Saturday, July 21, 2007
This past week was not a sane ride. It's full of bumpy roads and skewed paths. Every step I took seemed to end somewhere terrible or in some godforsakken place.
The feeling is horrible and ripped me apart inside out. Many a times, I feel like screaming or just shutting myself away from this 'dump' of a world, that's suppposed to be this hot, tropical island but turns out like some wretched demon-controlled world. Yes, i use these strong, provactive words but besides doing this, I seriously dunno what else I can do to ease that bout of strong emotions within me.
I don't want to be negative because I will seem like such a hypocrite doing it. I consoled people and tried to cheer them up. But, when actually i am the one who needs some cheering up. This is not really about stress because which sensible being in this "work-dominated" world of ours don't have?
Well, it might be the people. It might be the events. It might just be nothing and i'm just feeling rotten. I don't usually sink to that level because i believe every thing has a way out of the pothole. i still do believe. But, just not this week i guess. 'Cause it doesn't show me any mercy that every self-respecting being would have pleaded for.
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You think you are wrong in your ways.
I think I am too.
But, neither of us would make the first move,
to apologise.
It's because of that incident, ain't it?
It's because of that fateful night, not?
You caused a stir;
hollered at the top of your voice.
I stood stunned.
But, i recovered from the initial shock
And, everything seemed so surreal.
I don't even understand why it's happening.
I didn't think i was wrong.
Like every hormone-raging 17yr old,
I stood up.
And, I stopped short.
Because explanations were not necessary anymore.
The battle ensued.
I lost.
You lost.
But, what's left hanging:
A strained relationship.
And, a pair of strangers.
p.s. ignore this post. I m not even sure what i'm writing. This is quite emo. well, one can be granted the freedom of being emo once in a while, right? esp when things go awry.
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Actually, I hav no idea what this entry will be about. So, a large neon sign flasjing: DO NOT CONTINUE READING!!!
Waiting to go for Tvprod class.
In this weather where i would rather stay home and pplay 'sick'. I wish. But, nah. I guess not.
Just called sistic to check for the avaliability of Dim Sum Dollies tics and alas, it's all SOLD OUT. yea, i guess its kinda last min to say come on, let's go. But, oh well.. jh only told me ytd. So, too bad. haas.. don't be too disappointed.
This is so random.
And, it has no ANGLE or whatso ever. Sorry Tommy Wee. haas.
I'm just bored and tired at the same time.
And, i hurt my foot while playing Pepsi-Cola. How? well, I stepped on myself and now my flesh tore. It has this stinging feeling whenever i moved it. And, i hav to brave the 'waters' later. Gosh. Help. And, my foot looks so red and 'feo' (ugly). plaster marks and what not. plasters help yea: by putting black marks on my leg. Thanks so much.
randomness shall end.
Ta.
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Friday, July 06, 2007
Controversy sells or so they say.
Even writing a blog entry, you have to think of ANGLES.
Aren't blog supposed to be just some 'rubbish chutes' OR ' ranting dumpster'? Yea, like how i am suppossedly doing it now?
No, i'll have an angle for this entry: THE MOTIVATION.
Sometimes, just suddenly, I'll have this motivation; the urge to do something. To complete all the projs, to finish all the exams and the drive to just keep going.
Yes!
But, as sudden as this comes, it fades aways. Once the momentum is lost, there's nothing I would do about it. That's how dejected and just a deflated balloon i've became.
well, i do ponder over this. Is my drive to do well, because of something else? Am I trying to prove to someone I could do well? What am I trying to prove? And who to?
I'm lost. Temporary or so I say.
Am I just burdened down by expectations that people fix it on me?
"I expect you to do this this this...."
" So, this is my least expectation for you..."
But, ultimately I can get away if I want. It's my choice.
If I want out, I will go out.
But, there's this promise that I'll stay.
And, i'll.
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
(:
(: