Sunday, July 30, 2006
at home instead of being in sch.. i m not trying to play truant though.. i wud much like to go to sch instead of being accompanied by greadful medicine.. As predicted from my last post, i fell sick.. as in really high fever at a burning 38 plus.. the highest being 39.1.. went to the doc.. but the fever has still yet subsided..And its already the second day.. feeling sick jus ruins everything.. Cant even keep any food down.. Lingering bitter taste of the medicine in the mouth.. argh.. i hav a wish.. a wish to get better.. cuz i noe feeling sick adding to monday blues are just horrid.
Tons of projs to do.. webgraph flash assignment.. graphcomm business cards n photos,marketing presentation n exam, medisoc exam, locvid editing of final proj.. The worse thing being that i cant even get started on any of the above as i m feeling real drowsy from all those med.. But alas, i need to complete them.. And, on top of that, i hav psf production to worry my head off.. i m not a gd actor.. i cant act for goodness sake.. y m i chosen always remains a mystery.. But since i m chosen, its my responsibility to play the role well n immerse myself within.. IS it hte prob of no chemistry? or does the prob lies with me? I cant really handle emotional stuff.. prob that's de reason y icant get into the role as i wud like to.. Looking at my performance, i feel as if i m watching Singapore's idols elimintaion rounds.. I cringed when i look back at my own performance.. that bad.. Yes, i know saying this is not a good PR for the production.. but that's just the way things r.. As quoted from my cousin:" Time is not enough to do my part well..". how true is this?
resigned at: 12.10 pm/am
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Friday, July 28, 2006
I shall not dwell much on the everyday stuff like lectures, tutorials.. but rather the more significant ones? as u call it? The days are getting long and tiring but i shall move on.. It just isnt right to stay on and ramble about the bricks and mortar in life.. Because you and I know that everybody faces the same thing.. So why bother?
Starting from Tuesday PSF session.. I only memorised my script on my way dere.. some of my lines r not even imprinted in my brain.. i meant to read thru them on the way to psf but.. well.. guilt- ridden, i fell asleep.. So, i went dere kind of unprepared.. but lo and behold..i don hav to rehearse dat dat.. My partner in 'crime' has to go off early for some stuff i guess.. Phew! a near escape.. So, i thoroughly enjoyed jus sitting dere and watching..
wed, apart from the CATS presentation where we din even meet up once to discuss.. we kind of pulled it off.. at least i tink we did.. or someone pls correct me if i'm wrong.. And, its oso de last volleyball session.. that was sad.. Everybody seem so sad that we hav to part.. The module ended but the frenship we forged during these few mths, esp during the competition.. never forgotten.. Though i wont say i know how to play volleyball in a competition, but the basics i hav grasped..
And, in the evening.. went to celebrate cheng's b'dae.. at pizza hut.. we goofed n talked.. created a din and given the third- degree? by the staff? and irritate the public? I wonder.. But, most importantly we had tons of fun.. Its been a long time since we met up.. the four of us.. Its been great how things work.. we still hav lively banter and gushy exchanges.. ok..this is kind of chummy but i hav to say this: " Knowing you guys hav been great...". The day when we sat with each other at lunch, the magic has already happened!
Thurs, kind of a bad day.. i wud rather not say bout it.. jus hav to brush up on my acting skills.. Jus disappointed in myself.. Or is it the prob of chemistry? But, anyway.. hav to thank dennis for dropping me off though u live kind of far from me? ha.. Oh, and for the Pocky too! cheers! haa..
Fast forward to fri.. went to watch LakeHouse.. a gingundoly nice movie.. triple thums-up... but, i don really understand the story.. it jus doesnt make sense i guess.. How can the girl sit at the same spot with time not moving and the guy's side 2 yrs has passed and he miracuously appear n re- unite wif her? And, how come the guy can come back from being dead? argh.. Ananlysing.. but still dumbfounded.. prob i shld watch another time.. cuz the story is really nice.. jus dat i don understand? The music is great too.. Jus kinda analytical.. Or wait.. did the time stop on both sides? well.. neva noe..oh.. and same week, second b'dae.. haa.. happy bithday to Chingui.. hee.. hope u like the prezzie.. Sorry.. i'm bad at wrapping.. so.. well.. but ytd was fun.. Apart from the fact where we 3 'lunatics' hav to run to make it in time for the movie.. Trust me.. neva ever go into a movie theatre if u r late.. cuz its embarrassing.. all heads swivelled to look at u..
