivating independence esp when you live far away and has to journey part of the journey home alone
11) no teacher-in- charge for ccas
12) ccas are not compulsory
13) varieties of cca are larger
14) interactive learning and more hands- on
15) facilities that you don't normally see in secondary schs or even jc
16) Oh yes.. the "no- uniform" aspect that brings pleasure and trouble
17) ccas start after classes and end late( around 9 plus?)
18) learn to take charge at times
19) learn to be inquisitive and responsive
20) exclusive to np students: compulsory laptops which can be a drag at times( imagine the weight!)

Remember remember, the art of tertiary life
Remember remember, the pleas and whines
the social butterfly or the humble pie,
no matter who you are,
remember remember, the list above.

p.s. there's flooding in school today,
venue: convention centre
time: 2.30pm
people present: students milling around like ants

P.P.s. ibook gone haywire and keeps disconnecting by itself

P.P.P.s socpsy pop quiz finally over and phew!

P.P.P.P.s More pressing datelines that need to be followed and assignments to be handed in. Argh!

P.P.P.P.P.s. yearns to go vivo city for the night scene again, now with my camera for the fab scenery and equally beautiful structures. This is a break well- deserved. I hav been slogging my hearts out for the past few days in addition to late nights after school. Imgine spending almost 13 hours in sch( even more than the amt of time i spent at home) and returning home not to my comfy bed but the pile of notes, books and assignments all staring at you, threatening to burn a hole in you with their intensity( serious, its almost as i see it.. though yeah.. i always tend to dramatize stuff.. but..)

P.P.P.P.P.P.s. ok, finally getting to the end of all these pps-ing and no school for me tmr! Awww...

The contrast..

2006-11-09T02:48:00.000-08:00

Princess Hours..

2006-10-31T19:35:00.000-08:00

A random ranting...

Well, i dont like korean shows but i hav to admit Princess Hours is really good! even to the extent of being fab.. I finished the whole show ytd and yes though my liking of the show attributes to it having a great ending, its still nice.. Its almost as if it's a fairytale. Or rather it is.

There are happy and hilarious moments and sad ones that made me tear.. This sounds a bit absurd but this is probably the only show that made me tear as much.. As in throughout the whole episode.. one. I mean i am someone who dont usually burst out in hysterics over anything but i often give in to films and drama serials.. Dont ask me y because some things hav no explanation and i m in no position to explain( ask my tear ducts though..). I know what is shown in drama serials are merely fictional and not realistic but sometimes living in fantasy is not as bad.. At least, everyday will be a happy day because for all we know anything bad that happens on dat day can be treated as a fantasy.. a dream. If we live simply, there will be no more pain and suffering but thats almost impossible...

Anyway.. there are also side effects to being addicted to drama serials.. believe me. there is always the urge to watch till the end and u will spend every waking moment sneaking dvds and watching them behind ur parents' back.. a feeling detestable but yet unevitable once it gets on to you.. So, yes.. indeed! this is de side effect... But, nevertheless i believe its worthwhile.

If only, fairytales happen in real life and not just on reel..

I hope Princess Hours2 has a good ending too cause if not it will be even worse.. Perfect endings!

Socialising as an important tool?

2006-10-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

ok.. some people might feel that socialisation is a part and parcel of life and in truth, it is. But, think of it this way.. every now and then, you meet new people and the socialisation process takes a whole new level. Its the stage whereby first impressions count. You can start with an opening line: " Hello, are you in the same course?" or " what class are you from?" or "Hi, have i seen you before?"... All this are opening lines to kick- start a conversation. Most communication processes start in this way and it gears the other party what you are going to say next.

However, it kind of gets a bit cliche as time goes by. If u do not say hello, people will assume that you are snubbing them or that you are just plain arrogant. Yet, sometimes, the snubs are unintenional and they go unnoticed by the 'snubber'. Here, some people might think otherwise: " they are just plain rude".

The world works this way. Or rather from what i have observed, it does seems to be this way. At times, the socialisation wears us out and we just wish to slip to some corner ,unnoticed. Think of it this way: you had a bad day and at the end of it you went clubbing, in the hope of being alone. Along came a stranger who wanted to chat you up.

But, you are not in the mood to talk or play up to their antics. So, you decided to ignore that person and after a few more persistent tries, he/she will go away and blabber to some other about your 'wierd' behaviour. thats just how it works-- Sometimes people jump to conclusions just on that.

well, this is just one of my neurotic thoughts that just might be the truth... haas.

Ok, nxt topic: school. (what else?)

school's been fine.. the assignments are rolling in, no doubt. But, its not as bad as last sem i guess... The assignments are of a smaller scale and mostly individual projects so its fine. Not that grp projs are bad but jus that we hav to meet- up and do toons of discussion: staying late in school and kind of stuff. Yea, and considering that i hav to travel far to go back home, it doesnt seem all tat appealing. But, grp projs do hav their adv: the workload is shared! haas..

But, its ok.. i hav no complaints with such a schedule! And,, well.. classes r fun too.. In a way.

ahh.. i'm loving it!

2006-10-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

I hav no idea what to blog about.. kida random! but i promise i m goin to change my blog soon.. as in the format.. cuz i kinda find it boring to a CERTAIN extent!

Anyway,, today's lectures r soooo relaxing.. cuz for some sort of reason or whatsoever, the lectures for written comm n radio r cancelled! yipee.. And, whats more.. the speech comm lecture is soooo fun.. ok, as what de lecturer said: " anyone walking pass will think that we r those kinda ppl wif disability to speak properly.." haas.. well, dats cuz we r learning pronunciation n phoenatics.. grr.. its fun in a way but jus kind of... difficult? those arabic like symbols we hav to learn fer phoenetics.. haas.. But, it is fun.. not forgetting a lecturer which is sooo funny! Oh well.. n socpsy.. nice but a teeny bit dull? but i enjoy de module though..

So, yes.. tis is my second week of sch.. its so fast.. kind of.. nowadays, i onli hav 4 days of sch.. haas.. ppl, try not to be jealous k... oh well.. but come to think of it, except weds lessons, i kind of like tis sem classes..

N yes.. went out whole day ytd..first to the gym( tip: de gym water is sooo cooling!), next to cp fer lunch and then to Vivo City.. i regreted not bringing my camera.. the scenery dere is really one of a kind.. thumbs-up for the bona- fide scenery.. ok, the haze might be kind of bad fer our health n i shldn't rejoice over it but i feel that the haze make the whole place enshrouded in smoke.. a feeling of mystery! just like genting highlands..( except de air is not considered great..)

And, yes.. we went to explore Toys'R'us.. at Vivo city.. lots of fun.. esp at the halloween section which has those amazing costumes, funky hats, hideous masks... and, it was certainly FUN!

Aft walking fer a few rounds, we went back to this open space where we kind of 'picnicked'.. food from giant.. haas.. watching the sky turn dark.. There i realised smth, Singapore still has its few attractions after all.. I'm amazed! We shld do it again soon.. haas..

And, ok.. wif dat.. i m so goin to bathe n take a nap.. And, yes.. my chariot awaits me-- assignments!

( i will change my blog soon.. not onli de layout.. but de content.. hees.. a promise!)

daily rantings..

2006-10-14T01:25:00.001-07:00

Went out again! let me see.. throughout this whole week... which day hav i stayed home? Counting now: None! Oh my.. and what did i do outside? Answering now: groping and buying, walking and slogging, whispers and howling, and lastly everything equates to a big hole in my pockets. yea.. BUt, think about it this way.. for the pleasure of freedom, the halcyon hours spent together: the price to pay! But that brings me to the topic: muz we spend in order to enjoy? In this world, everything is priced. Pick up a can of drink at the minimart, charged! Trying drugs, charged( freedom insued)! Valet parking for just a wee bit longer, charged! sampling food at a fair and end up having to buy aft persuasive buggering my the sales ppl, charged!
See, this is what i mean by everything having a price tag attached to it! A reality check does it..

I have to get a number of stuff before mon rolls in:
- Notebook
- pencil case( maybe)
- pen
- laptop case( not very likely to find)
- pair of shoes( due to my mom complaining that i keep wearing slippers to sch..)
- find a musical
- and.. rest well!

School starts, a whole new semester.. What will the new term bring? lots of work and projects? lots of fun? or both? Obviously, everyone expects this term to be light- hearted but maybe we shouldnt let our guards down this early into the term.. for all we know, there might be unexpected developments along the way.. I wont jinxed it by saying anything bad so i might as well say smth good.. for eg, shorter hours, lesser grp work, easier modules, more interesting projects, nice lecturers! haas.. woah.. here.. i hav said it all.. be surprised! Ooo.. actually i wished this is the year we are taking a foreign lang as IS module.. I will definitely choose SPANISH.. envision myself lavishing along the spanish walkways, tap-dancing to spanish music.. all in the heart of Spain.. opps.. a bit carried away here.. well, if only there is to be an exchange program and be given an opportunity to travel overseas and experience the culture.. Its goin to be like HEAVEN to me..I'm serious.. Well, cant blame me fer thinking this way.. cuz i m like a bird trapped in a cage( Kelly Clarkson's breaking free shld be on air here!).. neva flown out of my cage( Singapore).. well.. except to Malaysia but that is not even considered overseas because its by land.. unless u means over the bridge connecting Singapore and Malaysia where there's 'sea' underneath.. So, imagine how it feels when stories about overseas trips r being played across ur ears and u gripping for any details to satisfy the desire to travel.. Thats what i do everytime these stories are being narrated..

And, with dat i noe that i hav really strayed from one topic to another and am being very long- winded.. pity those who r trying to read cuz its kind of jus my rants and views.. no pictures or whatsoever like other blogs.. cuz i m kind of lazy in uploading and what with the internet not being very stable, sometimes the loading of pics will jus get stuck. .So, in conclusion.. my blog is neither glamourous nor fun- gripping.. But, anyway its my own space so why bother so much? Its not as if i m participating in some kind of blog competition.. ( which i m sure to rank aong the last few..)

ok, with dat, i end my looooong post.. thank u for bearing with me! haas..
Kudos to everyone who made my day in one way or another.. School's starting! here i come..

daily rantings..

2006-10-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

school's starting..

2006-10-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

well.. a whirlwind of a week.. i am out practically every single min of the day tis week.. Believe in enjoying every single min of the last week of freedom( or rather bittersweet boredom in a sense).. sch's revving up and ready to go next week with a tortourous mon to begin with... Long dat till 6pm.. lectures all the way.. though dere's a long break of 3 hrs in between but imagine what time i will reach home.. when lessons end at 6.. grr.. See... tis all fire up my complaints bout the hr- long journey to n fro sch.. Well, but come to tink of it.. i hav much rather taken to the teadious journey since i 'convinced' myself its my own decision in the first place and i hav to stick to it fer around 2 more years or so.. Much rather learn to embrace the 'enemy' than fighting against it? heard of this proverb or well smth resembling it i guess.. haa..

So well, now back to topic.. Sch reopens.. I wont grumble, i wont despair. Because i hav a timetable that makes me swoon.. haas.. a bit of exaggeration but well i hav always been dat.. hee.. Ok, i hav fri free and dat adds up to a looooong weekend.. Smth to jump fer joy.. I cant believe the sch's dat good.. oh< but the rest of the days r kind of long.. mostly ending at around 5 but dats great fer tues as i will only hav to sit out for 1hr before PSF session rolls in.. *thumbs up* No more long waits in the freezing place of a library.. No more journeying back home first before coming back again for PSF session.. No mores!

Everything coming to a closure.. Its time to work again. work hard we muz, play hard we do because whatever we plan to hav a stake in, there's to be equality. In order to live life to the fullest, learn to laugh, play and work. There are always both sides of the coin-- work hard and reap or play hard and enjoy. Between them is only a meagre thread of difference but once you fall into either one, somehow or the other, your life wont be as wonderful because the balance is tilted.
Some people feel that poly life is not as close- kint as jc life or rather secondary school life. Its true in a way but sometimes it also lies with the person and whether or not he/she is willing to try. In poly, most of the times its lectures, tutorials, projects and home! Not much after sch activities that are COMPULSORY. Hence, explains the relationship among fellow students. BUT, if we are willing to try, to immerse in the activities aft sch, to join an extra curricular activity.... I guess all will be diff, because at least you tried.

Yea, so as a promise to myself.. i wan to work hard tis sem but in working hard, i wan to learn and i wan to play. experience is invaluable.

Hooked in virtual

2006-10-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

Well, its been quite some time since my previous post and u guys muz be wondering what i m doin.. Since i m not slogging my guts out at the moment, i shld hav lots of free time at hand so whats the excuse? yes, i know.. so, i will jus ans with a blatant one: I m hooked on youtube videos.. Ok, to put it in simpler terms and more general in the sense, its those taiwan variety shows where we can only get to see on cableTv which i m apparently void of.. So, that explains why YouTube.. My source of 'comfort' and 'cordon bleu'... As if! But, its a whole lot better than sitting at home all day with crappy tv shows and jus practically lazing around, which seems to be what i hav been doing almost all day.. Sometimes, yea i might be too lazy to jus step out of the hse, but come to think of it.. are there any places in singapore that i hav not been to? hmm.. yea.. there might be some discreet locations that i might not hav been to but other than places like Arab st or md Sultan rd kind of places where quaint shops might apparate out of nowwhere, where else?

Not that singapore is not great, because it is in a number of ways..like its peace and tranquility, uptight sercurity, almost friendly people.. And, yes.. SAFE! well, these are some good attributes Singapore holds but looking back at these listed attributes, does it seem a teensy bit blant? As in mundane? If u beg to differ, then throw me some excitement.. smth new and smth out of the way.. Argh.. but face it, there are really none to offer.. The closest thing to entertainment will be the hordes of shopping malls springing all over the island.. with the latest at HarbourFront-- VivoCity. yea... galore of cineplexes, boutiques with overpriced items, restaurants for the fancy.. Is this an attempt to draw in more tourists? Or overindulgence? But, before shooting it down the dumps, yea.. its a great place for some entertainment, some pampering.. And, since i hav not really been there and my views r only based on some critics on newspapers, it might prove me wrong..

But, now the subject is the issue of being there, done that and looking for more.. And, there's no more to look for! and when youtube crashes, which is now starting to seem like, well then i will really become a couch potato..

And, before i go off, i jus hav to say that this book, autobiography of Xiezhi in chinese.. its great.. its the second chinese book i hav read actually.. its the sequel to the first book.. I mean it great not jus being a biased opinion cuz i like this person but actually what is written is really real n not pretence nor a fallacy.. talks about the pits and glamour of the entertainment industry and how he perservered.. Sometimes the lessons he learnt, it feels as if though i m not there and not taking the same path as he is, but it applies to me too.. He talks about setting goals and dreams and what gives.. This makes him jus like a normal person, celeb or not, he has a story like all of us!

Yipee..

2006-09-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

See the swing.. its really amazing when u get n it, swinging up and up, trying to touch the skies and feel the adrenaline rush.. As u rock up and away, letting ur legs bring u up and swinging away all thats below.. everything becomes a swirl around u and close ur eyes.. let ur eyelids droop and make urself believe that u could go on swinging non- stop.. like a pendulum, an on-going cycle. As u pause at mid air, listen! Do u hear the birds chirping( or in this case, crows!)? U wonder what happen beneath u.. will the sand give way? But, no.. don let these thots affect whats really important: the peace, the serenity of being alone and away from all the problems.. let the wind wash over n cleanse the mind, let not the negative thoughts penetrate the mind... The world does make a difference in jus this minute.

remember a few posts back, i talk about this wonderful show.. and has since been gabbing about it.. There's a water maze in the show.. Its a legend that when 2 lovers each standing 2 sides and one of them walk towards the other only based on fate.. If they meet, that means destiny prevails.. they r meant for each other.. Its a legend which is only true in the show.. So, yea.. no scientific evidence nor any proof.. But, today as i looked upon this maze on the land.. i began to ponder.. Is the legend true.. Not only for lovers i mean but for friendships too.. Is there such a thing as fate? who controls our destiny? Our life is like a maze, interlaced. everything is weaved into a web of thoughts and emotions.. Sometimes problems get out of hand and we blame each other, but question urself, this is the maze u hav created.. So, why put the blame on others?

....................

Ok, i neva noe dogs r like humans.. they sneeze! its really true.. I saw it at pasir ris park today.. this brown-coated dog was following a guy of whom i could assume was the owner n suddenly it gave a tiny little sneeze,followed by a few louder ones.. I'm kind of taken back by this.. so amazing.. Ok, i hav no first hand experience with any animals, much rather dogs.. so its no surprise that i do not know the information simple as that.. And, when i got on the bus, i saw this show on animals which show dogs doing all kinds of amazing stunts that is simply gorgeous.. Imagine a dog line- dancing! u will know what i mean.. A funny sight no doubt, but makes me wonder how similar dogs are to man.. That might be why they r the best of frens.. BUT, no.. not to me anyway.. i m rather afraid of dogs.. Opps.. ( yea, i revealed my fear!)

a trip to pasir ris park can hav such a number of revealations..

how rude can people get?

2006-09-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Some people are jus plain rude.. I don mean to say this of anyone i noe, cuz its not.. its jus a few incidents which i hav witnessed that really left a real bad impression on me.. I noe sometimes people get rude but its unintentional or jus a spur of a moment, and i wud admit that dere r a few times when i consider myself a nuisance to my parents but yet, at least i do not use any crude languages in our arguments nor any foul language on hand.. We live in a cosmopolitan city as i would like to desccribe our small island and no doubt, the variety of foul languages range from hokkien to english... You will be shocked to learn that in this few languages we coould see the 'cosmopolitan' side of our country or as such.. But, do we really wan to put Singapore on the globe jus cuz of this? Aren't we the slightest bit unabashed?

Now, well what makes me think of the rudeness of it all? Here, let me encounter 2 incidents:

First, like many of the Singaporeans, i read XiaXue's blog.. I m not a frequent reader of it but whenever i read it, its with mixed feelings.. I mean the girl has a strong personality in her writing which stands out from the numerous blogs that r vying for attention, like the infamous Colin and Kero( which people are jus interested cuz they r diff, but i tink they are kind of jus a normal couple.. or so i thot?).. So, ok back to the topic at hand. As i read thru her entries, there r tons of foul language and i wud dare say i hav learnt much more about these 'obscenity' than i hav ever anywhere.. Some people might say its being real.. she wrote real stuff, writing what she think and if i don feel pleased, den jus get off her blog.. But, all's in black and white, wont she hurt someone? by writing and featuring them jus like that? And, with that ' amazing language' of hers.. i mean its kind of absurd if doing this will hurt others.. Or am i wrong, if so do correct me!

i m not belonging to one of those hate xiaxue's blog cuz i feel she's a great writer in her own way.. Not many people can unveil their own writing style, and yet i cud see from her blog that, the stories she wrote r kinda engaging in their own way.. Many read them, so why not?

Next, the other incident went someway back and is one of the many MRT related incidents.. yea.. i realised many bloggers tend to blog about incidents in public transport.. But, fear not, i m not one of them.. this is jus my first public transport incident which coincides with my topic.. So, lets listen..
This woman was shouting down the other person's ear( thru her cell).. And, its in full view of everyone in that cabin which yea.. includes me.. Anyone within a proximity of one cabin cud jolly well hear her nonsensical scream and make out the content of her displeasure.. which is about a package thats being sent by her has not reach the recipient and she's making a darn big fuss at the service of the post office and practically threatening to jump the bones of any unfortunate customer service operator who has the misfortune of being her 'dartboard'. The whole cabin was practically listening to her screams, while at the same time trying to pretend to be doing their stuff when in actual fact NO.. But, some people jus voiced their displeasure by giving her an irritated glance which she appeared to hav not received..
Ok, her language is fine.. no foul language( afterall, she's talking to a customer service operator..So..).. BUt, whats disturbing about it is how rude she can get being babarric and unreasonable, even asking the other party to practically shut up( though not the actual words i think).. Did she even pause to think about her actions? Picture this: a woman with hair neatly combed, dressed smartly in a business suit, polished heels. does this description of an educated woman even fit the bill of the vengeful woman shouting down the phone? Its not only an ugly sight but it speaks something about her demeanor too..

Ok, done with my sudden ramblings.. And, going for a fine cycle at pasir ris park lata..
So ciao fer now..And, pardon my utter inconsistent ramblings..

How can some people be as rude?

2006-09-27T19:01:00.001-07:00

Magicians of love

2006-09-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

I hav rested far and well.. Too much to the extent of being bored at home.. Jus reviewed on a film for sgnewwave, read some books, configuring my music( and, getting equally sick of the old tunes.. gotta find some new ones real soon..), went to the gym, shop around and basically jus laze around most of the days.. Now, the peak period of my week is prob jus tues psf session.. at least i hav an agenda or rather smth to do.. smth fun! haas.. When most of the JCs ppl are now mugging for their promos.. Wishing u guys all the best here!, those from poly r having the hols and will be starting school when the rest are having vacation.. This is jus so 'great'. But, not to grumble and not to tumble because as i believe, all's quite fair.. And let it be..

Cheng went overseas lo.. 'camping' in china.. haas.. bon voyage.. But now, the topic of travelling overseas comes to hand, i hav to stress here.. yes.. i really yearn to travel.. Tell me what kind of job prospects require travelling frequently.. i will jump at the chance! believe me.. let me list down the top 3 countries i want to visit: Spain, Australia, Italy.. ask me y? well.. i cant really give a definite reason as yet.. but Spain is for the culture and arts i love, Australia for the exotic animals and beaches, Italy is mainly for the lifestyle and hmm.. a little due to presence of gelato.. ( Ooo.. i jus ate Venezia jus now.. absolute best! yum..)

So, this is not just groundless reasons..

Next, i hav to dedicate a big chunk of this entry to gushing about this super- duper, absolute best show( oh, at least to me it is..) I jus finished watching this pop idol drama called Magicians of love.. A chinese drama serial about how 3 fashion hairstylists encounter relationship problems amongst the glamour of it all.. models.. advertisement endorsements.. And, finally 2 male leads falling for a female hairstylist and the complications involved. Their brotherly ties were tested, relationships between the female lead and the 2 of them were a stir.. Both guys were so great to her.. She's confused about her feelings but yet she did not want to hurt either of them..

Now, talk about my feelings towards it.. I mean i tend to get carried away by my own emotions.. esp during drama serials.. Sometimes, i will find myself in a position to decide which side will i side with.. Here, i tend to think: Is Artz better for her or Is Richie better for her? Then, there will be lots of emotional scenes and for someone like me who dont really burst into tears at the slight touch of everyday stuff, i can really weep while watching these scenes.. My face will be all tear- streaked aft the scene.. And, even aft the whole episode ended, the scene is over.. i will let the emotions overwhelm me n really ponder.. Ok, i guess this is really kind of out.. but well.. a good show always neva fail to do dat to me.. And, one good tink is the ending is really great.. everything weaves a perfect ending.. And, it s a cliche!
Ok, though the reason might be that i like the actors who acted in the show.. but the plot is kind of great too.. Though i know many fail to think so, but the most impt tink is my enjoyment.. why would i care about what the rest think? I like it and so be it.. i like shows with perfect ending.. like Cinderella's happily ever after.. I m not one to go into murderous shows, violence, horror or detectives.. i like those which as what mentioned above.. just nice and simple.. no bad endings.. no death and slaughter.. Thats prob how i view the ppl i see.. And, some ppl jus say that i m jus too naive but well.. i hav seriously not met any bad ppl as yet.. ( and i don wan to..)haas..

Ok, shall end my post here and take a little buzz..

P.s. 183 club is really great!

Well, things din turn out well..

2006-09-16T01:19:00.000-07:00

Its a moody post so be prepared.. Not in one of my best moods definitely..

Why?

I broke it. How can i do that? though i know its not on purpose but its really my treasured possession.. Something dear to me has been broken.. Its wings tattered and shattered.. Not exactly in bits but still.. It still hurts.. ' Crack'. Just like that.. It reminds me.. Everything in our lives are fragile and we might hurt them whether intentionally or not.. Sometimes words hurt like a slash on ur wrists and blood seeped through the wound, but.. those who said them might not necessarily bear a grudge or a certain amount of hatred towards the victim. Its all ACCIDENTAL.

But who knows? Not you and neither the victim. My victim, i mean.

Why is it a treasured one? Well.. it kindof carries a special meaning, a certain amount of significance on a special day. It kind of has some sort of representation that serves as some kind of bond attached to smth that no longer belongs. Not to me anyway. And, this is really one of a kind. i can't bear to look into its doleful eyes and not be sorrowful of the mishap. well, i might be able to repair it but once broken, its neva the same again.. Ever.
The wings no longer gleaming upon its back, the shine gone no matter how hard i polished. And, upon its solitude, the lights cast a dark gloom, as if enveloping it into the dark lord's lair.

But, rest assured i will get it up on its feet again! In no time.. ( This is jus a tad sentimental but well.. Cuz it is too..)

Next, the next bad thing on my list.. As promised a gloomy post, and what now.. My disappointing results! credit given that at least i passed but just passing is not that great.. at least to me.. because when i chose this path, smth i loved( yes, even now..) i thought i will be able to be at least better than those everyday maths and sciences.. so, imagine the disappointment.. Though actually i kind of expect some of them to be that bad but those of which i hav more confidence in, i din do as well.. See what i mean? expectations. But, since its all been done. Everything down on black and white..( ok, not exactly.. there are some colours!haa..), i might as well move on.. no point in weeping over spilled milk which u cant possibly lick back in again.. so, i guess its jus a promise to myself of a better semester and a better GPA.

Lastly, my worst thing on my bad list.. At least to me i feel that it is.. somewhat constitutes to my gloomy post.
DANCE during psf session.. I MEAN COME ON.. THIS IS NOT A JOKE RIGHT?i cant dance for nuts or rather nutcases... And, i don even hav a dance lined up yet.. Help is really needed but who gives? I know i asked sp to help me but still waiting for her reply.. If she really cant, i guess i will be left to accept the punushment.. actually come to think of it, the punishment doesnt really seem so bad aft all.. Haa..see what i mean? Insanity at its peak!

Oh, and yes.. i hav a flim critique to do.. For SgNewWave.. I muz really get to it soon..
Ok, right.. End my gloomy post with a gloomy farewell..
And, even though its a gloomy post, i still give my well wishes to Mr. blogger and all those who even attempt to read my blog entry.. haas.. My heroes.. here's to u: *bow*

I hav far too much complaints..

2006-09-14T06:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, i hav seriously lots to drone on and on... Starting with how i jus logged on to np website and there's this big flashing sign... " EXAM RESULTS WILL BE OUT ON 15 SEP, FROM 9 AM ONWARDS.." and according to my human calendar which is clearly functioning and ticking away.. its the big day... TOMORROW.. A big whipping gasp! Collective not... Do i really need such a reminder? esp when i m kind of nervous bout how my locvid and gracom are goin to be like.. And, not forgetting my exams and tests too... Already, my splitting headache is getting worse by the min..( As in a real headache and not an exaggerated one.. And, i rarely get headaches.. So...)

Oh, forget it.. Let the worries of tmr remain for tmr..
Won't it be a much pleasant world then?

Next, i sorta camped overnight at my gran's hse.. as in ok.. well.. sleepover.. haa.. A much nicer term i guess... and my aunt's fren which has been an uncle to me or well.. i hav always regarded as an uncle, came too.. he said stuff about his fren being in Spain now.. As in *Wow*.. Can u believe it? Its my dreamland.. The place where i definitely wan to migrate to.. *psst* If i can lo... I nearly swooned when i heard how he said bout the bullfights there... And, it pushes me.. motivates me to learn more about Spainish... To at least not let the books i buy stay at the shelves for the dust to live on... And, one day.. jus one day.. i might be given a teensy chance to realise my little dream of going to Spain... And, jus one day... i will be able to converse fluently in the language of romance and awe.

But, well.. in following my dreams.. let me tell you another one of my big dream... Yet, this is a dream which i will not be able to accomplish, ever... Not even a remote chance or a glimmer of hope.. Do u realise how disappointing is that? How grave the current situation is? haa.. ok, prob not dat grave.. but jus as well... A dream crushed like an ant.. Zilch... And gone. Apparated into the skies of nothingness.. ( apologies, a bit over-rated.. and over dramatic!)

Ok, my little ambition of being a police!

"A job million of people would die for..." haa.. as if.. sorry, its an adapted sentence from --- The Devil Wears Prada... which i jus watched with rou n audrey.. haa.. Funny, witty humour with little similarity to the book.. But, don be mistaken! its great nonetheless.. The actions, music arrangement fully complements the book with much details... Though, a flick of disappointment at how much difference and how much details are left out of the movie... Like how Miranda actually turn out to be good to Andrea even when she 'Upped and go' without notice... and how Andrea managed to get a job in New York Times where she yearned to in the end.. Such a vast difference in ending too..

Opps.. sorry.. strayed from topic!

yes. Police! why in the world then? Cuz i like the awe- inspiring uniform and the 'cool' it exhudes.. i mean ok... i like its job scope too.. As i might hav mentioned somewhere in my blog too.. but anyway.. i so do not hav any fettish with uniforms.. So quit thinking that way! haa.. i jus like how those stereotypes on tv portray police as this authority figure.. So, oh well.. But, in other words.. why icant? Cuz of one thing... A foolish thing as HEIGHT! like grr...

So, quit it... shall leave it at that..

Tata..

P.s. wish me luck fer tmr...

P.p.s The Cathay is really nice.. for a shopping mall i mean.. but its kind of deserted now... haa..

wa.. i m finally back..

2006-09-11T21:07:00.000-07:00

I am back.. so great to be blogging now that i hav a new blog'face.. Not the boring old one i hav.. Sometimes really do get tired of a similar blogface.. and i guess ppl do too.. So, a fresh new one... though not one i created myself but i did play with some html codes to personalise it.. Since, i do not hav de skills as yet to create one! I m so desperately trying to learn how to create one.. Anyone willing to teach me? haas.. Oh well..

Ok, Aft such a long while away from blogger.. u guys muz be wondering what i hav been up to..( stay peeled.. tis is a long post!)

I hav been to countless interviews or rather called them.. but, well either the working hrs not suitable or they are not recruiting temp staff... Oh well.. this is jus bad... so now, no job, no cash.. Poor me..

i know ppl say money does not equate happiness but think about it... Money does in a way, makes the world goes round.. But though in another sense, without love, friendship and family, u wont be happy.. Even if u hav a mountain og gold.. unlimited priviledge to mastercards... But, there's no one to share these glories with.. So, what r all these for? HHence, in actual fact... this works both ways..

Went to the zoo just last week.. Love the animals.. ( m goin to upload to photobucket soon.. do check them out! esp the baboons..) its really fantastic.. had a really great time... Except the 'life- threatening' trip into the fragile forest which i m so glad i survived.. ahhhh... All the two 'nice' souls who almost dragged me inside.. haas.. So bad lo... I muz find smth that u guys will be scared next.. haa.. u neva noe..

And, lata goin for psf.. And ytd SgNewWave first meeting... haa.. busy man! opps.. No.. Busy Woman...

So, what's below is a review based on the book i read... Which is really great.. And, i m so goin to watch the movie.. So, for the meantime.. feast ur eyes on this little review on a great book by an even greater author.. haas... Thats all... i gotta go change n head for sch...
.....................................................................................
The devil wears prada.
Not a literary novel, Not one to get you in stitches and neither is it a chick flick.
But, this New York Times Bestseller by Lauren Weisberger is bound to keep you poring over its hems and begging for more. Take a peek at the glamour, the zilch and the fallacy of fashion with editorial and be appalled with the results you will get.
Meek, doe-eyed Andrea, fresh from college meets high- end fashion editor from Runway --- Unforeseen combination. How will Andrea survive the unrelenting pleas and cries of Miranda Priestly and face the Prada, Jimmy Choos, Vera Wang and LVs of the high- end society?
The glamour of the New York fashion industry, a job million of girls would die for, but would Andrea ever fit in the tarantula world of fashion publishing and Miranda Priestly?

A brief history of how Prada came about from http://www.designerhistory.com/ . People goes crazy over this designer brand and were willing to splurge thousands of dollars just on a pair of shoes ( where in actual fact you could just get a pair of comfy shoes off the streets..), but do they know the success story behind this high- stake fashion accessory? How the Prada label weaved its way past various designer brands vying for attention in the fashion industry?
Look down.

The Prada label was begun in 1913 by Mario Prada when he began selling shoes, leather handbags and trunks. He opened two boutiques in Milan after experience in Europe and U.S.A.
The classic Prada suitcase was made of heavy walrus skin but as plane travel made heavy suitcases impractical, the company started to make lighter bags and high quality items made of crystals, tortoise shell and wood. They also sold garments of waterproof fabrics to the U.S. However the company had gone into decline in the 1970's.
1950 Miuccia Prada was born. By her mid-20's she had a doctorate in political science and in her 30's, she was a communist. In 1970 she started making backpack bags out of waterproof fabric called Pocone.
1979 She took over the Prada family business. Since sales were down, she expanded into luxury tote bags and backpacks in black with flat classic lines, made from nylon.
1985 She launched a line of footwear for women and her first pret-a-porter clothing line, using high quality fabrics. Her clean lines gave her fame, and she came to be known for under-stated elegant garments.
1993 She received an International award from the Council of Fashion Designers of America.
1995 She won "Designer of the Year" award.
1998 Prada opened their first menswear shop in Los Angeles, USA. They also opened new Prada stores in Manhattan and Las Vegas, as well as Miu Miu's first North American boutique, in Los Angeles.

Prada is now an international ‘luminary’, with stores and outlets in virtually every country in the western realms. A multi- million venture raking deep- end profits with its established brand name. A great market positioning statement which goes along time- Prada.

Finally..

2006-09-11T07:38:00.001-07:00

Yea.. Nicely renovated!~

More tmr...

Tata...Remember:beauty sleep.. haas..

P.s. With promises of more tmr.. Ops, but tmr will be a long day... PSF

Finally..

2006-09-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

Yea.. Nicely renovated!~

More tmr...

Tata...Remember:beauty sleep.. haas..

P.s. With promises of more tmr.. Ops, but tmr will be a long day... PSF

On revamp...

2006-09-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, this blog is now under renovation..
Will be back soon..

Patience is a virtue...
Even if sometimes patience kills..
haas..

A week of glee, flee not!

2006-08-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

Aft the minor prod, things hav become monotonous.. All those weeks and prob mths of rehearsals towards a significant goal.. its finally over, yes. But, now i m complaining that the days r kind of boring, with days either slacking at home or jus strolling down town for a breather and some 'squeezes and bumps'-- The shoppers' syndrome, they called it. But, what i m trying to convey is jus simply that.. Yes, its great to be free and all, but now it feels as though i m floating towards not a buoy, nor an anchor. But, one tink i m not complaining.. my time to be free, to be jus the way i wan it.. ( thats before i find a job..)

Ytd, psf session.. hmm.. wat do i say? well.. its been great to get back to the games and stuff.. trying out diff scripts.. And, basically jus relaxing and concentrating on havin a gd time.. Actually, there r both sides of the coin.. Having a production is great.. its as if there's smth to look forth to, to show what u hav learnt, but yet if the time between them r too short, its kind of tiring.. We don get to really immerse ourselves in the actual fun of all.. So, prob a 2 mths or 3 mths duration wud be fine.. Cuz i guess, by that time we wud be ready? i dunno.. But, lets jus assume.. At least, there's smth to look forth to..

Lastly, lata goin out wif rou.. she wans to cut her hair.. hmm.. good statement, its not even me hu's cutting.. gif me 10 gd reasons to go wif her.. haa.. cant find one.. but, nvm.. i m free anyway.. And, ok.. aft dat goin for some kinda shopping at ps? or whichever place.. And, yes.. tmr.. its teachers' day.. hmm.. or rather a pre- celebration as what the schools do every year.. And, tis yr.. i did not spend it in NC.. Oh, but that's an IF i decided not to go.. Which i m considering.. On the one hand, i feel like goin back to look at how the sch's become.. But, yet on the other hand, i don really hav the upbeat feeling of going back.. haa.. ok.. kind of contradictory.. But, who says i hav to be reasonable in my daily ramblings?

Not you, and neither I..

A week of glee, flee not!

2006-08-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

Everything has come to a closure? well.. guess it does..

2006-08-26T01:33:00.000-07:00

The exams hav ended on an ultra high note.. the results not our yet.. but i gotta be happy.. because at least its all done.. i hav my freedom... about 2 mths of long break.. Vacation is the word..

But, ytd is the real release.. yesterday minor 1 prod came to a closure.. a success.. I'm not sure bout the feedback.. but at least to me, i hav enjoyed.. i guess thats enough at least for now.. i noe i may not be the best actor, but to me if i hav given my best, i'm satisfied.. I hoped the emotion flow manage to convince the audience.. i hoped i hav not disappointed anyone.. Anyway,its over.. But, i hav to thank a lot of ppl who hav helped me along the play, who pushed me over the limits, to rake up some kind of emotions in me.. My Heroes:Dennis for his help in bringing up my emo( though he's 'jokes' r so lame.. haas), Shad for those sessions u spent coaching us ,thanks.., and to shron, kris and kim and my SM.. haas.. u guys were wonderful in coaching me.. A big bow to my heroes.. haas..
And, well thanks partner..

