Magical TurnAbout-- Let Me Spin A Tale, A ThouSaNd LighTs, A StaGe as Grande

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Well..its been a really long time since i last blogged.. seriously speaking, i hav neva gone away so long without blogging.. but well.. apparently, i m so overstuffed with projects that i hav seriously no time to even pause for a breath.. ok.. m exaggerating.. but the truth being that i m really so tired nowadays.. i need my energy back.. this is not the old me.. i don feel engaging anymore.. after a certain time, i will tend to 'stone' and not be much of a conversationalist.. But, pls don blame me.. i jus lost the energy to really be enthusiastic bout stuff.. Actually i wont say stress here, cuz stress is too serious a word.. i prefer to use emotional distress.. ha.. at least it doesn't really sound too bad i guess? Cuz well actually in the process of projects, i m doin stuff that i truly enjoy and learn new stuff that seemed like a miracle to me.. amazing me in ways unaccountable.. like using photoshop, freehand and stuff.. the end- product is simply breath taking.. ok.. though i mean i m no expert in tis kinda stuff but its jus amazing in the sense that u r able to create all sort of nice forms and designs( provided that u noe how to..) haa..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ok, this whole week pasts rather fast i guess.. esp when u r rushing n havin not enough sleep, u will noe the element of time plays a role.. After weathering thru one week of 'time- lag', i embrace fri with warm arms.. Finally, i can take a longer sleep... let myself really rest for a moment.. Or rather catch up on all those datelines. tis one week a lot of things happen.. Starting from goin to my uncle's funeral.. he did not make it.. The event was a tearful one where my aunt and cousins were all weeping, the atmosphere was very tense.. But, looking at so many people crying, my tears were threatening to spill, but its always at the las t moment that they seemed to hav a force of their own-- stoppping around the edges of my eyes. Not crying does not necessarily mean not grieving, like my grandma.. i noe that though she din cry, she's oso upset..
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ok, these few days has shown me some stuff bout human nature? How can people be a two- faced creature? How can u even act all happy and friendly towards a person when in sctual fact u jus condemned that person the day before? How can u even backstab ur closest fren n not bat an eyelash about wat u hav done? I hav no idea bout how people do it but if i m pissed off with a person, it wud actually show in my actions n though i try to be very subtle bout it.. i will end up ignoring that person so that i won neccesarily end up lashing at the person.. haa.. ok.. i hav neva really tried lashing at any person yet.. well..
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don't understand what is my underlying message? Can't get the subtle meaning behind my choice of words? i noe u do.. u understand wat i m talking about.. i hav laid them out in black and white, voiced out what my thoughts are.. what do u still wan from me? stuborn or shld it be called perservearence, i do not noe.. jus dat pls understand me.. yes, u noe me.. but do u understand me? i try not to hurt u, but every request has often been the tool that causes hurt.. i do not wan this to happen.. but somrtimes things are jus well out of our control.. i do not ask for much, jus that to let me breathe again..
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An opinion leader is someone whom u values opinions from.. often its someone with senioirty and someone that u respect.. i found this someone.. what u said made me think, motivated me to try harder, to gif it my all.. So, i hope that u gif it ur all too.. don gif up on what u r always capable at-- this is what motivated me.. If ever u really gif up, it wont hurt jus u but the people who cares for u.. ur family.. To me, u r like the elder brother i neva had.. i hope u wud pull urself together once again..
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Ending this long chunk of text with a little observation from me: when i walked home from school one day, i heard a crow sqwaking away, loud and high-pitched.. following this, a dog barked, the howl overpowering the crow's.. but the crow did not gif up.. a 'fighting spree' followed up-- doubling over with sqwaks and howls.. i jus find this highly amusing.. though its of no relavance to me or anything..

Beauty in the eye of the beholder;