Concluding this long post.. i m so goin to fall sick soon.. Coughing now.. And with rehearsals to go.. i dunno wat will happen..
P.S. Mafia Night on the roll..
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Sunday, July 23, 2006
filming schedule goes like this:
1100- meet up at causeway pt with the rest..
1200+- reach Sarah's hse to prepare for filming
1300- fiddled with camera and sound equip( and the sound equip is really problematic..)
1400- started filming scene 1
1500+- ended scene one ONLY
( food break, nice food by sarah's mom..)
1600- filming for scene 3 n 4 starts..
1800+- finally finish both the scenes
1830- last scene
2000+- finish everything.. wrap up..
Oh my.. this is kind of a one day thing.. totally drained..felt like a stone.. eyelids heavy, throbbing headache.. everything's taking a toll.. Looking back at the past week, are there even phases in them? just yearned for a break, even if its jusst for a moment..
If you believe, you will see the green glow of happiness..
Is it that if i believe, i will see the miracle?
In the world of lovers, time stands still.
from that moment on, i made a promise
to protect her.
With this i gave you my promise.
you are my princess..
- william
Isn't this gorgeous?
I know that in real life things don always happen as we wish,
but, just for a moment..
Can we prolong the fairytale?
Can we wish for a fairyland?
When we are young,
we dreamt about princes and princesses
nothing matters more than just our prized possession- a teddy?
No crisis in the world seem to be able to penetrate
our dreamland..
No disputes, no misgivings
No complications.
As the earth obits,
as economic recession, natural disasters plagued our home
to a child,
its nothing.
Can we turn the hands back?
p.s. volleyball competition lata.. wish me luck!
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Friday, July 21, 2006
Its been kind of a long while since i last blogged.. A week? or maybe more.. that's the longest period of time i hav gone without blogging.. Why? everything boils down to one main concern: time. Some days i wished a day consists of 36 hrs instead of a mere 24 hrs.. Too much to do, too little time to accomplish the tasks delegated. Time is not enough to do my part.. Talk about 8 hrs of sleep? forget bout it.. its not possible..
For this past week, how has it been like for me? Staying till late everyday aft sch, slogging my guts out for tests( though only one!) and projs, melting my script for psf first minor production... one word-- School! I m starting to hav no life.. I know these hav been going on for a while.. And, they might be jus nonsensical ramblings to others, but argh.. this is jus insane..
But...
When things start to lose their gravity, i stopped. I pondered. What are the things i like about this school? There, i found it! I recalled.. the first week of sch, i was like a lost sheep waiting to be herded and now, this sheep has found its way home.. I stripped down my defences, away from all the sercurities i hav in my life then.. to venture into NP on my own.. I hate the distance.. I hate how big the school is( opps, cuz i get lost easily.. haa).. I hate how different everything is.. I hate how i hav no farmiliar faces to tie me back to the past.. I hav a much hated life then..
But, it is this moment that really made me perk up again.. After that initial first week, things start to pick up.. I realised that though there r projects n datelines to be met, i kind of enjoyed what i m doing.. Though some stuff i m not good at, but the interest is there, the passion is there. Just like one of our production -- L.A.M.E... ( shall not divulge any details here.. but don judge by the name.. haa..). And, not forgetting a bunch of funky, lame , over- the- top and spunky friends.. With these ppl, anything can happen.. ( u neva noe when a hand's coming out from somewhere.. to..) ok... well, its jus different.. And, in this difference, I feel at ease.. not the 'lonely' soul i was then..
I have a dove,
who loves to bath,
After the bath,
it huffs and puffs.
After huffing and puffing,
it eats cream puff..
ok, this is the kind of crappy and spontaneous thing that will occur when u r with this bunch of people.. Just random..
Next, how can i ever leave out psf? they too play a crucial part in my life in NP.. once i settled down... When u join a club, suddenly there's this sense of connection, of belonging.. its as if, u noe there's this bunch of ppl hu r in the same place as u.. Walking around the campus doesn't seem so bad afterall.. Last thurs session, in the 'sauna'.. haa.. we ran thru the play.. i melted the lines jus 2 hrs before.. I dunno if its due to worrying bout the lines that affected the performance or what.. BUt, i agree that our play is seriously not up to mark.. I m not into the character.. As what Dennis said, yea.. we r kind of robotic.. no emotions r played.. instead we kind of downplayed the whole emotional scence.. it might be that this is the first time i m acting something emotional.. I jus need more time.. i make a promise to myself.. now.. from this moment on.. i will get into the characte asap.. i will do what's required of me.. i noe i m not a gd actor.. i m not good at conveying my emotions.. but, since i m casted this role, i feel that i hav a sense of responsibility to complete it.. to do it well.. I'm willing to work on it..