When i first get onto the stage, the audience appear menacing... its really 'woah'.. i noe tis is not the first time i'm on stage, i shld not be nervous, but hey.. every experience on stage is different.. Butterflies in the stomach is jus normal.. NORMAL.. But, i realise one gd tink bout controlling nervousness-- look at someone u noe, who's not the first time watching this play..haas.. at least i noe these ppl wont laugh.. But, its really nerve- wrecking yet i shall contradict myself to say that i hav really enjoyed myself.. As what Mr. 'green apple' said: " whats most impt is to enjoy urself on stage..".. I rem tis instructor from sec sch always said this to us before we go on stage.. And, i guess its really true..

Aft the whole tink, everyone was in total exhilaration.. We hav mega feasting on pizza and kfc.. a long table.. kind of like LAST SUPPER.. the da vinci painting.. but, its not.. cuz PSF still hav a long way to go.. as long as the word committment is there, passion is there and dedication there.. haas.. cant wait for next week training session.. i always luv trainings cuz there r games... drama games always make my day!

Lastly, thanks to those who came to support me.. really appreciate it.. it really does make a difference!

If there's something i wud rather do..

2006-08-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

Ice cream really helps when u r down..
It did for me.

Sometimes we bother too much bout how ppl look at us,
only to find that we don necessarily enjoy the moments.

We only get to live once for who we are,
It's only right that we get to enjoy the one chance, right?

When i listen to the farmiliar voice,
the words reverberating my surroundings,
I know its you.

Ok, so yea... in jus an hr or so, i m setting out for sch.. for my final exam.. medsoc... well, its actually the onli exam we hav.. excluding marketing test, that is... And aft which, no more sch for me.. but the down side will be of rehearsals.. BUt, hey.. they are so much better than exams.. I'm sure those who are having exams now will agree wif me, no less..

guess i will go prepare for sch now... And catch some cool video fottages at youtube.. ha.. tata..

The day is looming..

2006-08-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

Weeks turn into nights, days turn into fall... Everything goes by in a blur of an eye.. And, minor 1 production is approaching soon.. real soon.. i din even realise it but nxt week is already the big day.. The day where all our efforts for the past one mth or so will be showcased.. The day where we hav to put our best forth.. to make our first production a success.. After this, a well-deserved break will be great! i mean it..

But, before this,there are still rehearsals, bump-ins?( actually, just knew what this word meant.. teeheee..)And, throughout all this, i hav to thank so many ppl who coach me on my acting.. on my free-expression, on my body language.. All these ppl who made my performance kind of better as compared to previous failed attempts.. Be it personal coaching or group.. it helps.. haas..

I really wish and wish that this whole tink will turn out fine.. I don want these ppl whose efforts to help me, be wasted.. i don wan the hrs spent on this play, be wasted.. i don want to give a bad performance, to disappoint everybody.. So, i hav to gif it my best shot.. right?

Some people ask why i keep joining drama..
Is it that i love drama that much?
But, the first step when i joined ELDDS
its actually because of slacking
Now, the second step
towards PSF..
I realise, its not a word as simple as slacking anymore..
Well, it might be that there's no room for slacking here,
BUt, the real reason to me might be that i hav truly learnt..
to like drama..
Or i love to watch theatre plays..haas

In drama.
everyone has a plethora of faces,
everyone different and unique.
On stage,
you are a different somebody,
you get to experience the various emotions.
Just for that minute, that second..
you get to be in another's shoes.
In real life,
its different from reel life.

Enjoyment.Excitement. Exuberence = Drama

Before and After...

2006-08-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

A few more days before i turn 17...
Reflections on the past year:

.. i took my first job at F.C.U.K
.. enjoyed my time at IRAS
.. took my 'o' level results
.. passed my maths n a.maths for once
.. left NCHS
.. made my choice of joining Ngee Ann Poly, Mass Communications
.. first day of school
.. a let down towards someone
.. a surprise declaration
.. joining Poly Stage F'Actor
.. debut performance in PSF
.. made lots of great frens
.. lost some close contacts
.. realise the importance of friendship
.. exploring the night Singapore
.. enjoying the fireworks

I asked myself... did i truly enjoy myself this past year, these past months? i only hav the answer: a mixture of both. Sometimes the weeks can stretch where my life is as plain as broth, sometimes the days will be as glorious as the next... Before i came to realise, around 4 mths of poly life has gone by in a blur... many happy and sad moments... i hav gained and lost... Disappointments and longings.. smiles and laughters...

When i look at the people who throughout all this upheaval, still remained close to my heart.. i wonder if i shld hav a smile plastered upon my face or shld i shake my head in disappointment at the loss? Those who are there, and those who aren't.. As long as i know you, a fren u hav became..

To those i hav hurt unintentionally, i can only offer my apologies.. I hav no idea what the future offers and what i will hav to encounter.. but, is there really a tink as forever? i really do not know.. but, its really in the pits to know that i caused heartache.. don drop a tear because i m not worth it? With partings come heartache, with new lease come laughter.. besides wishing for your happiness, tell me what else i can do.. leave everything to fate... i believe in destiny..

If ever a listening ear is needed, i will be there..
This is a promise.

The Photos galore...

2006-08-14T00:10:00.000-07:00

Our dear Mr. bird, along the shores of Singapore river...

See our pictures on a slab of concrete.. They carved our pictures there like famous celebs... Haas..

See the creation... nothing much but kind of enjoyed doing it...
To capture the moments of the night..

Our debut performance! haas..

To be in amazement or bewilderment?

2006-08-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

I guess i hav not been much of a frequent blogger u wud call now.. I used to be.. But, thats well before all the tests and assignments, projs and rehearsals roll in.. Now, finally.. i can take a breather.. There's still de last medsoc exam but at least marketing is over, projs all done, last presentation on webgraph left... I hav the whole of nxt week free, only goin back for one day presentation, and cca... (grr..)... So, i m singing at the top of my lungs now.. soaring to freedom! the bliss of peppering music!

Ok, lets take a walk down memory lane...

Last week, graphcom presentation was *bleugh*. The comments given were kind of harsh, but it seems that they do this to most groups.. BUt, yet... Its our first afterall... kind of disappointing aft all the hard work we hav gone thru.. Or ok, credit given that most stuff r last min.. but, before going into the room.. everything was just fine.. even feel prepared.. but, were trashed the moment we give out our namecards... AS in, duh...

Next, webgraph.. is Michele's last day... he's leaving.. prob goin back to finland? or Italy? Forgot where's he from... Somewhere between the 2? And, he was kind of telling us his story.. life story? haa.. But i was listening in and out.. so only get to catch bits and little.. But, conclusion.. he's a nice guy.. a good lecturer.. But, the words cool and funky seem to fit him more.. And, he travels.... I wish i cud do that someday.. travel around the world.. the wonders and the magnificence..

Ok, then sat, which is ytd as a matter of fact, is the big marketing test!! The test most 'anticipated'.. the one i don even hav the time to study for.. what with rehearsals and all.. reaching home at 11 plus.. staying back at sch for projwork.. But, well aft late nights and all.. the day finally came and the test was over in 2 hrs.. yipee.. I mean its not that i hav absolute confidence i will do well since i hav 6 marks deducted already.. just for some wrong illustration... But well.. at least the worst is over? and only one exam left and i will be free to rise.. free to do whatever i wan for like 2 mths...

Ok, then aft marketing test, went ot watch-- My Super Ex-Girlfriend... Kind of lame to a certain extent.. And, almost paid extra for a tic.. good tink the ticketing guy rem me.. if not one movie ticket's worth of money will fly away.. *woots!*
" u mean the big rock?"
"no, the ham.."
(looks at him)
"of course, its the rock..."
Ok.. this is the funny part but u muz be dere to watch lo.. Its kind of bland to say it like dat..But, to tink that aft the movie.. we went to this korean shop.. and, i told someone by the name of haz(coughs).. that i m the 100th person to com into the shop so i gt a pack of rice free and she actually believed..Den chingui actually play along wif me saying that we hav a 20 dollars voucher too.. and we wan to buy ice creams.. And, hazizi actually say we buy other stuff first cuz the ice cream will melt.. oh my.. this is seriously hilarious... I had such a gd laugh..

In the evening went to meet cheng n rou to watch fireworks at esplanade.. woah... The first time snce pri 5 that i actually get to see fireworks live.. Exploding all over the night skies.. erupting volcano spewing lava... contrasting night sky...Its as if ur heart is soaring as u watch the fireworks dancing its own footwork in the sky.... As it grows bigger, my heart swelled.. the exhilaration is really at its peak...

But, aft that, when we try to make our way back home.. prob!!! we kind of gt lost when we try to walk to clarke quay mrt.. We almost toured the whole singapore: parliament hse, supreme court, padang, firestation, clarke quay pubs, singapore river... And, we found a nice ice cream stall.. Gelato dunno wat lo.. ha.. so yummy...

Lastly, i seriously met a lot of ppl ytd... jai and Ningxi from IRAS... Met jai at orchard dere n we talked.. And ningxi at suntec and she still tink i m lost lo.. wa... den met VEFFECTS family... asked them for directions but like a lot of help.. ha.. But, thanks anyway.. Nice meeting u guys!! Its such an amazing tink... Among the sea of ppl, among the diff faces, we found each other..

Fate is really an amazing tink.. They find u at the moments u least expected.. If u believe in fate, u will see that its really there.. its true.. Sometimes we don treasure ppl close to us, but when they leave, u hope and hope to see them again.. even if its jus for a glimpse.. And, when we really meet, its fate that draws us together.. If we don, well... its jus clear that fate is not wif us.. But, putting too much on fate is not really sane i guess.. Its jus smth nice to hold onto..

Its all i can say..

2006-08-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

Another day at home.. another day of boredom? fret not.. i hav tons of projs at hand.. tmr there's a big marketing presentation that's worth 30% of the whole module's marks.. And the worse tink being that i cant even go to sch n discuss with my grp members.. feel totally unprepared for tmr.. Like an eagle scouring for its prey, i can't find mine.. whats more, tmr first day returning to sch aft 3 days of mc, and hav late rehearsals.. With a 'throaty' voice like mine.. i don even noe if i can make it happen.. Tests, exams, projs.. everything has been rubbing me all this week.. Is it time to take a flight?

I wish for this week to end.. for everything to come to an end.. at least nxt week, there will be no lectures and prob some of the tutorials too? nxt week will be all at home studying and rushing projs and tying those loose ends..i suppose.. but, i dunno for sure..

grumbling..

Staring into space... ( msn messages keep bekoning me1 argh..)

i wan to sleep.. i m turning into a grouchy old fella.. lack of sleep..

heavy dosage of med does this sometimes.. Careful: heavy duty calls! Ok, enough of all this kinda dumb ramblings.. i need to get to work, i need to focus, i need to tear myself away from blogger, i need to wait for my camera to finish charging before i can take my own pics n send to pearlyn for gracom, need to wait for the rest to tell em what they hav discussed for marketing, need to study for a possible retest for locvid which i m warned is deadly... Tell me, what else can i not do?

Excuse my mad ramblings once again..

P.s.disappointed in you.. my fren..

Just feeling kind of crappy...

2006-08-01T03:35:00.000-07:00

Thought everything's fine jus a moment ago,
but its not ever.
thought i belonged,
But, apparently i'm lost.

I tried to hold on,
a belief,
that message's lost in transition.
That this is not ignorance,
and everything will be fine.

Fit as a fiddle.

I opened the valves,
letting you in.
But you did not stay,
Yet, you left a gaping wound.

Who are true and who aren't?

Sick...

2006-07-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

at home instead of being in sch.. i m not trying to play truant though.. i wud much like to go to sch instead of being accompanied by greadful medicine.. As predicted from my last post, i fell sick.. as in really high fever at a burning 38 plus.. the highest being 39.1.. went to the doc.. but the fever has still yet subsided..And its already the second day.. feeling sick jus ruins everything.. Cant even keep any food down.. Lingering bitter taste of the medicine in the mouth.. argh.. i hav a wish.. a wish to get better.. cuz i noe feeling sick adding to monday blues are just horrid.

Tons of projs to do.. webgraph flash assignment.. graphcomm business cards n photos,marketing presentation n exam, medisoc exam, locvid editing of final proj.. The worse thing being that i cant even get started on any of the above as i m feeling real drowsy from all those med.. But alas, i need to complete them.. And, on top of that, i hav psf production to worry my head off.. i m not a gd actor.. i cant act for goodness sake.. y m i chosen always remains a mystery.. But since i m chosen, its my responsibility to play the role well n immerse myself within.. IS it hte prob of no chemistry? or does the prob lies with me? I cant really handle emotional stuff.. prob that's de reason y icant get into the role as i wud like to.. Looking at my performance, i feel as if i m watching Singapore's idols elimintaion rounds.. I cringed when i look back at my own performance.. that bad.. Yes, i know saying this is not a good PR for the production.. but that's just the way things r.. As quoted from my cousin:" Time is not enough to do my part well..". how true is this?

resigned at: 12.10 pm/am

Long Week, Long trial..

2006-07-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

I shall not dwell much on the everyday stuff like lectures, tutorials.. but rather the more significant ones? as u call it? The days are getting long and tiring but i shall move on.. It just isnt right to stay on and ramble about the bricks and mortar in life.. Because you and I know that everybody faces the same thing.. So why bother?

Starting from Tuesday PSF session.. I only memorised my script on my way dere.. some of my lines r not even imprinted in my brain.. i meant to read thru them on the way to psf but.. well.. guilt- ridden, i fell asleep.. So, i went dere kind of unprepared.. but lo and behold..i don hav to rehearse dat dat.. My partner in 'crime' has to go off early for some stuff i guess.. Phew! a near escape.. So, i thoroughly enjoyed jus sitting dere and watching..

wed, apart from the CATS presentation where we din even meet up once to discuss.. we kind of pulled it off.. at least i tink we did.. or someone pls correct me if i'm wrong.. And, its oso de last volleyball session.. that was sad.. Everybody seem so sad that we hav to part.. The module ended but the frenship we forged during these few mths, esp during the competition.. never forgotten.. Though i wont say i know how to play volleyball in a competition, but the basics i hav grasped..

And, in the evening.. went to celebrate cheng's b'dae.. at pizza hut.. we goofed n talked.. created a din and given the third- degree? by the staff? and irritate the public? I wonder.. But, most importantly we had tons of fun.. Its been a long time since we met up.. the four of us.. Its been great how things work.. we still hav lively banter and gushy exchanges.. ok..this is kind of chummy but i hav to say this: " Knowing you guys hav been great...". The day when we sat with each other at lunch, the magic has already happened!

Thurs, kind of a bad day.. i wud rather not say bout it.. jus hav to brush up on my acting skills.. Jus disappointed in myself.. Or is it the prob of chemistry? But, anyway.. hav to thank dennis for dropping me off though u live kind of far from me? ha.. Oh, and for the Pocky too! cheers! haa..

Fast forward to fri.. went to watch LakeHouse.. a gingundoly nice movie.. triple thums-up... but, i don really understand the story.. it jus doesnt make sense i guess.. How can the girl sit at the same spot with time not moving and the guy's side 2 yrs has passed and he miracuously appear n re- unite wif her? And, how come the guy can come back from being dead? argh.. Ananlysing.. but still dumbfounded.. prob i shld watch another time.. cuz the story is really nice.. jus dat i don understand? The music is great too.. Jus kinda analytical.. Or wait.. did the time stop on both sides? well.. neva noe..oh.. and same week, second b'dae.. haa.. happy bithday to Chingui.. hee.. hope u like the prezzie.. Sorry.. i'm bad at wrapping.. so.. well.. but ytd was fun.. Apart from the fact where we 3 'lunatics' hav to run to make it in time for the movie.. Trust me.. neva ever go into a movie theatre if u r late.. cuz its embarrassing.. all heads swivelled to look at u..

Concluding this long post.. i m so goin to fall sick soon.. Coughing now.. And with rehearsals to go.. i dunno wat will happen..

P.S. Mafia Night on the roll..

How my filming goes..

2006-07-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

filming schedule goes like this:
1100- meet up at causeway pt with the rest..
1200+- reach Sarah's hse to prepare for filming
1300- fiddled with camera and sound equip( and the sound equip is really problematic..)
1400- started filming scene 1
1500+- ended scene one ONLY
( food break, nice food by sarah's mom..)
1600- filming for scene 3 n 4 starts..
1800+- finally finish both the scenes
1830- last scene
2000+- finish everything.. wrap up..

Oh my.. this is kind of a one day thing.. totally drained..felt like a stone.. eyelids heavy, throbbing headache.. everything's taking a toll.. Looking back at the past week, are there even phases in them? just yearned for a break, even if its jusst for a moment..

If you believe, you will see the green glow of happiness..
Is it that if i believe, i will see the miracle?

In the world of lovers, time stands still.
from that moment on, i made a promise
to protect her.
With this i gave you my promise.
you are my princess..
- william

Isn't this gorgeous?
I know that in real life things don always happen as we wish,
but, just for a moment..
Can we prolong the fairytale?
Can we wish for a fairyland?

When we are young,
we dreamt about princes and princesses
nothing matters more than just our prized possession- a teddy?
No crisis in the world seem to be able to penetrate
our dreamland..

No disputes, no misgivings
No complications.

As the earth obits,
as economic recession, natural disasters plagued our home
to a child,
its nothing.

Can we turn the hands back?

p.s. volleyball competition lata.. wish me luck!

Redirection..

2006-07-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

Its been kind of a long while since i last blogged.. A week? or maybe more.. that's the longest period of time i hav gone without blogging.. Why? everything boils down to one main concern: time. Some days i wished a day consists of 36 hrs instead of a mere 24 hrs.. Too much to do, too little time to accomplish the tasks delegated. Time is not enough to do my part.. Talk about 8 hrs of sleep? forget bout it.. its not possible..

For this past week, how has it been like for me? Staying till late everyday aft sch, slogging my guts out for tests( though only one!) and projs, melting my script for psf first minor production... one word-- School! I m starting to hav no life.. I know these hav been going on for a while.. And, they might be jus nonsensical ramblings to others, but argh.. this is jus insane..

But...

When things start to lose their gravity, i stopped. I pondered. What are the things i like about this school? There, i found it! I recalled.. the first week of sch, i was like a lost sheep waiting to be herded and now, this sheep has found its way home.. I stripped down my defences, away from all the sercurities i hav in my life then.. to venture into NP on my own.. I hate the distance.. I hate how big the school is( opps, cuz i get lost easily.. haa).. I hate how different everything is.. I hate how i hav no farmiliar faces to tie me back to the past.. I hav a much hated life then..

But, it is this moment that really made me perk up again.. After that initial first week, things start to pick up.. I realised that though there r projects n datelines to be met, i kind of enjoyed what i m doing.. Though some stuff i m not good at, but the interest is there, the passion is there. Just like one of our production -- L.A.M.E... ( shall not divulge any details here.. but don judge by the name.. haa..). And, not forgetting a bunch of funky, lame , over- the- top and spunky friends.. With these ppl, anything can happen.. ( u neva noe when a hand's coming out from somewhere.. to..) ok... well, its jus different.. And, in this difference, I feel at ease.. not the 'lonely' soul i was then..

I have a dove,
who loves to bath,
After the bath,
it huffs and puffs.
After huffing and puffing,
it eats cream puff..

ok, this is the kind of crappy and spontaneous thing that will occur when u r with this bunch of people.. Just random..

Next, how can i ever leave out psf? they too play a crucial part in my life in NP.. once i settled down... When u join a club, suddenly there's this sense of connection, of belonging.. its as if, u noe there's this bunch of ppl hu r in the same place as u.. Walking around the campus doesn't seem so bad afterall.. Last thurs session, in the 'sauna'.. haa.. we ran thru the play.. i melted the lines jus 2 hrs before.. I dunno if its due to worrying bout the lines that affected the performance or what.. BUt, i agree that our play is seriously not up to mark.. I m not into the character.. As what Dennis said, yea.. we r kind of robotic.. no emotions r played.. instead we kind of downplayed the whole emotional scence.. it might be that this is the first time i m acting something emotional.. I jus need more time.. i make a promise to myself.. now.. from this moment on.. i will get into the characte asap.. i will do what's required of me.. i noe i m not a gd actor.. i m not good at conveying my emotions.. but, since i m casted this role, i feel that i hav a sense of responsibility to complete it.. to do it well.. I'm willing to work on it..

Why do i always end up being in drama? sec sch years and now this.. my stepping stone, my reason for joining drama in sec sch is a plain-- " there r no auditions". And now, i hav grown to love theatre.. i love watching.. That's y i noe i m not a good actor.. But, well.. i jus love being part of it.. Don always hav to be a bright star, a production takes more than a single hand.. everyone plays a part..

Ok, lastly.. i hav filming this sunday.. even my sundays r robbed of me.. my pleas of help were ignored! nah.. jus kidding.. well, just get it over with.. there r more projs to come.. so y not? And, i m playing with the 'fishpole' and the mic now.. Except.. prashant take the slate away.. evil evil.. i wan to play wif it.. its kind of cool.. how often do u get to play wif equipment that film directors use? See.. this is MCM! life here jus rules.. for the fun part anyway! haa..

ok.. signing off.. hav a great day ppl!
listen to teddy geiger..
watch the last episode of green forest, my home..
watch lakehouse!

P.S. national day! (woah.. when did i become so patriotic?)

A random rambling..

2006-07-12T01:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, i know i said that in my previous post that life's kind of a bore at the moment.. But, i meant thr routine of my life.. how everything, every week and every single day jus stays the same.. I mean well.. some people wud prefer life to lead on this way, with no shocks and surprises.. at least u won't hav to be in constant apprehension at what's going to happen next.. Imagine, if one's a klutz then won't he or she be living in a zone of fear at what kind of mishap will be falling on them next? So, i guess its a good tink? But, come to think of it.. If life's really l;ike that, where you always now what's up next.. then there will be no element of surprise.. Its kind of dull.. Ain't it so? Jus working with the clock, 24/7.. so, i guess this issue is really debatable.. people want surprises, but to what extent?

Ok, I will move on to the photoshoot.. Its terrible? I really wonder how models and artistes are able to withstand it.. Photoshoot.. Ok, well.. probably i'm jus not used to this kinda tink. So, yes.. last psf session.. oh as a matter of fact, is ytd.. We had a photoshoot for our play.. So, we can hav some broshures and stuff i guess? And, oh my.. its like a whole day tink.. I din expect it.. I thot its jus gonna be a take one and go off kind of tink.. BUt, alas... no way! we posed and smiled, smiled and posed... Snaps and Snaps, shutters and lights keep going off.. well, we are suppossed to bring 2 sets of clothes but apparently i forgot bout it.. argh.. So sorry for the trouble caused.. But, well anyway.. finally its over.. yipee! but.. lo and behold, jus saw tis email from dennis.. he wans to re shoot the formal wear shot.. woah! that's like.. hmm.. no comments.. ha..

Time has rolled round and projects datelines are up..or well.. on the way to.. everything snowballed into one big lump. There's no room for breathing, no nothing.. web graph webpage design due tis fri wif formal presentation-- and we hav not started work on it.., locvid script due tis fri and not done too, CATS presentation stuff due nxt week n not done too, marketing quiz next week not done too, medisoc interview edit due next mon not done too, graph comm logo design due nxt week not done too... hmm, is this considered 'little'? woah.. dat's y they say a mass- commer is always busy.. Every cca or lecturer expects mass- commers to not be very punctual at activities.. Tell ppl u r a mass- commer, one word they will associate with will be 'Apple' or 'projects'! when are we not tired?

Lastly, i hav to say.. i really don understand y zidane headbutted that Italy guy.. I mean ok.. he might say some ugly stuff that he an't take in very well.. but, it really a pity.. he ended his career in this manner, not with pride and dignity.. During the match, i supported Italy..( partly, cuz France sent Portugal out of the world cup..ha). Though i was happy they won i nthe end, i kind of rooted for zidane too.. not for the team as a whole because i don quite like ribery, but him in particular.. He's filled with an aura of a capable leader and a good sportsman.. He leads the team this far and was just a glitch from winning the title.. I'm proud of him! And, when i saw how he headbutted the Italy player.. my first reaction was utter shock and disbelief..My heart fell when he was sent off from the field.. its really a pity..considering its his last match ever.. Newspapers even wrote ugly headlines like: " He ended his career in disgrace", when they were jus singing his praises a few days ago.. what is this? that's so unfair.. Oh wel.. its over.. The teams i love most are still : " england, portugal and spain...". And, sadly for beckham, he handed over his captain armband.. He's a gd leader.. he's dignified in the way a captain shld, he stands out in the way a leader shld and weeps like a hero does. Everyone puts the blame of the failure of England on his shoulders, but is it really his fault? I though soccer is about team spirit? i believed his days are not over yet.. we muz all hav faith!

excitement? nope...

2006-07-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

I really feel like screaming now.. I m feeling so bored.. so terribly bored with everything.. There's nothing exciting to arouse my enthusiasm.. nothing at all.. Everything is jus like a piece of plain paper with no rough cuts, no smudges.. How boring can things go?

Though there r normal sch stuff dat needs my attention, like locvid script, web graph webpage, graph comm logo design, medisoc interview n marketing studying... not forgetting my script.. I guess there r a lot of stuff at hand, but its jus that my heart is not in it.. i don really feel this strong pull to finish them... nothing at all.. But, jus a dull in everyday routine..

I'm looking for excitement.. i wan to try new stuff.. i wan to learn roller- blading... so i can ice skate... i wan to go for training as camp facilitator.. i wan to join new stuff.. reaching new distances.. I wan all these.. can i fulfil them during my 7 weeks vacation?

i wished everything will stop soon..

2006-07-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

Things are kind of going crazy in my schedule.. everything is piling up.. higher and higher with each passing day.. It doesn't seem to stop for a breather.. It's like a machine, collecting all my assignments everyday.. never stopping in its path..Finding solutions has been hard.. Working on them even tougher.. One day, it will all cease to exist.. At that time, will i den be truly happy? I hav no idea.. But, sometimes busying yourself is not such a bad idea.. at least it keeps ur mind from wondering..

Projects streaming in.. name it! Rehearsals flowing in all directions..

And talking about the last rehearsal, i m kind of tired n drained esp aft a long day.. So, i guess.. my expression was quite monotonous.. i kind of tune out what's been said.. ha.. kind of feeling bad.. but, i m really tired.. I din do well partly cuz of dat.. or rather i m jus a bad actor? That's for u guys to decide but i jus feel dat i din give my best shot.. i worry too much about how others view me.. I din get into the character like i m suppossed to.. like two poles apart..

I want to try it again.

Don't follow me
Don't read into me
Don't be there
Don't say things that are redundant
Don't.. Pls don't do this to me..

It's enough..
Just let things stop,
let things go..

Let me off.
This is doing nobody any good..
Nobody. Nothing. Zilch.

P.s. The 9pm police show ended! a sad ending.. why? i hate it.. sad endings.. But, the guy was sweet bout it! at least its smth..

A rough week.. in and out!

2006-07-05T00:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, i guess its been quite sometime since i updated.. Or not really..3 days? hmm.. i guess shld be around dere.. i hav been slogging my guts out for sch.. i m dead serious bout it.. i don even hav time for a proper rest.. not even time to really complete my assignments.. i m still trying to now.. Wonder wat i hav been busying wif at sch?

mon- lectures all day long, attempted to find mr. emilio for digitising but..
tues- locvid where we did our digitising n export back to tapes.. there's tis sense of accomplishment when u see ur video being shown, yea? And, of cuz for de nxt part of the day.. yes.. psf..( will elaborate on dat lata..)
wed- today.. aft psf which ended lata n i went home late... hav to crawl up extra early today for sports n wellness.. Volleyball! wa.. And apparently, there is a competition, inter-class tink to mark de end of the module.. takes place 2 weeks from now.. And its COMPULSORY! wat is this? i m really bad at it.. i tink i m so going to embarass myself on dat day.. yikes! And we formed a team called -- I- BALLS! haa.. its kind of comical.. well..

Ok, next.. move on to psf.. i hav a whole lot of rumblings bout it.. Ok, as in my previous posts, i mentioned bout psf's minor production.. ok.. So, its decided on 3 short plays.. One on Army Daze, One on Virtual Vs Reality and lastly L.A.M.E.. de last 2 created by Dennis.. Ok, n ytd we were sort of suppossed to audition for de roles.. Or rather we were chosen to audition de roles.. And,i was chosen to audition for the play --Virtual Vs Reality.. Before dat, i shall write bout the sypnosis first..