Why do i always end up being in drama? sec sch years and now this.. my stepping stone, my reason for joining drama in sec sch is a plain-- " there r no auditions". And now, i hav grown to love theatre.. i love watching.. That's y i noe i m not a good actor.. But, well.. i jus love being part of it.. Don always hav to be a bright star, a production takes more than a single hand.. everyone plays a part..
Ok, lastly.. i hav filming this sunday.. even my sundays r robbed of me.. my pleas of help were ignored! nah.. jus kidding.. well, just get it over with.. there r more projs to come.. so y not? And, i m playing with the 'fishpole' and the mic now.. Except.. prashant take the slate away.. evil evil.. i wan to play wif it.. its kind of cool.. how often do u get to play wif equipment that film directors use? See.. this is MCM! life here jus rules.. for the fun part anyway! haa..
ok.. signing off.. hav a great day ppl!
listen to teddy geiger..
watch the last episode of green forest, my home..
watch lakehouse!
P.S. national day! (woah.. when did i become so patriotic?)
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Ok, i know i said that in my previous post that life's kind of a bore at the moment.. But, i meant thr routine of my life.. how everything, every week and every single day jus stays the same.. I mean well.. some people wud prefer life to lead on this way, with no shocks and surprises.. at least u won't hav to be in constant apprehension at what's going to happen next.. Imagine, if one's a klutz then won't he or she be living in a zone of fear at what kind of mishap will be falling on them next? So, i guess its a good tink? But, come to think of it.. If life's really l;ike that, where you always now what's up next.. then there will be no element of surprise.. Its kind of dull.. Ain't it so? Jus working with the clock, 24/7.. so, i guess this issue is really debatable.. people want surprises, but to what extent?
Ok, I will move on to the photoshoot.. Its terrible? I really wonder how models and artistes are able to withstand it.. Photoshoot.. Ok, well.. probably i'm jus not used to this kinda tink. So, yes.. last psf session.. oh as a matter of fact, is ytd.. We had a photoshoot for our play.. So, we can hav some broshures and stuff i guess? And, oh my.. its like a whole day tink.. I din expect it.. I thot its jus gonna be a take one and go off kind of tink.. BUt, alas... no way! we posed and smiled, smiled and posed... Snaps and Snaps, shutters and lights keep going off.. well, we are suppossed to bring 2 sets of clothes but apparently i forgot bout it.. argh.. So sorry for the trouble caused.. But, well anyway.. finally its over.. yipee! but.. lo and behold, jus saw tis email from dennis.. he wans to re shoot the formal wear shot.. woah! that's like.. hmm.. no comments.. ha..
Time has rolled round and projects datelines are up..or well.. on the way to.. everything snowballed into one big lump. There's no room for breathing, no nothing.. web graph webpage design due tis fri wif formal presentation-- and we hav not started work on it.., locvid script due tis fri and not done too, CATS presentation stuff due nxt week n not done too, marketing quiz next week not done too, medisoc interview edit due next mon not done too, graph comm logo design due nxt week not done too... hmm, is this considered 'little'? woah.. dat's y they say a mass- commer is always busy.. Every cca or lecturer expects mass- commers to not be very punctual at activities.. Tell ppl u r a mass- commer, one word they will associate with will be 'Apple' or 'projects'! when are we not tired?
Lastly, i hav to say.. i really don understand y zidane headbutted that Italy guy.. I mean ok.. he might say some ugly stuff that he an't take in very well.. but, it really a pity.. he ended his career in this manner, not with pride and dignity.. During the match, i supported Italy..( partly, cuz France sent Portugal out of the world cup..ha). Though i was happy they won i nthe end, i kind of rooted for zidane too.. not for the team as a whole because i don quite like ribery, but him in particular.. He's filled with an aura of a capable leader and a good sportsman.. He leads the team this far and was just a glitch from winning the title.. I'm proud of him! And, when i saw how he headbutted the Italy player.. my first reaction was utter shock and disbelief..My heart fell when he was sent off from the field.. its really a pity..considering its his last match ever.. Newspapers even wrote ugly headlines like: " He ended his career in disgrace", when they were jus singing his praises a few days ago.. what is this? that's so unfair.. Oh wel.. its over.. The teams i love most are still : " england, portugal and spain...". And, sadly for beckham, he handed over his captain armband.. He's a gd leader.. he's dignified in the way a captain shld, he stands out in the way a leader shld and weeps like a hero does. Everyone puts the blame of the failure of England on his shoulders, but is it really his fault? I though soccer is about team spirit? i believed his days are not over yet.. we muz all hav faith!
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I really feel like screaming now.. I m feeling so bored.. so terribly bored with everything.. There's nothing exciting to arouse my enthusiasm.. nothing at all.. Everything is jus like a piece of plain paper with no rough cuts, no smudges.. How boring can things go?
Though there r normal sch stuff dat needs my attention, like locvid script, web graph webpage, graph comm logo design, medisoc interview n marketing studying... not forgetting my script.. I guess there r a lot of stuff at hand, but its jus that my heart is not in it.. i don really feel this strong pull to finish them... nothing at all.. But, jus a dull in everyday routine..
I'm looking for excitement.. i wan to try new stuff.. i wan to learn roller- blading... so i can ice skate... i wan to go for training as camp facilitator.. i wan to join new stuff.. reaching new distances.. I wan all these.. can i fulfil them during my 7 weeks vacation?
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Friday, July 07, 2006
Things are kind of going crazy in my schedule.. everything is piling up.. higher and higher with each passing day.. It doesn't seem to stop for a breather.. It's like a machine, collecting all my assignments everyday.. never stopping in its path..Finding solutions has been hard.. Working on them even tougher.. One day, it will all cease to exist.. At that time, will i den be truly happy? I hav no idea.. But, sometimes busying yourself is not such a bad idea.. at least it keeps ur mind from wondering..
Projects streaming in.. name it! Rehearsals flowing in all directions..
And talking about the last rehearsal, i m kind of tired n drained esp aft a long day.. So, i guess.. my expression was quite monotonous.. i kind of tune out what's been said.. ha.. kind of feeling bad.. but, i m really tired.. I din do well partly cuz of dat.. or rather i m jus a bad actor? That's for u guys to decide but i jus feel dat i din give my best shot.. i worry too much about how others view me.. I din get into the character like i m suppossed to.. like two poles apart..
I want to try it again.
Don't follow me
Don't read into me
Don't be there
Don't say things that are redundant
Don't.. Pls don't do this to me..
It's enough..
Just let things stop,
let things go..
Let me off.
This is doing nobody any good..
Nobody. Nothing. Zilch.
P.s. The 9pm police show ended! a sad ending.. why? i hate it.. sad endings.. But, the guy was sweet bout it! at least its smth..
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Ok, i guess its been quite sometime since i updated.. Or not really..3 days? hmm.. i guess shld be around dere.. i hav been slogging my guts out for sch.. i m dead serious bout it.. i don even hav time for a proper rest.. not even time to really complete my assignments.. i m still trying to now.. Wonder wat i hav been busying wif at sch?
mon- lectures all day long, attempted to find mr. emilio for digitising but..
tues- locvid where we did our digitising n export back to tapes.. there's tis sense of accomplishment when u see ur video being shown, yea? And, of cuz for de nxt part of the day.. yes.. psf..( will elaborate on dat lata..)
wed- today.. aft psf which ended lata n i went home late... hav to crawl up extra early today for sports n wellness.. Volleyball! wa.. And apparently, there is a competition, inter-class tink to mark de end of the module.. takes place 2 weeks from now.. And its COMPULSORY! wat is this? i m really bad at it.. i tink i m so going to embarass myself on dat day.. yikes! And we formed a team called -- I- BALLS! haa.. its kind of comical.. well..
Ok, next.. move on to psf.. i hav a whole lot of rumblings bout it.. Ok, as in my previous posts, i mentioned bout psf's minor production.. ok.. So, its decided on 3 short plays.. One on Army Daze, One on Virtual Vs Reality and lastly L.A.M.E.. de last 2 created by Dennis.. Ok, n ytd we were sort of suppossed to audition for de roles.. Or rather we were chosen to audition de roles.. And,i was chosen to audition for the play --Virtual Vs Reality.. Before dat, i shall write bout the sypnosis first..
Sypnosis: girl meets boy in IRC. They arranged to meet up. It about how a naive teenage girl meets the guy and didn't realise his true colours till...
There r like onli 2 characters in tis whole script.. And the script is like 12 whole pages where i hav to appear on every scene.. Can u believe dat? And, after de auditions, i m selected, at least for now... depending on whether i will skip too much sessions.. yea.. But, i seriously cant believe how i m selected.. during the audition, first round i m so monotonous dat even dennis cant bear to watch i guess.. But, when the male lead's changed he wans me to go over it again.. n apparently he feels its better.. ( though i feel no diff.. i m still as bad.. ) but, all in all i m selected.. But, its like 12 pages... So many lines.. Ok, 4 yrs in drama in NCHS, when did u guys ever see me wif such a long script? none rite? So, this came as a huge shock.. Not adding dat the storyline is like... dots..