Sypnosis: girl meets boy in IRC. They arranged to meet up. It about how a naive teenage girl meets the guy and didn't realise his true colours till...

There r like onli 2 characters in tis whole script.. And the script is like 12 whole pages where i hav to appear on every scene.. Can u believe dat? And, after de auditions, i m selected, at least for now... depending on whether i will skip too much sessions.. yea.. But, i seriously cant believe how i m selected.. during the audition, first round i m so monotonous dat even dennis cant bear to watch i guess.. But, when the male lead's changed he wans me to go over it again.. n apparently he feels its better.. ( though i feel no diff.. i m still as bad.. ) but, all in all i m selected.. But, its like 12 pages... So many lines.. Ok, 4 yrs in drama in NCHS, when did u guys ever see me wif such a long script? none rite? So, this came as a huge shock.. Not adding dat the storyline is like... dots..

What happens on stage belongs on stage. Whatever feelings and emotions involved only ends when the director calls for wrap- up for the day. Professionalism perceives that-- On the stage, do your best. Get out of character once its done!

I did not change. i never will. The things that change are the times apart. The first time i m not decisive enough, the second hurts even more.. i hav never thot of changing nor am i not what i used to be.. i don't noe what suffices that makes this statement true to u but if ever i did, pls let me noe straight. Letting everything go.. i believe its time.. it not dat i don hold on to the past but will holding on make any difference? It won't be the same again.. Its hard, n i m no hypocrite to say it doesn't mean a thing.. letting go is not easy for me too..

This is getting way out of control.. Things don work out on its own anymore.. I wished this week will end soon..

Why must England lose?

2006-07-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

The first piece of news i got when i woke up in the morning was that england lost... Lost to Portugal.. How can this be true? I mean.. credit to Portugal having Rolnado back on the team and England losing Michael Owen n Beckham due to injury, and Rooney being sent off as he's unable to curb his anger.. His recklessness might be the cause for the team's dismissal from the world cup champioship... but, England is not supposed to lose.. At least not now... well.. well.. All's been done, the plates can never be turned back again.. Goodbye England.. have a good rest! U guys were wonderful anyway.. Sometimes mishaps just have a way of catching u off- guard.. Nvm.. gear up for the next world- cup den.. Do not despair..

Adios...

Long long week, Long Long time..

2006-07-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

Is this the first week aft sch reopens? hmm.. seems to be.. I forgot de dates anyway.. Or rather, it doesn't really feel like sch reopen.. As though the break is nonexistence. back to school, nothing really changes.. the lecturers still the same, the food still tasty* at the clubhouse*, the people just like you and me.. And lastly, the projects jus as much.. You wud tink that before de much- deserved 2 weeks break where we rushed thru all de datelines, aft de break everything wud be much easier.. But, apparently not in tis case.. the projects r still piling up, with datelines jus as pressing and finals approaching..

Marketing: final marketing plan to be presented(formal)
Medisoc: term papers & interview assignment
webgraph: test on dreamweaver n photoshop( done ytd), design a website for our company
graph comm: design bus ads, business name card, posters..( all for our green tea proj.. y does it keep haunting us? hmm..)
Cats: present our product plus designing
Sports and wellness: haa.. ok.. a volleyball match
Location video prod: current editing proj n upcoming major project

see? this is life.. School rumblings on n off..

Today, nothing much in store for me.. Jus some lazing around near de neighbourhood.. went to shop for some stuff at hm.. there r like tons of new stuff dere.. though mostly food.. hmm.. makes me wonder.. R they trying to turn the place into a food haven or the next 'newton circus'.. haa.. Fastfoods like long john's, mac. kfc, pepper lunch.. Restaurants like cafe cartel, iciban sushi, orange lantern restaurant, magic wok international buffet, soup restaurant n some others.. woah... alll so yummmy but wif a hefty price to pay.. Well, there's always the food court.. but wif all de delicacies hu wud even pay attention to the food court? hee.. Woah.. M i like a food critic here? hmm..

Oh.. and i went to get a haircut today.. haa.. i hav been saying dat i wan to cut my hair since forever but jus dat i m a tad lazy to really fulfil this want.. But, todae i jus thot of cutting n spontaneously went into the hairdresser.. haa.. And i hav to wait like forever.. around 45 mins jus for a cut.. Blame it on ppl having all sorts of treatment for their hair.. some perm, some dye haie, some rebonding.. wa.. takes forever.. And finally my turn came.. And after some snips n snaps, lo n behold.. shorter hair!!! ha.. lighter i guess.. but overall ont much diff except maybe the fringe which is really too short.. argh.. Every trip to the hairdresser always ends up bad.. haa..

Oh.. and now i m so smitten with the show Green Forest, My Home.. super nice.. I wan the songs inside.. jus so great.. Planned to get the soundtrack album fer it but still considering whether its worth it..But, its really fab.. Nice music somemore.. ok, though i guess u cant really judge from my point of view, since i m a basket for drama idols.. haa.. But, muz believe me.. gif it a trial.. its super..I'm loving it..

Is this my path?

2006-06-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Maybe, jus maybe... this is not my way.
Not the path that truly belongs to me..
not the one i m seeking for..

The bright lights no longer beckon,
the ground no longer calls,
the place i once belonged
no longer there..

Am i disillusioned?
Are all that i hav
a mirage?
Jus part of my fictional imagination,
a dream tucked at the seams.

Maybe, jus maybe
this is not what i am.

Tues-
terrible terrible day.. As from my previous blog entry, i was supposed to head to bugis to meet up with the dj.. for my interview.. And, well.. we r sort of considered late meeting her as she was already dere when we reached.. First 'no' in an interview: never make your interviewee wait.. utter disrespect! And next, its worse... When we start to record, i was sort of in a jumble, prob due to the rushing and all.. so i m not my composed self.. (though i m usually not that composed either..)So, ok.. next came the worse tink.. THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT in my life... We have to re- record due to technical glitch which is oso one of the main prob dat fateful day.. Ok, n during the re- record, i called the dj by the wrong name- her colleague's name in front of the cam, n to her face.. i din even realised that till when all eyes were on me.. wa.. i seriously blushed right down to my veins.. this is so bad.. i tink its due to before the recording, i keep hearing my fren saying about this dy.. n this piece of info sort of got imprinted in my mind.. So, yes... i feel so terribly downcast aft which... totally screwed up..

So, the four of us went to take neoprints! Its been a while since i hav taken neoprints.. And we tried 2 machines.. And, the effect was super hilarious.. Everything turned out to be.. hmm... ok.. But, coming to the next climatic part- my fren lost her phone, is a sony erricson walkman phone.. super ex i guess,, And, aft we came out onli 2 grps of ppl went in.. n we went forth to sk this particular grp if they saw it.. And the 2 girls said no.. We requested the shopkeeper to search their bags.. i noe this may seem very rude but its really necessary during that time.. We hav no choice.. I kind of feel bad out it n prepared myself to hearing the bad news of not being able to find.. Buy lo and beholdm, its in the girl's bag.. And she returned to us. without the hint of remorse.. And saying this dumd line: " i jus wan to teach u(my fren) a lesson, cuz my cousin oso leave her things around.. so, i kept ur phone to see what happens.." this blatant daylight theft masked over by this outright lie.. Does she think we are three yrs olds?Good tink we din pursue the matter, or dat person will end up in jail.. prob revengeful.. i hav never experienced smth so bad happen to any one of my fens or me..

Jus why r ppl jus so petty? selfish? Can't they think of what the consequences r of stealing? What good does education serves them then, if this is the kind of morals they hav.. Teach us a lesson? y not try teaching urself first?

Chilling or being chilled..

2006-06-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

well, now i m in the sch lib trying to will away the time that i hav till the interview.. wondering wat interview? well.. its the interview we hav to do in medisoc, interviewing a media personnel.. And, ta-dah.. we chose a deejay from yes933.. ok, at first ireally ahv no idea who dat deejay was.. i don really listen to radio dat much as a matter o fact, but aft this i m sure i will be sort of more knowledgeable bout it? i guess? well.. but its really quite freaky talking to a complete stranger, who happens to be my senior.. haa.. so darn proud of her! ha.. i mean it.. she's gd.. i listened to one of her hosting.. and its really not bad.. Did she pick the skills up at np? well well.. finding out in a few.. But then, i hav to wait till like 3 plus.. 2 hrs away.. wa.. long long wait... And aft de interview hav to double- up back to the sch for my cca.. lasts at 9 plus* if lucky*.. well.. well.. calculate.. how long wud that take me to reach home? bingo! 10 plus.. i will step into my hse at this time.. early or wat? And the worse thing being that i hav to reach sch at 8am tmr for my dear sports n wellness class.. So much sleep..( trying to be sarcastic here..) But, i m kind of glad i gt the script out of the way.. at least its done.. well, as to whether its a good job, i hav no idea yet.. but, hopefully? tis is like my first real attempt dat i write a script fully, not in sec sch where we kind of work in a team on a script.. this is different.. which i hope is better? *fingers- crossed*

what do u say to irritation?
how do u say no?
when do we do that?
why would we do that?
Who in the world then?

Saw your actions,
felt your emotions,
been there, done that
But, are these really what they are?
what is the truth?

i want to believe,
really wanted to,
all that's said
all we've done
i wanted to..

But, in this chilly ground
the place we called home,
where flowers blossom,
seasons passed,
but you stayed..
Do i choose to believe?

Or forsake to be chilled?