What happens on stage belongs on stage. Whatever feelings and emotions involved only ends when the director calls for wrap- up for the day. Professionalism perceives that-- On the stage, do your best. Get out of character once its done!
I did not change. i never will. The things that change are the times apart. The first time i m not decisive enough, the second hurts even more.. i hav never thot of changing nor am i not what i used to be.. i don't noe what suffices that makes this statement true to u but if ever i did, pls let me noe straight. Letting everything go.. i believe its time.. it not dat i don hold on to the past but will holding on make any difference? It won't be the same again.. Its hard, n i m no hypocrite to say it doesn't mean a thing.. letting go is not easy for me too..
This is getting way out of control.. Things don work out on its own anymore.. I wished this week will end soon..
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Sunday, July 02, 2006
The first piece of news i got when i woke up in the morning was that england lost... Lost to Portugal.. How can this be true? I mean.. credit to Portugal having Rolnado back on the team and England losing Michael Owen n Beckham due to injury, and Rooney being sent off as he's unable to curb his anger.. His recklessness might be the cause for the team's dismissal from the world cup champioship... but, England is not supposed to lose.. At least not now... well.. well.. All's been done, the plates can never be turned back again.. Goodbye England.. have a good rest! U guys were wonderful anyway.. Sometimes mishaps just have a way of catching u off- guard.. Nvm.. gear up for the next world- cup den.. Do not despair..
Adios...
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Is this the first week aft sch reopens? hmm.. seems to be.. I forgot de dates anyway.. Or rather, it doesn't really feel like sch reopen.. As though the break is nonexistence. back to school, nothing really changes.. the lecturers still the same, the food still tasty* at the clubhouse*, the people just like you and me.. And lastly, the projects jus as much.. You wud tink that before de much- deserved 2 weeks break where we rushed thru all de datelines, aft de break everything wud be much easier.. But, apparently not in tis case.. the projects r still piling up, with datelines jus as pressing and finals approaching..
Marketing: final marketing plan to be presented(formal)
Medisoc: term papers & interview assignment
webgraph: test on dreamweaver n photoshop( done ytd), design a website for our company
graph comm: design bus ads, business name card, posters..( all for our green tea proj.. y does it keep haunting us? hmm..)
Cats: present our product plus designing
Sports and wellness: haa.. ok.. a volleyball match
Location video prod: current editing proj n upcoming major project
see? this is life.. School rumblings on n off..
Today, nothing much in store for me.. Jus some lazing around near de neighbourhood.. went to shop for some stuff at hm.. there r like tons of new stuff dere.. though mostly food.. hmm.. makes me wonder.. R they trying to turn the place into a food haven or the next 'newton circus'.. haa.. Fastfoods like long john's, mac. kfc, pepper lunch.. Restaurants like cafe cartel, iciban sushi, orange lantern restaurant, magic wok international buffet, soup restaurant n some others.. woah... alll so yummmy but wif a hefty price to pay.. Well, there's always the food court.. but wif all de delicacies hu wud even pay attention to the food court? hee.. Woah.. M i like a food critic here? hmm..
Oh.. and i went to get a haircut today.. haa.. i hav been saying dat i wan to cut my hair since forever but jus dat i m a tad lazy to really fulfil this want.. But, todae i jus thot of cutting n spontaneously went into the hairdresser.. haa.. And i hav to wait like forever.. around 45 mins jus for a cut.. Blame it on ppl having all sorts of treatment for their hair.. some perm, some dye haie, some rebonding.. wa.. takes forever.. And finally my turn came.. And after some snips n snaps, lo n behold.. shorter hair!!! ha.. lighter i guess.. but overall ont much diff except maybe the fringe which is really too short.. argh.. Every trip to the hairdresser always ends up bad.. haa..
Oh.. and now i m so smitten with the show Green Forest, My Home.. super nice.. I wan the songs inside.. jus so great.. Planned to get the soundtrack album fer it but still considering whether its worth it..But, its really fab.. Nice music somemore.. ok, though i guess u cant really judge from my point of view, since i m a basket for drama idols.. haa.. But, muz believe me.. gif it a trial.. its super..I'm loving it..
Beauty in the eye of the beholder;
(:
(:
